And I’m more or less off to Fetish Factory in Florida!! Yay!!

So, I’ve been super busy the last few days, getting ready for Florida.

I do apologize for not getting video update up.  I have two videos already edited that are in the can, and a further two videos that I captured all the video on, so I got really close to the update.

I thought a lot about making something brand new and really amazing for Florida, but all my really ambitious designs I have are also extremely bulky (like picture huge furry purple skunk tails or robot.  So the newest thing I did was do some alterations to the old Goldicocks outfit.  I’m playing around a bit with painting stripes on this really cool iridescent pink PVC, and I’m replacing the light pink bows on the old version with these.
I’m sorta at some point I’ll make an outfit made of nothing but this, with a matching corset, but for now I’m just going to add these to Goldicocks and make a variation of it. This is sorta what I have in mind ..  (well, not just the costume, but the scene as well!)

The other outfits I packed, I’m amazed they all fit in a carry-on and checked bag.  Including the huge hat, which hopefully won’t get too damaged.  Plus like 4 pairs of stripper heels and like 4 or 5 wigs I think.  So all these costume fit in.  Pretty much the only way they did is because I pretty much didn’t pack a single pair of sensible shoes or a mundane outfit at all.  If I can squeeze it it, maybe I’ll stick in a pair of pants and a blouse.

Yes, most of this squishes pretty easily, and hopefully will all fluff up when I unpack.

Watch this blog for updates, as well as on my other social media.  I’ve got a somewhat better phone situation this year, so I’ll be hammering the social media stuff home pretty hard.

But now it’s off to sleep, which is rare before I fly out.  Usually I’m up all night but the first parties are tomorrow night, so I want to be well-rested for those.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, travel, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Tara is the future of sexdolls in “Sweet-tart Fuckdoll”

Porn stars Christian XXX and Kelli Lox have brought home a new toy to play with!  An anamitronic hentai catgirl sex doll!

Artificial but with flesh better than reality, this virtual cartoon come to life can be delivered straight to your penthouse apartment.  It’s all the rage of the urban elites looking for that next frontier in fucking!

The simulated sexual orifices of the Tara sexdoll are better than reality, utilizing a onboard supercomputer with a thousand gigaquads of data dedicated to sensory programming of her pleasure holes.

But we know you want that vapid look in it’s eye, so we’ve equipped the Sweet Tart Fuckdoll with a paltry 64k of memory for her brain.  For those seeking even less brain power, an optional 16k model is also available.

The Sweet tart Fuckdoll can be had for you for only $199,995 today!  Don’t wait, order one today!

The whole shoot went up today, and the next update will  contain videos for this scene and a few recent scenes as well.




Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

What a difference a month makes… but… every silver lining has a cloud.

So, a little over a month ago I was in a pretty crappy place, and I even said some crap on social media about basically walking away from the business.

And then I got my shit together and came up with three shoots, Black Swan, Blossoming Bouquet and Another Slice of Cherry Pie.  Lets bask in their beauty again because I’m not sure when things will calm down and I can move on to whatever is next…

So I had these three shoots come out every 10 days like what had always been my intent on my site (updates on the 10th, 20th and 30th of every month), but rarely happens because life gets in the way.

And I wish the rest of the focus of this post was about the awesome things I have coming up, but it won’t be.  So allow me to touch briefly upon some more of the good news before I move on to the bad news.

So I don’t quite yet know if getting back to the three shoots a month routine has a tangible effect on my website income and memberships, but I can’t imagine it would make them worse. And I did do a pretty good job of hyping the shoots on social media and basically  getting my visibility up there.    It may (or may not) have also just improved my karma in the grand scheme of things.

So, at the end of the month was my birthday (April 28th) and I am so very thankful that so many fans wished me a happy birthday and gifted me so many things off my Amazon Wish List.   So many things that I think my wishlist is depleted and I’ll have to go and go add many things to that again.

But I think maybe there was something working on another level here too, and that’s what I mean when I speak of karma.    You see, I was not planning on going to Fetish Factory’s Anniversary Weekend event in Florida, which is in Ft Lauderdale on Memorial Day weekend.  Way back in December the host hotel had filled up, and since they do a hotel takeover, it’s really not the same if you can’t get into the host hotel.

So I had given up on that, and besides, I had a crappy winter, so I didn’t really have the money.  Usually I get hit with a big tax  bill in April, so the springtime is often a squeaker while I get back to productivity.

But then a friend who was going to FF told me about another mutual friend who was seeking  a hotel roommate for the event.  Would I like to go?  Well, YES, as  long as i can still secure a ticket to the event and secure a plane ticket before they become too expensive.

