To those of you trying still to convince me like, not get my tits redone…

To this day, after raising roughly $7k for my new boob job, I still get people trying to dissuade me from getting them done. And they need to drink a cup of STFU.

Better yet, think of it this way.  You know how old my current implants are? Well I got them in january 2002 which probably means they were made in the fall of 2001.

Yes, my boobs could very likely be “pre 9-11”

For all we know, my current implants could have been sitting in a box on the 35th floor, at the Mentor Implant corporate offices, waiting to be shipped off to my plastic surgeon, who is probably retired today

A lot of my tumblr followers were in preschool in 2001.

And these bozos were still making new episodes..

Back in 2001, we thought a blue iMac with a CRT tube in it was still pretty much cutting edge.

A case where bigger isn't really better.

What kind of cel phone were you using in 2001? Probably one of those blue Nokia things with a black and white 1 inch screen. I had one.  Texting was a nightmare on it so you didn’t even bother.

It's not even a flip phone, Wait till those come out! Flip phones are the FUTURE!

Most of you wouldn’t drive a used car older than model year 2001 or 2002, would you? (well, personally I would but that’s just me). Like seriously, what piece of crap were they still making in 2002?

The Ford Escort, that’s right.

All it needs is ball joints. And tires. And an alternator. And the belts squeal. And the seats are ripped. Oh, and it needs a new transmission. Oh wait, you're already having trouble finding parts because they've all been crushed.

Do you seriously expect me to continue driving a high mileage 2002 Ford Escort when I could have a brand new, state of the art 2015 Tesla Model S or something? Which has been mostly paid for by the generous donations of my fans?

I didn’t think so.  So go back into your rusty Ford Escort with no a/c that doesn’t run, and furiously take 20 minutes texting your angry response to this post, which you may or may not have been able to view in Netscape on your imac at home, which takes up 2 feet of space on your desk.

While you’re watching Chandler and Joey on Friends.  Hey, Must See TV is tonight!!

Argument over. It really is time to upgrade my boobs.