New Videos, upgraded videos, and unreleased videos to come!

So yeah, I know, things have been quiet on the new shoot front, but that’s ok, I’ve been working a lot on adding videos to the videos section, and also to my clips4sale store, which had been sadly neglected for years..–

So what’s new?  Well, we have the “Valentine’s Day Every Day” shoot, at 15 minutes long.  And since my clips4sale store generated a gif of it, allow me to dangle this shiny blinky object in front of you.

Next up is a brand new video – “Another Slice of Cherry Pie” in all it’s over the top-ness.

I think the following videos shot with Christian might have been available on his site, but here for the first time we get “High Rise Hooker” and “Sweet Tart Fuckdoll”

Last up is a brand new edit of National Pornographic in HD.

This was an experiment to see how quickly I could do a re edit in HD of something that I previously shot in HD but edited in Standard Def (because I was still thinking of DVD releases, which -amazingly- still sell in 2017).  Pretty much all my video that I have shot since lets say- 2010 has actually been shot in HD but captured and edited in the lower quality.   So to re-edit them means going back and recapturing the source video in HD and basing the new edit on my old edit points.  Yeah, lots of fiddling with timecode and stuff.  But it only took a day to make the new edit, and the bump in quality looks great.  I mean, I know it’s no 4k or whatever, but it seems like a good idea in general to make what I have the best quality it can be.  It does seem like mp4 is the way to go for formats too.

So you can expect to see more videos pop up in the coming months.  One video I have not finished editing yet is “Carousel Rider” and looking over old tapes, it seems like I have a few scenes I never released because they were part of video projects that never panned out.

Enjoy these new videos!  I don’t have anything specific planned for Halloween, (mostly because I do costumes all year and I don’t want to be pressured to think of Halloween as a deadline).  But I am cooking some things up in the studio, as the autumn between too hot to work out there and too cold to work out there means I’ll probably have a week or two of constant shooting, once I get my ducks in a row.



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Where have I been Part 2: I’m back with a new shoot, “Caravan Girl”

So hey! I’m back, with a new shoot! I suppose that’s the short version of the story, but if you’re here, you’re a glutton for punishment, and you probably enjoy my long-winded rambling stream-of-conciousness type of writing, right?  But until I jump into that, let’s just sit back and take in a few shots from my new shoot, “Caravan Girl”.

Remember my rash I keep speaking of, and that everyone says they can’t see in my pictures (I’ve been sparing you all the worse shots, because to me, showing them is “career suicide”), well, I finally GOT a solution to that.

So I get back from Montreal- in one piece- and the rash is clearly not going away.  And I have to say, it’s hurting my career.  Sure, I can try to wear things in camshows that cover it (or just hope no one is recording any camshows), or do a ton of photoshop to fix it in shoots, but the overall feeling it gave me was just a general undermining of my confidence.  I even dated less, and one date I had, the guy asked if I freckled pretty bad in the sun (which I sorta just went “uh huh” without really going into detail about what was really going on.

Anyway, this all meant that maybe it was time to go into hibernation for a little bit, and concentrate on other projects.  As some of you might know, I have quite a few project cars, and well, as much as people think that my “bimbo persona” should leave all that stuff up to guys, turns out I’m pretty knowledgeable when it comes to old VWs, Saabs and other particular kinds of cars.  Let’s just say that this comes from my sort of inescapable redneck past growing up on what was essentially a junkyard.  But it was a junkyard of interesting car junk, so I do have some taste in what I enjoy working on.  I probably know more about air cooled VWs than half the people who go to these shows, my interest in them dating back way before they became a thing in California (so I’m not even the type who uses silly words like “Dubs” and all that.  I enjoy them, to a certain level, and I’ve certainly inherited a ton, (well, let’s say many many tens of tons) of VW stuff from my dad, and that’s not even going into the other stuff I grew up around, like MG/Triumph/Austin Healey stuff.  Like I said, it’s a long long long story, which if I ever write  my memoirs, will be a huge part of it.

So of all the cool cars i had, I had a couple of VW busses.  One red one, that’s a camper, and a blue one that’s not, but was lightly wrecked.  I put the red camper together about 10 years ago and used it occasionally, but it was pretty rough.  Really rusty but it was mechanically OK.  I had to take it off the road this year because the rust was weakening the frame under the rear suspension.  The plan was to get it indoors and at some later date, go to town with a welder on it.   But the blue one I have – apart from the body damage, is actually a very solid body.  It’s a 1970 that was wrecked in 1972, and my dad owned it since 1973-ish, and just stashed it indoors at least since the early 80s.  So the thing only saw like one year of salt.