Then I had my new accountant do my taxes.  For some reason (and maybe this reason is not a good one , but more on that later), I was going to get a refund this year.  And then around my birthday, not only did I get some wonderful gifts off my wish list, but a few fans sent me some unexpected money orders too.

So, it’s like the universe was telling me, YES TARA GO TO FLORIDA, here’s what you need to go.  Another friend going to the event had a pass already.  Unexpected windfall from fans,  And a tax return to boot.  And oh, 3 shoots out this month so that’ll probably keep the members happy (well, as long as I can resolve the server issues, which may or may not be in the process of  being fixed as I write this).

So yes, I’m going to Florida.  Which maybe that seems like a frivolous vacation for most of you, but for me it’s very important to keep my visibility in this scene, because I’m in this scene as a career, and I’m in it for a long haul.  My hope is that in a few years or so, I’ll be enough of a presence in the fetish scene that maybe, maybe I can be emceeing events and performing at more of them.  There’s a lot of evidence to support that the longer I stay in this, the more my cache grows, the bigger my legend becomes.  But enough about me, lets talk about me for a while?

Okay okay, you get the picture.

On a smaller scale, This coming Sunday, May 7th, I’ll be headlining at the Trans AllStar party at Club EGO in Providence, like I have several times before.

I kind of got onboard with this a little late (like a week before it’s actually happening).  And if you’re wondering why  you’re only hearing about it now, well, there’s a reason for that too.

Okay, everything that you read in this blog post before the EGO flyer above, I wrote like 3 days ago.  Actually, I was going through some server issues and my server guys moved the entire site over to another server at the same time I was posting the original blog post.

See how the title of this is  that every silver lining has a cloud?  Well, apparently, the entire second half (the bad news) vanished in the either in the server move.

What that second half was about is (and I’m going to see if I can retrieve it from the server guys tomorrow during business hours) was pretty simple, and I don’t really want to rewrite it.

Basically, my taxes are being audited by the state. (not the IRS).  It’s a nightmare, of sorts, though i really haven’t done anything wrong.  Actually, it might be a blessing in disquise that the original second half of this blog post vanished, as it was mainly bitching, whining and complaining.  Suffice to say I am going to be spending a bit of time in the next week or so building up a case to the tax office showing them where I spend my money.  And I used to be coy about my business affairs with them, just out of respect that I doubt that they want to have to view porn.  Well no more!  They want to see where I spend my money, they’re gonna have to see, regardless of if they need to wash their eyes out with bleach afterwards.

So yeah, that’s what I’m going through right now. It’s sorta taken the highest priority and if I’m “phoning in” my performance tonight, so be it. I think me “phoning it in” is probably more ambitious than other people’s Big Productions.



Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Has anyone noticed the site being occasionally slow or unresponsive?

Has anyone noticed the site being occasionally slow or unresponsive? I’ve been seeing some slowdowns on the site in the last few months. I’ve called my server guys and they deleted a bunch of “zombie processes” but that hasn’t stopped this from being slow sometimes.

The server guys say everything is fine, but I’m not so sure. Considering that the code on the site is really simple, and it’s not any more graphics/memory intensive than it’s been in the last 5 years, you’d think it would run lightning fast today, but I swear when it’s slow, it’s the slowest Its been in a decade.

Maybe I’m being paranoid but I seem to recall a while back there was a lot of talk about if Net Neutrality went away, that the powers that be could make different tiers of speed on the internet. Am I just imagining things to think that has anything to do with it?

Please give me your feedback, discuss.

Thank you,


PS. working on a lot of stuff, I’ll be making a real blog post very soon!

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Have Another Slice of Cherry Pie!

So hey, finally the new Cherry Pie shoot is done!  I think it came out pretty good!

If you compared it with the old version of this outfit, I’d say the new version is way more trashier and truck-stop-waitress sluttier!  The hair is bigger, the skirt is puffier, and this time there’s cute puffy sleeves too!

Oh, and roller skates too, why not?  Of course the big thing was the set I took time over the course of a couple of months to put together.  I had been putting off doing this shoot for a while because there were a few details to work out and a few props that I was still collecting.
Obviously the shoot is not about the set, but the set needs to be expansive so that there’s always something behind me.  Sometimes that means that the details don’t really matter. In retrospect, I really did not need to bother with putting the bistro table on the left and getting a salt and pepper shaker and napkin holder, and a glass dome to put over a cherry pie, which I took a couple hours to bake – when really those things are only visible in a few pictures…  yeah, I know complain complain, again…

None of that is really as important as the performance of the model, which I’m happy to say was pretty good overall.  So what if the set is mostly made out of cardboard and number plates, we all know that’s not really what you’re looking at.

Yeah, and fun with whipped cream too!

Lots of fun with whipped cream, that’s for sure.

