What a difference a month makes… but… every silver lining has a cloud.

So, a little over a month ago I was in a pretty crappy place, and I even said some crap on social media about basically walking away from the business.

And then I got my shit together and came up with three shoots, Black Swan, Blossoming Bouquet and Another Slice of Cherry Pie.  Lets bask in their beauty again because I’m not sure when things will calm down and I can move on to whatever is next…

So I had these three shoots come out every 10 days like what had always been my intent on my site (updates on the 10th, 20th and 30th of every month), but rarely happens because life gets in the way.

And I wish the rest of the focus of this post was about the awesome things I have coming up, but it won’t be.  So allow me to touch briefly upon some more of the good news before I move on to the bad news.

So I don’t quite yet know if getting back to the three shoots a month routine has a tangible effect on my website income and memberships, but I can’t imagine it would make them worse. And I did do a pretty good job of hyping the shoots on social media and basically  getting my visibility up there.    It may (or may not) have also just improved my karma in the grand scheme of things.

So, at the end of the month was my birthday (April 28th) and I am so very thankful that so many fans wished me a happy birthday and gifted me so many things off my Amazon Wish List.   So many things that I think my wishlist is depleted and I’ll have to go and go add many things to that again.

But I think maybe there was something working on another level here too, and that’s what I mean when I speak of karma.    You see, I was not planning on going to Fetish Factory’s Anniversary Weekend event in Florida, which is in Ft Lauderdale on Memorial Day weekend.  Way back in December the host hotel had filled up, and since they do a hotel takeover, it’s really not the same if you can’t get into the host hotel.

So I had given up on that, and besides, I had a crappy winter, so I didn’t really have the money.  Usually I get hit with a big tax  bill in April, so the springtime is often a squeaker while I get back to productivity.

But then a friend who was going to FF told me about another mutual friend who was seeking  a hotel roommate for the event.  Would I like to go?  Well, YES, as  long as i can still secure a ticket to the event and secure a plane ticket before they become too expensive.

Then I had my new accountant do my taxes.  For some reason (and maybe this reason is not a good one , but more on that later), I was going to get a refund this year.  And then around my birthday, not only did I get some wonderful gifts off my wish list, but a few fans sent me some unexpected money orders too.

So, it’s like the universe was telling me, YES TARA GO TO FLORIDA, here’s what you need to go.  Another friend going to the event had a pass already.  Unexpected windfall from fans,  And a tax return to boot.  And oh, 3 shoots out this month so that’ll probably keep the members happy (well, as long as I can resolve the server issues, which may or may not be in the process of  being fixed as I write this).

So yes, I’m going to Florida.  Which maybe that seems like a frivolous vacation for most of you, but for me it’s very important to keep my visibility in this scene, because I’m in this scene as a career, and I’m in it for a long haul.  My hope is that in a few years or so, I’ll be enough of a presence in the fetish scene that maybe, maybe I can be emceeing events and performing at more of them.  There’s a lot of evidence to support that the longer I stay in this, the more my cache grows, the bigger my legend becomes.  But enough about me, lets talk about me for a while?

Okay okay, you get the picture.

On a smaller scale, This coming Sunday, May 7th, I’ll be headlining at the Trans AllStar party at Club EGO in Providence, like I have several times before.

I kind of got onboard with this a little late (like a week before it’s actually happening).  And if you’re wondering why  you’re only hearing about it now, well, there’s a reason for that too.

Okay, everything that you read in this blog post before the EGO flyer above, I wrote like 3 days ago.  Actually, I was going through some server issues and my server guys moved the entire site over to another server at the same time I was posting the original blog post.

See how the title of this is  that every silver lining has a cloud?  Well, apparently, the entire second half (the bad news) vanished in the either in the server move.

What that second half was about is (and I’m going to see if I can retrieve it from the server guys tomorrow during business hours) was pretty simple, and I don’t really want to rewrite it.

Basically, my taxes are being audited by the state. (not the IRS).  It’s a nightmare, of sorts, though i really haven’t done anything wrong.  Actually, it might be a blessing in disquise that the original second half of this blog post vanished, as it was mainly bitching, whining and complaining.  Suffice to say I am going to be spending a bit of time in the next week or so building up a case to the tax office showing them where I spend my money.  And I used to be coy about my business affairs with them, just out of respect that I doubt that they want to have to view porn.  Well no more!  They want to see where I spend my money, they’re gonna have to see, regardless of if they need to wash their eyes out with bleach afterwards.

So yeah, that’s what I’m going through right now. It’s sorta taken the highest priority and if I’m “phoning in” my performance tonight, so be it. I think me “phoning it in” is probably more ambitious than other people’s Big Productions.



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One Response to What a difference a month makes… but… every silver lining has a cloud.

  1. Jake says:


    Gawd yer so hot! I just wanna swoop down and rescue you from all that vexes you.


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