I can tolerate a lot of rust on an old car, but I just decided  “fuck this crap, why am I screwing around on the shit end of the classic car hobby, when I actually have a solid project bus that I just need to get off my ass and do?” (and yes, there was likely that much swearing when I had this epiphany.)

This wasn’t actually going to cost me much to do, since I have boxes and boxes of parts, and garages full of parts back home as well. It was really more a matter of time.  And seeing that I was kind of down on my body image and stuff, I thought now was as good a time as any to just work on that project instead.

So the end of September I really concentrated on this other bus, and of course everything took longer and much more effort than I wanted it to.  And I also got this idea that it would be pretty cool to do a shoot outdoors in my old camper bus while it was still nice out, and while it was still running.   I also started laser treatments on my face too in mid September, so I had to wait for that to grow out by the end of the month anyway.  As it turned out, everything happened pretty quickly the weekend of September 30th..  On the 29th, I had an appointment I made with a dermatologist about my rash.  Well, guess what? It turned out not to even be the thing I thought it was, pityriasis rosea. Instead it was psoriasis, and they prescribed with tub of greasy stuff for me.

I got home a little early from the dermatologist appointment and as it was, I really needed to get the camper indoors soon if I was going to hit my target for getting the blue bus done. I was aiming to have it ready for a car show on Columbus Day weekend, so that I could vend parts at the swap meet there (so yes, its actually part of a money-making scheme somewhat).  So I had a few hours to shoot  that afternnoon, but as it always is, natural light can  be a fleeting thing, and I didn’t get enough pictures for a whole set.

The next day was  cloudy, but the Sunday after was pretty nice, so i shot the bulk of the pictures that day, then ran the camper into the garage for it’s (possibly final) resting place.
I think I managed to get a pretty good shoot out of it, and I dressed up the inside of the bus with a pretty bohemian selection of blankets, pillows and an old guitar.  Actually it makes me sad that I never got to actually go camping in this camper.  With any luck, it will be saveable and it’ll be back on the road in a few years.  Crazy thing about these busses, is that people ARE doing rust repair on some of them that you wouldn’t even consider saving 10 years ago.  But I got a shoot out of it, which was great.  And I was clever about hiding any imperfections in my skin, and of course photoshop was handy as well.
As for the new diagnosis (psoriasis) and the new treatment?  Well, it was SPOT ON, and I’m kicking myself for not seeing a proper dermatologist a decade ago.   I don’t know exactly how or why I thought I had something else, but the last doctor agreed with me and he turned out to be wrong.  Second opinions are really good things, and I have to say, I’m happy I have insurance, because $15 co pay and $12 for a tub of greasy goo I smear on myself is a cheap price to pay (well, there’s my monthly insurance payment too of course) to actually have this annoying thing FIXED, finally.

It wasn’t fixed in time for these shots, but like I said, I shot 400 raw pictures, so it was not too hard to just settle on the best 200 and just work around the imperfections.  Also like I said, the lighting kept changing and it was really tough to find that sweet spot where the reflected natural light is in perfect  balance with whatever’s coming in through the back window.

Usually when I’m doing these outdoor shoots, I get to that sweet spot and just bang off as many pictures in that position as I can.  But you’ll also get whole blocks of shots with weird shadows, or just blown out highlights that you end up having to toss.

The shoot is what it is, and I’m glad I did it.  It’s got a nice atmosphere to it though I could have pushed the 70s retro look a little further.  But hey, like every shoot, perfect is the enemy of good and enjoy it, even if it makes you think of Kool aid, Tupperware and Tang.

As for the other bus, I got it about 95% done for the show, and a brake issue kept me from going to the show.  It’s not a failure though, I just have to do a little brake work to make it much better.   And for those of you thinking that this bus is something I’m going to sell, let me just say, “not yet”.  I’ve dealt with a lot of rusty crappy stuff over decades, finally I have something solid that I want to have some fun with before I part with it.  Also, I have garages full of parts that I inherited that I’d like to get to car shows and swap meets, so it’s an instrument of that plan, and it’s needed for that purpose. It’s annoying when you have garages and garages full of crap you can’t use (but  has value – or worse- would cost money to get rid of) and everyone wants to buy that Cool Thing you have, and leave you with the 95% of the other shit you have that you can’t use.  Nuh uh! I’m keeping the Cool Thing and using it to find a market for that other 95% of the crap I’ve got.