And since the cherry pie I (barely) baked came out so messy, I figured go for the whole messy thing all the way.I’m such a clutz trying to wait tables on roller skates, that means sooner or later I’m gonna drop cherry pie all over the floor!  What a mess!!

So I hope you enjoy this shoot as much as I enjoyed making it (and for how long it took to come to fruition!).  The entire set will go up next week on as the April 30th shoot.  And with that, I’m very happy to say that all this hard work has gotten me back up to my impossible-target of 3 shoots per month (lets say every 10 days).  After quite a bit of a dry spell this winter, I think we’re all happy spring is here, and let’s hope I can keep this momentum up!



Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Two shoots done- “Black Swan” and “Blossoming Bouquet”- more to come!

So, yes, I’ve gotten two shoots done this week, though the black strappy outfit shoot (Black Swan) happened in two bursts over a week long period while I was working on other sets and getting other outfits ready.

What happened was about a week ago I shot a bunch of pictures, but wasn’t feeling like I was getting the variety of poses that I wanted, so I quit after shooting about 130 pictures.  I decided I’d look at the pictures and see what I could improve when I resumed shooting.  It turned out that my backlight/rim light did not fire in most of the pictures so it was a good thing that I was able to go back and do more.  I also didn’t like the way the skirt was a bit too big and draping weird off the underwire support under it. It’s kind of hard to describe but if you can imagine the tutu/skirt going horizontal and then being too large for the underwire so that it draped down a few inches, it sort of made it cover a little bit more than I wanted it to.   So I was able to trim the skirt and make it a little tighter and stiffer, and tutu-like.  Here’s the changes, subtle but effective.

Yeah, you can barely see the rim light here (its most noticeable in the strands of blonde hair), and I swear in half the pictures I shot in the second batch, it didn’t go off.  Frustrating damn lights, I swear they are only firing like  half the time, and the light sensors that detect when the other lights are flashing- are in weird places where they can easily not catch the flashes from the other strobes.  Anyway blah blah  blah, complain complain.  Bottom line is that when you self shoot your own pictures, compromises are inevitable.
Aha! In this one you can actually see the rim light doing a little bit.  I wanted it to make the black bow and the tutu skirt pop, but it’s barely doing it.  Anyway, at least in the reshoot, I got some nice sex toy shots and some good sitting/squatting poses.  Every pose can’t be a standing pose, that gets dull pretty quickly.

So I’ve got like 300 pictures to slog through, and with the lighting problems (though sometimes when the strobes failed to flash, it gave some dramatic results), it should be enough to yield a good sized shoot.  However, later that night I powered through and downed another 2 RockStar energy drinks and did this little number, which again, was a “simple” shoot that turned into something gargantuan.

You may recall how my recent Valentine’s Day shoot that I did in March (whoops!) had these really cool sleeves that looked like bouquets.  Well, I liked the idea so much I did it again.  But I needed them to match a pre-existing Big Hat I had made.  So, several trips to the craft and dollar stores in the area cleaned out their stocks of white and light pink fake flowers.  About 37 sticks of hot glue later and a lot of burned fingertips, and the result came out quite nicely indeed.

So this shoot has sorta zipped to the front of the line so I could get it out to more or less line up with Easter weekend, though I’ve gone and called it “Blossoming Bouquet” because that works and it’s not using up any of the other words I’m saving for other shoots with somewhat stronger concepts.  You can imagine that I have a piece of paper with infinite combos of names on it, with really amazing combinations like “Pollyanna Cumdump”. “Bloomin’ Harlot” and “Fuckdoll Junction”.  When one comes up with names like that, they end up driving their own concepts, so I’ll just let your imagination run wild with what those shoots might end up looking like.
So I’m about halfway through editing about 160 chosen pictures for this gallery, but there’s a fetish club night tonight and well, it’d be a shame not to actually wear this outfit out to an actual club, so I’m off to that I think.

So once I get these done, they’ll hit the site pretty rapid fire, plus there’s some video I’ve been sitting on and still a shoot I did with Christian out in Vegas that I haven’t worked on yet (it’s huge, so I really have to trim it down to the cream of the crop).  So yeah, stuff’s in the pipeline and the dam is about to burst.  That’s not to mention that my Cherry Pie redux set is all done and I’ve gone and made the alterations to that outfit, so that shoot in on tap for next week.   Like I said somewhere else, I do plan on doing 2-3 shoots a week in the coming few months so I’ll have a big backlog of content to work on once it gets too hot and I just want to shut myself in a tiny, air conditioned room.  Here’s one more for the road…

See you very soon!

Note- The entire set when up Easter evening, at about 156 pictures.  I ended settling on “Blossoming Bouquet”.  As for the other shoot, for some reason, I keep coming back to “Black Swan” and I think I’m just going to stick with that.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 4 Comments

Be patient, the wheels are turning. It’s Spring!

