Oh Tara, I love you Just the Way You Are…

… in your carefully selected and retouched photos!

(note – this originally started out as a post on HungAngels, but I’ve decided to expand upon it in a blog post, because the point bear repeating)

I’m really tired of the “you’re fine just the way you are” arguement, though I do understand it, as I am certainly producing the best work of my career right now.

People keep screaming not to change a thing, when they do not wake up next to me every morning.  This all hold true for the FFS work I want done, and to a lesser extent, the boob job I’m currently angling for.

People are seeing a carefully crafted image of who I am, especially when my pictures have been carefully selected and there’s even a teensy weensy bit of photoshop involved in making them more like the proportions I want.  And not every picture of mine has manipulation involved.  I’m not saying I only exist in the computer-  When the lighting is done well, and I stick my butt out and there aren’t any funky shadows on my face, often times I can use a photo in my photoset without anything but the general hue/saturation filters I do.  I DON’T add things that weren’t there, and my use of photoshop is really what it’s intended for.  With photoshop, you can take a picture that may have been unusuable because of a undeisrable shadow, or a weird dent on my butt, or maybe my nipples look inexplicably crooked, and now you can fix them!

I should stress, I’m NOT, and never will be a “dosug.ru” girl.  Look them up, and you’ll see photoshop making a 200 lb girl looking like she weighs 95 lbs.

So, surprise surprise that I might want to get some “work” done to my body.  Not just my tits, mind you.  But a finite, and carefully selected amount of work, as carefully selected as my own photos, I might add.

Now saying that I use photoshop at all to some people is tantamount to admitting that I’m fraudulent, but I’m just trying to be truthful!   For what I want done in real life, I know what my body wants, and what will look good on me. I know what and where I want things tweaked, and in most cases the tweaks I want, I have been “faking” for years with everything from copious amounts of bra padding to makeup and tape and using some tried and true drag queen methods.  Which is all fine and dandy when it comes to photos, but I really want to do a lot more with video and my film aspirations will benefit from this work being done.

But everyone is like “nooooo!  I love you just the way you ARE”.  Yeah.  the way I AM, which in some cases only exists on your monitor.  O..kay..

Or let me put it another way. A while ago when I expressed interest in getting some FFS work done, there was quite a furore about it. And then I had to come out and say:

Look, it’s like this. What if I told you I was going in for surgery to get a thumb removed. OH MY GOD, why would anyone do that? And then maybe just maybe it turns out I had two thumbs on one hand, but I had concealed that fact for years and had photoshopped out that third thumb? But then, now I had to admit to the world I had three thumbs? Oh my god, career suicide!!!

I could very easily take some pictures of me looking very awful, or in ways that make me look manly.  Trust me, I could.  Not that I should, but I could.   Especially when it comes to the things I want to have done in regards to FFS , I could totally do it.  And yes, that would probably be career suicide.    For now I would just tell you that there’s a photo set I did out there for Shemale Pornstar where Im in a mismatch of blue latex things, and I’m wearing a blonde wig.  Actually, its a wig I’ve made work just fine for other shoots, but for some reason it wasn’t working in this one.  And the lighting was positioned far too high, which brings out all my flaws, HORRIBLY.   I disown that shoot entirely, and regret doing it.

Now, I know it’s not quite as bad as that, but in the end, I’m the person who has to wake up every morning and look at myself in the mirror. I know what I want done, and where I want it done, and exactly how. Hell, give me the scalpel and I’ll make the cuts and sew myself up.  Damn. I left my copy of “Perform Plastic Surgery on Yourself” on the subway.

But I think people are worried that plastic surgery is going to become an addiction.

The only thing keeping me from doing this in the past was money really.   Actually I used to do a lot better financially and wish I had done it years ago.  This isn’t some “new thing”.  And yes, a lot of what I want done is also quite literally to make up for some lost time. I never got to be a 16 year old girl.  That’s a sad thing when you’re a transsexual who transitioned in their late twenties.   Though I doubt any plastic surgery would make me look 16, if there WAS some that could, you bet your ass I’d get it done.

And no, I don’t want to take things TOO FAR, as I know some girls have done that. I won’t mention any names but I can think of a few who had some face work done and they got to a place where they looked perfect – with beauty and personality, and then went in and had more work done and then turned out looking very pretty but without any distinction.

I won’t be going that route.  Like I said, I could literally go into the plastic surgeons office with the sharpie and say “take some off here and that’s it.”  And the funny thing is that you, the viewer would probably never see the difference!    Which I guess means I’m doing a very good job of fooling you all.

Anyway, I do intend on getting hotter, and looking better, and looking younger, and smashing all conventions and pushing my dream of fantasy eroticism as far as I can possibly push it. I just need to make up for some shortcomings.    Of course, these aren’t shortcomings to the average person, but I’m not shooting for average.  My career, my image is all about being far, far above average, of being a transsexual sex symbol, and so I just want to live life to the fullest and take my dreams as far as they can go, because you only live once.

-Tara