But hey, I’m back with a shoot, I’ve got a car fixed up that I can have some fun with and my skin is looking pretty clear. And now that I don’t want to mess around with cars for a while (let me tell you, my body ached for a whole week after it, it really is painful to my muscles!), I will be jumping back on the new shoots, and the video updates, and damn, if I dont want to just sit at the computer for like a whole month now!  Anyway, here’s the other bus if you’re curious.  It’s a little rough around the edges (I didn’t have a perfect sliding door to use), but it’s completely rust free underneath, where it counts.  And it’s got patina too.
Next blog post, my BIG video update in progress!


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Where have I been Part 1: Tranny Trouble! (AKA the Montreal Fetish Weekend Report)

Hey, I’ve been away.  I know.   No, I’m not dead, but I have been going through unfortunate stuff that had negative implications to my career.

So, I might have mentioned here and there earlier this year that I had been going through a skin condition.  Basically this mystery rash that I have had off and on since 1999, usually every 2 years lasting for a few weeks or a few months.  Someone had told me it was a stress rash called Pityriasis Rosea, (or perhaps I had diagnosed myself?) and there really wasn’t much that could be done about it, but UV light helped it go away quicker.  This was a non-contagious, non catchable thing but still not pretty, basically looking like measles or chicken pox.

Well after a few years of not having it, I had a bit of a flare up in March, but thankfully subside in April, when I got Cherry Pie and Burlesque or Bust done.  It tends to be most noticeable on the sides of the tummy under the breasts, but above the waist, so it’s usually easily covered by corsets and many of my outfits, but anything with a bare midriff would show it.

And I know, you all are going to say that I look great, what am I talking about? well, DUH, of course I’m not going to post pictures of me looking like I have some skin disease, you know, that would be sort of a career suicide.

The rash was back again in May, and did a little to dampen my spirits at Fetish Factory in Florida, then it went away for a while.  But at the end of August, it came back and finally, fuck this, I needed to do something about it.   I had a few floating offers to shoot some mainstream porn video that I pretty much had to turn down, because of it.  Sure, I CAN get away with doing photos, (lots of photoshop work to fix it, but it’s not impossible), but for video, forget it. And even if another company was going to shoot photos of me like that, I wouldn’t have any guarantee that they’d make the same effort that I would to fix those pictures.

So, I was thankfully pretty clear when I shot “Polkadot bikini Bimbo” and “Porcelain Victorian” in August, but a week or two before Montreal Fetish Weekend, the rash came back with a vengeance.  So this time dammit, I went to see a doctor who prescribed me some pills to take to help clear it up, and I switched gears to making outfits for the event.

And this year I didn’t do too bad with the craziness of “how many new outfits am I going to try to make in not enough time” as last year, I already made half this blue and white “Flamenco” outfit.   So essentially, I had already been through the super stressful part of making this outfit, which I literally had dropped half-made, and completely forgotten about it until looking for things to make for this year.

So it really didn’t take much to wrap this one up and make it into something special, though I think when I actually shoot in it, I might try a different hair color.  Not sure yet.  Actually, my rash isn’t noticeable in this picture, but in next picture it is.  Regardless, I had confidence that it would be gone in a week for Montreal.
I know it’s kind of a crappy front-facing iphone 4 selfie but I can assure you, the rash is there.

There was also ambitious plans to make “Mecha Tara” but those were scuttled pretty quickly when it was clear I didn’t have time for new techniques or unproven materials.

However, I had some crazy kinky furry fox tail idea kicking around in my head that I simply  got inspired to start working on it, knowing full well I wouldn’t finish it in time.


Yeah, it’s a welded tail with a buttplug and cockring built in.  It will look pretty cool when it’s finished, if it’s not too heavy.  The final idea is kicking around here in sketches, but truth was, I was working on this the night before leaving so it was really more of just a weird tangent I went off on. And hopefully unlike last year’s unfinished “Flamenco” outfit, I won’t take a year to wrap this one up.

So I drove up the 360 miles to Montreal in an old Volvo 240 wagon, which was reasonably solid and had made the trip before, but like most Volvo bricks, has like 400,000,000 miles on it.  I’m not sure why I didn’t drive a different car, as I do have a VW New Beetle here as well, but I think something silly like the cooling fan wasn’t turning on, and on the Volvo it’s connected to the motor so it can’t overheat, plus the Volvo has more room inside so I could bring like 3 or 4 Big Hats.

I hadn’t taken this car on a long trip in a while (a few years back it made it to Pennsic as well), and sort of had forgotten about how the wheel bearings and driveshaft bearing were kind of gravelly, to say the least.   About 100 miles in, it all came back to me, “oh yeah, I forgot about all the little problems with this car”.  But I pressed on.