So, march was a shitty month for me. I got sick a lot (just with whatever cold was going around), and managed to squeeze out one shoot, which was my one-month late Valentine’s Day shoot…. Oops!

I actually wrote a long, agonizing post about it here, which actually took a dark turn.  Then I went through a couple of days of shit at the very end of the momth.  Just bad vibes.  I don’t really want to talk about it too much but when faced with this problem I did the right thing, but the whole experience  was the sort of thing that made me want to reconsider this whole career.    I actually announced on facebook that I was quitting it all, and that no, it wasn’t an April Fool’s Day joke.

Then a few friends helped me out and convinced me not to, and so I deleted a whole bunch of posts (including the one here about March), and then like a sign from above, the next day we got the first day of Spring where the sun came out and it actually felt like Spring.

The last 3 or 4 days have been a whirlwind of working on sets, and preparing outfits for a marathon shooting next 2 months.  You see, April and May are the perfect baby bear months for me working in my studio. It’s not so cold that you have to run the heat all day to get it to 60, and it’s not so hot that you’re melting under the lights.

But I haven’t thrown together all this progress onto a blog post yet.  I’m not sure how many people read this blog, but I know it’s a tiny fraction of like my twitter followers, or my tumblr, facebook or instagram. So I have been posting daily on instagram with behind the scenes stuff,  so I implore all of you to follow me there as it’s easier to update that than this blog.  There IS a wordpress app for my phones but it seems very problematic, and I can’t seem to update this from my phone unless i move pix to my laptop first. Anyway here’s my instagram

It’s a little tricky to get my finished photos censored and posted to it, but when I do, it automatically goes to my twitter, facebook and tumblr, so at the moment it’s my easiest way to get the word out.

So I’m working on sets, for the “Another Slice of Cherry Pie” shoot and then the dungeon set will be the scene for this outfit I made back in January.

I think this outfit, plus blonde hair, with black ballet boots, wrists suspended from the ceiling, could be hot. Not sure if I can get to this level of kinkiness while shooting by myself.  Might need a little assistance.

So, if you’ve been following my instagram (which you should), you may see that I shot a couple of time lapse movies of me working on the Cherry Pie set.   This set got put on the back burner all winter and I’m hoping to get the shoot out of the way pretty soon.

I know this is going to seem crazy, but I’m actually making a pretty crazy goal here, to do 10 shoots a month.  Now, that doesn’t mean 10 shoots a month posted on my site, or 10 shoots a month all edited.  Just shot. It actually takes days to edit the pictures, that only take 2 to 4  hours to shoot.  I figure if I do 2 -3 shoots a week that’s 20 in the next 2 months, almost enough to pretty much tie me over for the rest of the year while I work on finishing other projects like Uranus.

This means that some of the shoots might be crazy brand new ideas and some might be just new spins on old outfits. Here’s a quick primer on what might be on tap pretty soon, depending on when I finish various set pieces.  Of course I mentioned that black ballerina costume, and Cherry Pie redux…

Little filthy sketch i did yesterday to throw some ideas around for what the final shoot might look like.

Also, there’s that blue and white jumpsuit thing I made for Vegas. I was going to shoot in my blue and white room in my house but then decided the dark woodgrain furniture wasn’t going to look good with the outfit, so I’m working up reupholstering this little settee but that will take some time to do.  Actually, other than the tufted part, this is a relatively straightforward reupholstering job.

Thenthen I’m throwing something together on this set, not sure what that outfit’s going to be, but might be a variation of “Flowering Tara

I’m also rearranging some of the rooms in my house which will make it much easier to shoot in the rooms.  Things got kind of lopsided where like my little pink and white barbie doll sewing room, where I often cam from, was also doing triple duty with my old drafting table taking up space, while another bedroom (the one with the woodgrain walls, where I shot “Fur Closet”, “Ski Chalet” and “Goldicocks” ) was virtually not being used for anything but a spare bedroom, with corners largely empty of anything important.

So I’m shuffling things around here, and will make lots of instagram postings because I’m so surrounded by the craziness of my life that sometimes I don’t see how cool it is and how I should be sharing little bits of it with my fans.  Instgram is where it’s at for me now because I can just post little things here and there and not worry too much about them being anything more than little slices of my weird pornstar life.

I’m going to do a lot this month, then I can have a few months to not worry about any new shoots except working on Uranus.  Gonna get shit done this year, dammit.



Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Going Upscale: Two new versions of old shoots added, more on the way!

I  just uploaded two new final output versions of two old shoots.  “Kidskin Corset” from 2003 and “An Exhibitionist in Amsterdam”.

It turned out that I had re-edited Kidskin a few years back, but never uploaded them to the site.  They’re at 1800 pixels in the highest dimension.

