Giving up on “Sugar Rush” video (for now), I guess.

Well, two weeks have passed, and on three seperate occasions, I’ve prepared for shooting video of “Sugar Rush”, so I can dismantle the set and move on to the next project.  And on three occasions, the video guys (who shot with me before), cancelled the day of the shoot, even though they said they would shoot for me the night before.

Which extra sucks because my studio is so had to heat in the winter that I need to run the furnace constantly full blast for a good 4 or 5 hours before I want to shoot, just to get it up to like 55 out there.  Yes, I’ve tried space heaters too, and sectioning off smaller parts of my studio, to mixed results.  Someone once was going to bring over a ten trillion btu heater, and I was like “yeah, my extension cords and three outlets and 1960’s electrical work is going to love that.”

Argh.. It’s hard to find people to shoot video for me that I felt comfortable having over at my studio, and letting them in on personal parts of my life. Yeah I know theres probably tons of drooling fans who would jump at the chance to shoot video of me, but I just gotta weed out the “creepy vibe” guys.  Back when I lived in an apartment and knew I wasnt going to live there that long, I let a few strangers shoot me (with mixed results and somewhat unpleasant experiences), but I won’t go there at a place I’m going to be at for a long while.

If you’ve ever wondered why I self shoot my own photos, it’s a complicated set of reasons including availability, and that some photographers do a shitty job (one guy stood in the SAME POSITION for every shot. What’s the point of hiring a guy who can move around and gets lots of different angles if you’re going to be a human tripod?)..  Also, I’m ready to shoot when I’m ready to shoot, and shooting pix on my own schedule allows me to take the time to do it right.

You might think moving to LA where the talent is would be the solution, but it’s not. I can’t do what I do out here out there.  I’d have to start over from scratch or move all my collection of stuff out there, or get lucky on short excursions to pornland and find classy locations and get even luckier with having outfits to match.  If I fly out to LA to shoot, I’m limited to whatever fits in my luggage.  You’ve seen my stuff, right?

So I’m frustrated, and disillusioned.  I’m not even sure I’ll get to shoot anything in my studio unless we have a solid chunk of 30+ degree days.  I guess I can try some simpler shoots inside my house where that’s not a problem. People wonder why it’s so hard to do more than 2 shoots a month there’s lots of reasons.

So I’m actively looking for videographers.  People that are in that comfort zone of being ok with videoing me rubbing one out with huge candy canes up mah butt, while not expecting that they’re going to fuck me.  Obviously the best solution would be someone I had a sexual relationship with, or even better, somone in the fetish/adult modelling biz who I can reciprocate shooting photos of videos of them as payment.

So anyway I don’t know when video of “Sugar Rush” will happen.  I’ll try to keep things up as long as I can, and work on other projects for now.

I’m just venting and frustrated, that’s all.

-Tara