Somewhere at a rest area in New Hampshire, I  stopped to pee, and came back out and tried to start the car up.  Nope, battery almost dead.  Also, I had forgotten how this particular car had a so-so alternator, and if you were driving around during the day, you’d be fine, but say it was at  night, and you had the lights, wipers, fan and radio all on, you’d barely be charging the battery.  Well, I had been using the radio and fan, so apparently that was enough to do the battery in.   Sadly, the Volvo is an automatic, so I could not pop start it (I’m not much of a fan of automatics because of this.  Yes, I have pop started many a jalopy).

So, called AAA and they were being dicks to me.  I just wanted a jump as I knew about 15 miles down the road was a big retail area and could buy a new battery.  But they seemed to insist that they only wanted to tow it somewhere.  Thankfully someone offered to give me a jump and I cancelled my AAA call.   I got to Auto Zone, all accessories off, where I discovered I charged the battery enough to be able to start up again and be on my way.  But I still bought a new battery anyway, just as a back up.  I really knew now that I had to get to Montreal before it got dark because those lights would probably tip the scales.

And yeah I know what you’re all going to say, “Geez Tara, you need a new car”.  You know, I borrowed a friend’s ’13 Dodge Dart and as nice smooth and reliable that it was, it was incredibly claustrophobic and I can’t believe how close to the top of the windshield the driver’s forehead is.  And the butt is so high up in the air that it needs back up cameras.  Which to me is a solution for a problem that shouldn’t have had to exist in the first place.  Sure, there’s lots of nice, interesting features and electronic bells and whistles, but most of that I find to be distracting.  I wouldn’t quite say that I hate new cars, but I find that they all seem the same, and I made this weird, conscious decision a while back that I’d rather maintain a small fleet of solid classic cars, all very different designs and very different driving experiences.  My Volvo is pretty solid, being a California car, but I just have to work a few of the mechanical issues out.

Anyway I sailed through customs without getting the car searched (or the full body cavity search!) and rolled into town just as the sun was going doing. I found a place to park where I didn’t need to move my car until Sunday.   And since I did have to turn the lights on, once I shut it off, I tried to start it again, and the battery was dead, of course.  Which was fine as I had a new one waiting in the wings.  Actually, the reason I didn’t put the new one in in NH is that I was getting by ok on the one I had, and I felt no reason to half drain two batteries rather than just fully drain one of them and leave one untouched.

So at this point you must be thinking it’s all car drama, and there’s no actual fetish event here.  Well, give it a couple of days.  But for now, I could concentrate on  doing what I do best, but I was sort of getting the short version of this event, having driven in on a Friday evening and heading back Monday, Labor Day.

The club nights were ok, and I’ll just sort of give a run down of each outfit I wore.  At this point, I wasn’t seeing any improvement to my rash, so the best I could do was get some Dermablend (a really thick make up cover that costs like $30 a tube) and just sort of hope everything looks ok in photos.

So this first one is a wonderful bellbottom catsuit thingy I made last January that I have not shot a shoot with.  It’s got a weird sort of rhinestone Vegas sort of quasi Elvis vibe to it, if that’s a thing.  I added the fur collar and cuffs so it keeps evolving and it’s one of my favorite recent outfits.  Like I said, it’s on the books to do a shoot with very soon, I just have to find a matching room to shoot in, or build a set the right colors to shoot against.  It does NOT work well in any of my pink rooms or against a pink backdrop, so that’s why the shoot has not happened.

By the time I got back from the first club night, I was pretty exhausted.  So, on to the next day.  But from the looks of these pictures, you’d think I’d never left my room.  I’m sure some pictures exist of me at the clubs. Here’s one, taken with and by a guy from Transformation Magazine…
I gotta say, even though that fur is just rabbit fur that I had to stuff behind it, it’s looking really nice and is a nice addition to this outfit.

So, the next night I pulled out this chestnut from earlier in the year.

Actually, you can see that the Dermablend it doing it’s job, though I could totally understand if a camera flash might make the rash more noticable.  I think Saturday was the night of the fashion runway show and though I wasn’t in it, I sort of, uh, crashed it, so to speak.  You know how they say “Never show up the bride” or “Don’t wear red at a funeral”?   Yeah, I’m that person who does that..
Ooh, not really tucking well there, am I?

The other outfit worn that night was “Tea and Crumpets” (Strumpets?  Even I forget what I call these shoots half the time).  Which though half of it was old, half was new this year and all of it was unseen in Montreal.