For Exhibitionist in Amsterdam (2002), I pushed  it to 2000 pixels, which might have been a stretch considering the source material.    Generally any shoots before August 2003’s  “Here Comes the Bride” have been shot on a variety of cameras but mostly on a crappy 1 megapixel Sony mini-DV video camera on still mode, but there are shoots here and there shot on other photographers’ cameras, as was the case in Amsterdam.   Not all of them will upscale well, but some will.

Oh hey!  Look,  here’s an outtake from Amsterdam where I was reviewing the video footage on that very same Sony mini-DV camera!  Yeah, I do get nostalgic for cameras, especially when it’s the cameras that helped start my career, and liberated me from having to have X-rated picutures on film develop at the local CVS!  (oh btw, this picture was a reject, so it’s not even on the site.  Perhaps someday I will comb through all my photosets and find the best of the worst of the rejects, and release that as a photo set).

I do admit that there’s really no rhyme or reason to which old photsets I’m picking to upscale.  Honestly I ought to just pick a gallery of a specific year, and try to bump it all up to current specs.  That being said, I’ve gone and noticed that over the last year or so, I’ve actually started work upscaling a lot of old material, to lose interst in it on the way.

So I was going through things and I had a bunch of work half done that just needed a little more to finish.   There are a few more almost ready to be re-released – “Cold War Thaw” from 2004, Bonbons from 2002 (this will be an attempt to see just how much quality I can coax out of something so small to begin with), and “Pitstop Cutie” from 2003.  Here are some samples so  you can click on them to see the full size verions.   You might then click on the version resized for your screen to see the full version. I’d like feedback from anyone who uses a computer with a 4k or 5k screen, please let me know if the change is noticable.

I do admit, it’s going to be a challenge to coax high resolution out of Bonbons, but if it works, then the majority of the worst resolution shoots will still have a measured bump in quality.

In most cases, as I go through the orignals, I’m choosing many of the same pictures, so the new versions should roughly have the same quantity as the old ones.  Some might get trimmed down to only the best ones, and some might grow in size. I know Kidskin Corset grew by about 10 shots.  As I go through these old sets with new eyes, I often find I like different pictures than I used to.

As before, the best way to tell if there’s an upscaled shoot is go browse through each year’s gallery, and if you see larger buttons that resemble what you’re used to from the last few years, that means it’s upscaled.

An old button for an old gallery

A new, upscaled gallery

Oh, and it looks like I did about half of the shots for “Santa Baby” from 2006.  That’s my problem, I’m easily bored, and I can’t maintain my interest in re-editing shoots for more than a few days, or even an afternoon.  Sadly, you can’t just take the old smaller finals and upscale them-  There is no magic “enhance” button like you see in Hollywood movies.  I gotta work right from the originals and basically re-do everything.

But what would help is that I know many of you new fans out there have mentioned older shoots that are favorites of yours.  If I knew there was a demand for a particular shoot to get the royal treatment, I’d be happy to have that one move to the top of the list!

So what about it, give me some suggstions!  Right now I’d like to stick to shoots from 2008 and older.  Over the years I slowly upped the resolution on the finals so taking something from 2012 (where my finals were 1500 pix on the largest side) won’t give as dramatic an improvement as ones between the years 2003 and 2008.

I’ll take each one on a case by case basis, but I’d love to hear my fans’ input.  Right now, “Santa Baby” and “Cold War Thaw” are the nearest completion.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, Uncategorized, Upscaled galleries | 8 Comments

Better Late than Never, it’s “Valentine’s Day Every Day”!

So hey, I did it! I had a couple of issues that delayed this shoot, but I got through them, and considered that since I had done most of the work, not to abandon it.

I had hot-glued the roses to the corset, but soon discovered that hot glue did not stick well to vinyl.  A few fell off when I wore the early version of this outfit to the Fetish Fleamarket which was a source of irritation.

I had planned on making the sleeves out of pink vinyl covered with roses, but with the glue not sticking, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around how I was going to make them work.  Finally I figured out that swapping out the vinyl for satin made them stick pretty much permanently.

Well I need not have worried how the sleeves came out, because the came out better than expected! I shot like 300-something pictures, and have edited half of the roughly 200 that I’ll release very soon!

So I’m just letting you know that it’s on it’s way!!  I think it’s one of the hottest versions of this pink haired hentai thing I’m doing.


Posted in New shoot!, Tara's fetish designs, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day fiasco, “Mistress of Submission”, Trans All-Star party and the Fetish Flea

Ah, what’s going on, you might ask?  Well.  Lets see, I do have a lot to cover here because I haven’t updated this blog since early February, or was that still January?

First off, I did work super hard on an outfit for a Valentines Shoot, only for it to sorta fell apart the day of trying to finish everything up, so I moved on to other things for the time being.