I really do like the way this one came out, and how I sluttified the old “Courting Boat” outfit.

So, Sunday afternoon comes around and it’s time to move the car to another side street. I’ve done Montreal enough times to know where to park for free (why pay $20 a day for 4 days?).  You just gotta know how to read the signs, and know your days of the week in French.  So I put the new battery in the Volvo and came around to my new spot on another street.  And literally as I’ve just completed my parallel parking job and about to go from “R” to “P”, all of a sudden I’ve got nothin’ in the shift lever.

Uh oh.   I shut the car off, and look under it, and a piece of linkage is hanging down. It’s touching the pavement, but not bent or broken, but apparently some other bit was.  And, well, it was pouring outside.   Well shit, I wasn’t expecting this. I expected electrical problems, or some other issues, I had no idea the shift linkage would fall apart.  And no linkage means I can’t start up the car, or of course, drive it.  Shit.. Shit shit shit.  Oh, and SHIT.

Welp, I guess I know what I’ll be doing in the next couple of hours.  I did have a pretty full tool kit, and I managed to get off the broken bit.. Aha.  So THATs why my shift felt pretty sloppy anyway.


So that L shaped piece on the upper left fell apart into two pieces, and then that iteself needs to attatch to the flat piece with the holes on it, that actually shifts through the gears on the transmission.. This picture was taken after I peened over the end of the threaded barrell onto the L shaped piece, with a hammer, using the manhole cover on the street as an anvil.  The reason it all fell apart was because the plastic bushings had worn away, and so I re-made the bushings with bits of a cap to a red Sharpie pen.
So I needed some sort of snap ring to keep this all together, and turns out there was a non-crucial one holding the rear seat bottom pin in.  And then I wrapped it all up in wire to keep it all held together.  The plan was, that this would get me to Home Depot on Labor Day, or to a Volvo garage.  This particular part , by the way, appears to not be available from any car parts stores, not that I’d have a clue what to call it in French.  I mean, it’s a doohicky, gizmo thingamabob, right?

So it was all back together and though I had a couple hours of freaking out (mostly dreading having to tow it somewhere, to people probably less equipped to fix it than it turns out I am), but mostly my friend around me marvelled at how well equipped I was to deal with this.   Friend of mine were like “I want Tara on my zombie apocalypse team!”, and someone else said I had “MacGuyvered it back together”

But it really took the focus away from the weekend festivities of the fetish show.  At some point, I just really wanted to cut my losses and go home, not stick around searching for bits of Volvo.  Or worse, trying to get out to junkyards out in the sticks of Quebec, where surely they spoke even less English.   Oh, and as you can see, when I take over a room with my stuff, I really do sprawl a bit.

So Sunday night rolls around, and I’m down to “Flamenco” and whatever I had left.   I think I did fine for outfits, and I managed to not destroy my civilian clothes crawling under the car.  As it turned out, we had a break in the rain, and I hunted around literally in alleyways for a hunk of cardboard to lay on while replacing the shift linkage.  I could have gotten a hell of a lot filthier, but did ok.  It’s a good think I have gloves to cover them dirty fingernails, that’s for sure.  But from the look on my face, you can sorta tell I’m Done With This Shit, and ready to go home.

I did get taken out to sushi by a friend (who had offered a tow back to her place and really was my safety net, thank you!), but I was just going to see how Monday went with searching for some extra bits to make my repair a little more permanent.  Rounding out my outfits was my Valentine’s Day outfit from 2017.
Monday rolls around, and apparently Labor Day might as well be Christmas as EVERYTHING is closed, even Home Depot.  So screw that plan, I guess.  And of course, the one Volvo specialist I found was also closed, so I put the linkage back on  (ok, I don’t recall if i put that back in Sunday or Monday), and was hedging my bets that maybe I’d get a few good shifts out of it before it could potentially fall apart again ( I was more worried about shifting in whatever particular direction might want to pull the part apart, rather than keep it pushed together).

So once I got in the car, shifted from Park to Drive, I was like “Ok, lets just GO”, because honestly, I could get all the way to customs, and beyond without having to touch the shift lever at all.  I’d have to put it back into park to get gas, but by that time, I’d be back in America, and could find an open Home Depot, or use my AAA (I was never clear wether my AAA worked in Canada or not).

So I got home, and the car shifted quite fine. In fact, I’m still on the MacGuyvered repair, though I really should take it back off and make it a bit more permanent (honestly, I’m thinking of just welding the peened over bit to the other bit, so that it can’t come apart again.