It started sometime last year with this erotic concept sketch for a future outfit.  I sorta was into sounding at the time, and I’ve had this fascination with having one long barbell going between two pierced nipples, both of which are things that aren’t happening now, though the idea is pretty hot.   In my drawings I think I’ve been comfortable with making those lips, tits and hips bigger, the bimbo influence is really starting to show through.  In a lot of ways, this idea is a development on “Confection” though maybe simplified and streamlined a bit.  “Confection” was one of those shoots where more is less instead of less is more, and it suffered for it.

I’m also really into the idea of gallons of cum oozing out of a gaping hole too.   Side note, it might be nice to finish this drawing into something a bit more polished.

So of course by the time I actually get my ass in gear on this shoot, it’s less than a week before Valentines Day. I press ahead nonetheless. I would have gotten a little bit of an earlier start but these wonderful pink ballet boots arrived from my wishlist (thanks Josie!), around Feb 9th, and I was waiting to get them before I could pick my color scheme, because there are like 45,000 different kinds of pink out there and I needed to know what pinks I was sticking with.

About a billion trips to Michael’s got all those flowers (and more not pictured).  I was going to start from scratch with a corset, but decided to save time by taking this old pink corset,  as seen last time in “Fierce Fuschia” sometime in 2013.  Even though I like to say that I make all my own corsets, there are a few I have that are made by others.  This one I got way back in 2003 (!) made by Versatile Designs.   But made out of pvc, it had reached the end of it’s life.  If you’ve followed my other social media you might have discovered that I have recently complained about how pvc vinyl has a limited shelf life.  In fact there was some at my local store, and even at $2.99 a yard, I wont touch this stuff, unless for a backdrop.
It’s a shame because I’ve been looking for purple pvc everywhere, yet this stuff will separate the minute you try to stretch it.  And even if you use it in a non stretchy way, it will just rub off on your fingers if you touch it.

I’m not sue if it’s exposure to light or exposure to air, though I’m going to guess light. I actually have some of this same pink stuff (most of this I think you could get at Joann’s about 5 years ago) and used it for outfits like Confection and the material I have has done a bit better because it’s stored in a dark place.

But the rule of thumb is that after about 10 years, most pvc vinyl will fall apart.  Though I’ve had much better luck with thicker, heavier materials.   I’ve actually thrown out a lot of cool colors and old outfits because of that.  There’s a green and black fairy outfit I made with big buttterfly wings, that whole outfit is no more!

Anyway, when you saw this corset in “Fierce Fuschia”, it was on its last legs.  So I re-purposed it by making a new heavier (but not shiny) vinyl outer skin for it. and removing that trim too.  I sorta drafted the pattern completely on the fly.

Well, since  I wasn’t able to visit my PO Box to pick up the shoes until Valentines day itself (we got a big snowstorm around the 9th and I waited a few days to go into Boston).  That day itself was a fiasco, as I had like 3 problems with my car happen all at the same time.  First I was out of washer fluid on my car, and even putting some in revealed that whatever was in there, was frozen solid.   So I just had to keep pulling off to the side of the road, grabbing snow and throwing it at my windshield.  And the salt on the roads was EPIC, you couldn’t get a few miles without having to pull off the road and do it again.

Secondly, my exhaust decided to fall off, and in the worst way possible.  The good way is if it’s dragging behind you, so at the most you just keep driving, make a lot of sparks and ignore gawkwers looking at your pile of shit car..  The Bad Way is that it falls down pointing forward.   Catch that on a pothole or a manhole cover and you basically lose the rest of it in a horrible tangled mess of rusty metal and ill begotten lack of car maintenance.  If you wonder why things get so bad is because it’s winter.  It’s the worst time to crawl under a car and fix anything when there’s snow on the ground.  Or there’s too much snow to get the car into the garage.  Or it’s just cold.  And being cold, I’m less productive in the studio, so I’m making less money so I can’t just spend the hundreds of dollars to have someone else fix it (have you noticed everywhere has a $90/hour labor charge? Fuck, I’m in the wrong business).  And heat costs a bit in the winter, long story short, winter sucks, I’m broker than usual during that season, and I just pray that I make it through without needing a major car repair, or my boiler quitting, or whatever.  Every Damn Winter seems to be a nail biter.

So, back to Valentine’s Day.   So I had some ideas on how to get the exhaust to stay together again (a joint just slipped out).  A tool kit was not present, so tools were bought, which were inadequate to make things tight.  So went to a dry cleaner and got like a bunch of wire coat hangers and put it back together with those.  Seriously, they’re muffler hangers, not coat hangers.

Oh, and the alternator light wouldn’t go out all the way home. But I got my shoes!

So I knew this shoot wasn’t going to be ready by the 14th. I had also done a lot of work on another couple of sets for a bunch more shoots, so I was trying to see if I could bang off two shoots in one night, you know, save on the heat in the studio and only do my makeup once!

But alas!  Things were coming up!  First there was the Fetish Fleamarket in Warwick, RI,  on the weekend of the 18th, and then the Trans All Star Party in Providence on Sunday night the 19th.   The dance party was doing a BDSM theme, so one of my outfits was really just something I threw together in the dominatrix vein.  But I still wanted to finish the Valentines shoot too.

So I worked on the outfit a bit more.


Yeah, I sew on the floor. I never got used to sewing at a table. And yeah, my sewing room always looks like a bomb went off, and it's not unusual to see about 3 or 4 unfinished outfits in a pile somewhere. I still manage to clean it up and cam from here though.

And to trim it off I used these fake roses, in red and pink, though I would have preferred it to be dark pink and light pink, but at this time, I couldn’t really fret about deviations in my intended color scheme!
The basic idea is that the puffy sleeves are going to look like bouquets, but I haven’t quite figured out how to do that.  I just hot glued these roses to the corset, and it didn’t take them long to fall off, and require some tedious, time consuming hand sewing to secure them.
But the idea was coming along good enough, though I was now more and more squeezed for getting this done before the Flea, even if I was already a few days late for Valentine’s day. So, it was onto the set building!
I had this idea of me being on a heart shaped pillow or heart shaped chair somehow, and though I have done similar stuff in the past, nothing I had that already existed was good enough to use, so I started from scratch.  This is when all that foam you’re hoarding comes in handy.

So I spent hours (mind you, this is the day I intended on shooting two shoots) working on this heart shaped pillow, only to come to the conclusion that it looked like crap. Or to me more precise, it sorta looks like the Grinch’s shriveled up lopsided heart.

I thought maybe i could make it tufted, but I soon discovered there was no way to get thread through it (I had no foot long needle and no heavy duty thread).  So I tried putting holes in it with nuts and bolts.
And in each instance, getting a nut and bolt through stuffing, then 2 inch thick dense foam was -at best- something you needed 3 hands to do.  One hand for the nut, one for the bolt, and one to squeeze the pillow together from 6 inches thick to 2 inches thick.

I cried.  I yelled.  I cursed.  I may have also somewhere on social media declared defeat, and that I was done with this.  Like done with ALL of this.   Because whatever I did to this pillow it was looking worse and worse. The more time I spent on it, the worse things got.

Instead, I killed it. I attacked it with utility knife and just gleefully destroyed it.

And started from scratch with a simpler idea.  Now I had blown precious hours on this hopeless tangent, so I knew I wasn’t going to shoot today, but I’d still try.  My improved heart pillow, though foam covered with vinyl stapled to a homosote back, won’t really work like a pillow, but as long as you don’t see the back it’s fine.

But the damage was done.  Even though I threw together a set pretty quickly, it was approaching midnight.  Then I thought, fuck it.  I can still do the other shoot I had planned.  That outfit and set was all ready to go anyway.  Plus I sorta needed to do that shoot since the idea was to make an ad for the Sunday night party, which needed something dominatrix-ish.

I’ve been around professional dominatrixes a lot over the last 15 or so years, and there’s always a story that goes around, about how some stripper, or some ahem, hooker puts on some shiny black thing, and then declares that she’s a domme, and well, all the real doms know she’s just a hooker or a stripper and has no idea about kink whatsoever.  You know exactly the sort of girl I mean.  Sort of a “porn version” of kink, maybe a little bit of a nod to a certain cheesy franchise of movies that make most real kinksters roll their eyes?

Well, that’s the angle I was going for in “Mistress of Submission”.  Sort of like “ooh! handcuffs, what are we going to do with these!”.  And the name, “Mistress of Submission”, means just that. That this airhead blonde bimbo has no fucking clue about kink at all!

Yeah, those aren't like anywhere near authentic handcuffs!

So, I don’t know why I was tearing my eyeballs out trying to either do two shoots or none, when I could easily have done one and had it come out pretty damn good.   I don’t think this is the last we will see of this set, as I can rearrange the equipment around so expect to see a few more variations on this theme in some future shoots.

But in any event, I got my ad out for the Trans All Star Party, and at least that was before the event!

But I have to say, the shoot came out good, considering that it was a B-shoot, and not an A-shoot.  I think the analogy is like in a Star Trek DS9 episode, they always had an A-plot and a B-plot, and well, in this case, the B-plot was way more interesting.  In any event,  I wrapped up that shoot, then took a friend to the airport, and he let me borrow his far for the next week, which was good, as I needed reliable transportation to get to and from the Fetish Flea, which was the next day!