Montreal was fun, but I’ve done it so many times I think I’d like to try something different.  Plus this year, my skin rash sort of sapped away some of my confidence.  I got back home and I sort of fell into a bit of a depression, because the medication they gave me wasn’t working at all.  And that’s why you haven’t seen much of me for a while, at least on this blog, and also just in general on my site.

But I have found other things to do, and yes! There is a happy ending for my skin condition, a solution that I never expected, and feel stupid for not doing in the first place…

But I will leave all that for the next blog entry…



Posted in Fetish Events, My life, travel, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Ok, so that was a disaster…

So what can I say? That didn’t go very well!
(Editor’s note:  I wrote the bulk of this  blog post on August 26th, but did not post it till today, Sept 9th)

Last night after many technical difficulties I attempted to do a camshow with that Jules Verne fucking machine and at best I would say it was a wash..

Of course the first question I should ask myself is why did I even try to attempt this in the first place? As you might remember I had a great photo shoot three years ago where I built the cool Jules Verne fucking machine by taking an actual functional fucking machine and removing the coverings, so that the guts were exposed, and then adding lots of crazy gears and what not to it to make it all very cool looking.  But I  but the whole thing was really made out of scraps of wood and PVC pipe and held together with drywall screws and a prayer.  It had been made just for a shoot (and also a scene in UNS) but hadn’t been made to last.

But being so large, and cool looking, I decided to keep it around and recently though that if I was going to get rid of it, I might as well do a live show with it.

And though I hardly gave my fans much notice as to the live show, I did spend the night before the show setting up the camera on a tripod so that I didn’t have to use the built in camera on my laptop.

This actually was a pretty sound idea, because I could use the zoom on the camera to either show a nice detail, or zoom out to show the whole thing.  It meant that I had to screw down a couple of milk crates where I would have my laptop off to the side. I did a dry run that night, and then I took the laptop off the 2 milk crates, so that I could secure the crates down.

And that’s where it happened.  I managed to drop one of the crates directly onto my laptop screen, while the computer was on.  I pretty much wrecked the screen though the rest of the computer seems unaffected.

After I had a good old cry, I did go ahead with the camshow though, by hooking up an external monitor.  I had a couple of viewers, on streamate and on my site, but not in any huge numbers and it wasn’t though I made enough that night to replace my laptop either!

Also, about a half hour into the show, it was pretty clear that the fucking machine itself was flying apart from all the vibrations.  So, a couple of people got to see it in action, but that was about it.   So I went over to a nearby couch and finished my show there.  I managed to salvage something for the show, but it was clear that my ideal fell short of my reach.

And as for the fucking machine itself, I’m just going to rebuild it into some sort of futuristic hentai fucking machine.   Don’t worry, it won’t go to waste.  But I think I did get some shoots out of it and, well, that’s enough. To be honest,  I need to learn to part with those old sets and props that end up hanging around my studio, so that I can make room for the new ones.    But you do need to take shit apart and break sets down if you’re going to make something new and better.

I did post about all this on instagram and tumblr, and I got a bunch of donations, to fix my laptop so I will be back up and running pretty soon.

Next up, my Montreal Fetish Weekend report..



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Tara Emory vs the Sex Machine Live Camshow August 25th!

Hey I know this is rather short notice, but I’ve got this lovely lovely steampunk fucking machine that I hardly ever use, so I figured, why not use it in a live show and hype it up a bit?

Okay so perhaps that’s a touch dramatic, but hey, I gotta push this thing, right?  See you Friday night, let’s see who wins!  I’m guessing this rickety antique will shatter to pieces.  (and by that,  I meant the steampunk fucking machine)

And while I’m at it, here’s a sneak peek at my recent shoot, which will probably be what I wear for the camshow.

I don’t quite know what I’ll call this shoot yet, but it will probably go up by the end of the month as there’s another one in the queue that’s almost completely ready to post.

I don’t know yet what I’ll call this shoot, but the working title so far is along the lines of “The Swedish Bikini Bimbo Team” or something.  I did have fun making that hat though, and decorating the background too.

See you all Friday I hope!


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“Courting Boat” Redux on it’s way…

Hey!  So I’m back, partially.  I’ve been working more than a week or so on my variation on the old “Courting Boat” outfit.  I had spent a heck of a lot of effort on this outfit, years back, but always felt that the final pictures were lacking.

I think what happened is that I made an outfit that didn’t lend itself to showing a lot of naughty bits, and though I tried to pull up the skirt and or take the skirt off,  It was clear that in order to keep the sleeves on, I’d have to keep the top corset on (they were attatched).  Well, there was that and the fact that I shot these indoors and I was trying to pass it off for outdoors.  Which of course didn’t look good at all.

But in any event, I decided that it might be cool to make a variation of this outfit that was a little bit more revealing, yet not going and recreating it from scratch.

Trouble is, I only had this much of the purple and white striped material left!    Yep, these 8 scraps.  Literally scraps.  And it was the sort of thing where I have no idea where I bought it from, and usually with fabric, unless you’re lucky to know the manufacturer (which of course no one knows that), than maybe you can track down more.     I went off and hit all my local shops and none of it was to be found.  So what I decided to do was make an open bra and garter belt, then make a little white waist cincher from the same kind of material as the old corset.  I calculated that I had enough purple and white scraps leftover to make the open bra and the garter belt, but that was about it.Trouble is, I wanted the same big puffy sleeves on this new version, yet I also didn’t want to destroy the old version (which covered the breasts).  I had to figure out a way to have my cake and eat it too.   What I ended up doing was transferring the big puffy sleeves to the open cup bra, and then taking the old corset top the sleeves were on, and making it into a finished off sleeveless thing that could go over the new open bra with sleeves, giving exactly the same effect.

The end result came out pretty close, though in the end I opted not to make the striped garters.

However, I got a bit of a late start shooting the photos (at about 5pm), so the decent indirect sunlight was moving around and not giving me the best light.  I did manage to shoot 170 or so, but I think less than half of them are that good.
I did choose a few to edit, but I’m just going to resume shooting this set tomorrow or the next day and start a few hours earlier. I may also try to get some shots in the full outfit as well.
So enjoy this little sneak peek!  I haven’t picked a name yet for this shoot.  I might find a variation of “Courting …”  but I’m sure it will come to me.  I do love shooting in the back yard but sometimes it’s a crap shoot with the light changing, and having to constantly change the camera and re-adjust the reflector etc.


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Goodbye Leonidas


So I’ve tried to write this blog post a few times.  Wrote something.  Deleted it.  wrote something again.  Let it sit for a week, deleted it too.

I lost one of my most beloved kitties last week.  July 25th.  And this was right on the heels of learning of the deaths of Nicci Tristan and January Seraph.  I didn’t know Nicci that well but she was a fixture in the international fetish scene.   January and I was closer, and we shared a room together in Jamaica for the Miss Fetish Queen of the Universe Pageant.  So we were pretty close, and I knew her well enough to know her life had it’s ups and downs.

This isn’t a fitting place for a proper tribute to my colleagues. I dunno.  January will be missed.  Though it had been a few years since I’d seen her last (probably Montreal Fetish Weekend), you’d always expect to see her at the next event.

So it was with this heavy heart that I decided that I really needed to pay attention to the things around me, and that I should stay indoors and spend time with my ailing kitty.  I also had some really important artwork to do, so it turned out Leonidas was shut in that same part of the house the drawing table it set up in.

So him and I spent the whole day together. He was eating, going up and down the stairs okay (though I had put a pillow at the bottom of the stairs in case he had a tumble), taking his medicine and pooping like he should.  He purred and sat on my lap and was pretty excited to spend the whole day with me.  He got to roam the house a bit and get visits from the other cats.  It was very sweet.  I actually got my artwork all done, and that was a huge relief since this was a paid commission I had been procrastinating finishing up for months.

At about 5 am, I took Leonidas back from the other part of the house (I let him roam free, he wanted to be with the other cats),  and had to shut him back in that one section again

He meowed. as I went off to bed.  I woke up around noon and when I went to check on him, he was basically in his death spasms.  Called the vet and brought him in, at which time putting him to sleep was just a formality.   Wether it was a heart attack or stroke at this point who knows.  He was only 9, but was down to less than 6 pounds and skin and bones.   He died in my arms and the concluded that it was probably some sort of pancreatic cancer,  because whatever I was doing to help him should have helped if it wasn’t cancer.  Here’s what I looked like when he was a full grown kitten.

So, I’m pretty depressed right now.  Yeah, I know, it’s just a cat.  But 9 is too early to go, and though he was always going to be a cat with chronic health issues (he had a constant sneezing thing too), I thought, or had convinced myself that he was getting better.

Oh poor Leonidas.  Leonitus.  Leonidus.  The vets always spelled his name wrong, and I could never remember which way was right, and I found myself spelling it 3 different ways.  Anyway.  When you’re a person who is probably never going to have children, its like yeah, losing one of your children.