On very little sleep, I attended the Flea. And I wish I had more pictures to show you, but they had a pretty strict no photos policy, where they went so far as to give you little red dot stickers to put over your phone camera lens, and if they saw your phone out without a sticker, they’d seize it.  However, some friends were staying in the hotel, so I did snap some pictures of how the Valentines day outfit was coming out.  It wasn’t my intention to use that red rose bra, that was a last minute addition to this variation as I a: didn’t finish the sleeves, and b: they had a pretty strict policy on boobage and pasties.

I'm pretty sure you were allowed to take selfies in your room, note the red dot sticker moved out of the way

So I had a blast at the flea, but having gotten so little sleep the night before, and also dancing the next night, I forego partying all night and got a little shut eye.  But in general, the flea was what the doctor ordered, some badly needed ego stroking.  Lots of people recognized me and I think I can say that I’ve been in this scene long enough to have earned my place.

btw this thing looks fantastic under a fur coat

So I cruised the vendor floor that Sunday, then popped back home to change for the Trans All Star Party.  And I did pretty well that night, considering that by this point I was sorta just phoning it in.  There was some brief after party, but I did the sensible thing and went home to sleep around 4 am.  Do I have any pictures from that night?  A few I think. Okay, maybe one, and it’s not great.

But I made decent enough money that I could relax a little the following week.  And I slept for about 3 days straight after that weekend.   Then it got really warm, and I distracted by a few other things.  And I thought about going back into the Valentines shoot, though by this point I guess I could say it’s 11 1/2  months early for next year.  There was even an idea of calling it “Discount Valentine”, but I seem to can’t find any candy for sale.

I’m still going to do this shoot, in fact I might backdate it and sorta slot it in before “Mistress of Submission”.

Oh, but what happened to that shoot I did in Vegas in the Louis Vuitton corset?  Well, there was more to that.  In fact, I did a POV scene with Christian XXX in the same outfit.   When Christian shoots his POV scenes, he tends to shoot a small amount of pictures with it, but not really enough for a whole set.  So I did my own ones to bring the total count to a amount that I’d be happy with.

It took Christian a few extra weeks for him to get the pictures to me, so I might be wrapping up editing that shoot as the next offering, then I’ll go back in and finish “Discount Valentine” (I still like that name, even if I don’t have half melted chocolates everywhere).

So, February was a mixed bag.  A lot of half finished stuff.  A lot of drama.  A few breakdowns (and not just car breakdowns).  A bunch more half finished stuff.  And then a really good dancing/stripping night capping off a great fetish play weekend.  And about a week of sleeping.

Then we got some unseasonably warm days (up to 73 degrees in Boston!) and I used that opportunity to try to get my car back on the road, and also some back patio live camming.

All I can say is that I can’t wait for Spring!  When that happens my productivity goes way up, as I don’t have the constant feeling of being too cold keeping me down.   I had a lot of lows earlier this month.  Winter sucks, that’s all there is to say.  There’s nothing quite as depressing as it getting colder every day, and once it starts going the other way, my mood and my activity increases dramatically.

I do have to say, I’m am enjoying some of these selfies I’ve been taking with my new phone.  Which brings me to my next issue..

So, I’ve been updating things regularly on my facebook and tumblr, but not so much on this blog.  Why is that so?  Well, because I’m having a bitch of a time getting pictures off this phone and onto something I can do anything with.  All my computers are macs, this phone is an android.

Connecting the phone to the mac with a USB and using any image capturing app?, No go.  Using “Android File Manager” Nope, doesn’t work for some reason.  However I played with the settings on the phone, I couldn’t get anything to work.  My old iphones, no problem.   And then there’s a wordpress app that supposedly I can update this blog from my phone?  Sure.  but for some reason I couldn’t upload any photos from it either.

In the end, I had to upload from the phone to dropbox, then download from dropbox to my mac, but only one of my macs because dropbox tends to only like one of my macs!  This is almost as stupid of rigimarole I have to go through in order to get my (shot for website) pictures onto instagram. I basically have to email my pictures to myself, after of course, finding any that are PG rated).  Whatever happened to the good old days of computing when you just put files in folders and if you plugged things into your usb, your computer treated them as flash drives?

I swear, the more technology supposedly advances, the more ways engineers find to make things not work with each other.

But in the end I just have to give myself credit for at least posting a really hot shoot.

I’ve got plenty of things to finish up, all those shoots, a few that have sets built, and some artwork commisions as well.  Anyway, by the time I write this, it’s now March, but let’s just call it February 29th, February 30th, and February 31st.




Posted in Behind the Scenes, Furs, My life, New shoot!, stripping, Tara's drawings, Tara's fetish designs, Uncategorized, Webcamming | 4 Comments