But it’s weird how things happen. If I hadn’t have stayed indoors and worked on that artwork, I wouldn’t have gotten that last, full. solid day with him.  If he had died a few days earlier when I thought I had been neglecting him (visiting him only to feed him and jam an eyedropper of foul tasting liquid down his gullet), I know I’d be feeling even worse.

He was a good kitty.   A real good kitty. One of the best I’ve ever had, and gone before his time.

So. I’m trying now to throw myself into that work.    It’s not like I haven’t gotten anything done, I did do some video shooting the day after, and I’m currently finishing up a new variation on an old shoot, which I will shoot later this week (it’s August now).  But in general I have been trying to not force myself into doing things, and just try to let my feeling and my

In short, I’ve been more socially introverted lately, which isn’t great if you need to be constantly promoting  yourself.

So I’m gonna hit “publish” and just throw this up there.  The other project posts can all be separate. I sorta have to separate them, even I feel it’s weird mixing my porn posts with post about my departed pet.

But if your’e wondering where I’ve disappeared, that’s why.  I’ll be back soon, don’t worry.



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More new stuff, call it “Burlesque or Bust”

New shoot, called “Burlesque or Bust” which just went up on my site.

Blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Jibber jabber, Tara, tara, tara.  Talk about self.

Talkity talkity something something something.

Something something, whoa!  Cock in the air,  blah blah blah.

Feathers feathers, little hats,  same old same old.  blah blah blah.

Yep, business as usual.



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What’s colorful, plastic and hung like a horse??

Okay, so harumph, I got some shoots done.  First off, there’s this one, which I’m calling “Carousel Rider”.
It’s not quite red, white and blue (for the 4th of July), but its pink white and blue (and a few purples in between), which is pretty close.
Looks like Trigger is getting a little playful, and Seabiscuit is getting jealous!

Whoa horsie!

This was a big set, and I shot over 300, so I’m currently whittling it down to the best 200 or so.  I still have a pretty big slog to go through, so it’ll be a few days.  Bottom line is, I’m back, and soon enough I’ll show you some samples of the other shoot I got done.

Back to work!  It’s good to be back.  I’ll reflect more on my time off (it’s not quite as simple to just say, “I’m back”, but right now Priority #1 is getting a new shoot on my site) pretty soon.

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Crisis of Confidence.

This little troth I’m in is taking a bit longer to get out of.

I may be backtracking a little bit here, but after I came back from Florida at the end of May, I was a little disillusioned with my career.  It wasn’t anything specific that happened In Florida, just a general feeling I had when I got back, and I took advantage of the spring weather to switch gears and work on some car and yardwork related projects.

I had a car show weekend coming up in June and I worked a bit of a few cars but really not got anything specific finished in time.  The magnitude of all the projects is starting to wear my down.  And then the car show itself was a thing I attended with family members which has a way of sorta cramping one’s flamboyant style.

And it’s not anything specific that my family does to me, I mean, they more or less accept me as I am, but also expect me to still so things around the house that utilize some aspects of male gender roles.  This usually means that I need to maintain their property and it’s more than just mowing the lawn.  Its’ dealing with a lot of crap i don’t want to deal with

Sadly these are responsibilities that i can’t really get out of, in fact me doing them is me “doing my part”.  I don’t think they really understand how doing this stuff doesn’t fit in with my gender identity.  Sure, I don’t mind doing some things that I carry over from my boy life, but not everything.

And no, for various reasons, I can’t get someone else to do them.  Please don’t offer. I have my reasons and I can’t accept help in this area.  I’ll elaborate a bit more later maybe.  I was considering making a fundraiser for something that needs to be done that will free up more time for me to do shoots and save me time and effort and backbreaking labor, so I can do shoots instead.

I do have a bunch of solid concepts that I’m working on for shoots.  Though none of them are easy because they all all ambitious.  But I know the lack of new content on the site is making people lose interest.  Couple that with CCBill needing to deduct a lot from my paycheck for my Visa and MC merchant renewal fees and I’m not looking at good summer unless I turn things around.

Fuck, i hope I’m not coming down with Lyme disease again. Oh great. there goes my anxieties.  Like I said, I’m working on some concept and ideas and it looks like we have a nice solid week of  nice days and cool nights so this is the time to get some content out of the way .

Problem is, the model isn’t ready.  A big part of me being able to do what i do is based on me having that independence, and yes, even a certain amount of narcissism.   I have to get myself into the Tara Emory Universe to be comfortable back in front of the camera. It’ll happen, hopefully in a week or so.

I’ll report more later.


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