I get asked this often while at the Satin Doll. Not that it’s a dump- I actually like the decor of the place, and I find it’s cozy, and sleazy in a boudoir-ish way (though IMHO they could push that further).
Still, I find that when I work there, about once a week I get someone who recognizes me, or who has come just to see me. Yeah, I like that.
But sometimes (and this is the most amusing) I get guys who meet me, and we chat a bit. I introduce myself as Tara. Either after some time in conversation, or after I divulge that I’m “..Tara Emory, check me out on the internet..”, they’re stunned to meet me (having heard of me and thinking I’m far too big to be in that place, and even moreso, some guys completely do not believe it’s me, forcing me to actually whip out my phone and show them things like behind-the-scenes shots of my photosets and outfits.
Famously years back (and this was like maybe 2005) I was accused of impersonating myself when I randomly stopped at Jacques Cabaret in Boston. I believe the guy I met was like “You know who you look like? You look like Tara Emory”. To which I replied “Well, that’s because I am Tara Emory”, and well, they didn’t believe me.
Apparently people either think I’m famous, or they haven’t heard of me at all. There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground though. It’s very strange. And yes, I will admit that the narcissist in me gets her ego stroked when I am recognized. If I’m having a shitty week where no one recognizes me, it affects everything, and I’ve been through some rough patches the last few years where I’ve felt like I was washed up or god, time to pack it all up and fade away or whatever.
But anyway, back to the Satin Doll. What am I doing in a sleazy place like this? Aren’t I better than this? Well for everything there is a reason.
What I’m doing is getting back to the basics of feeling sexy, and (pardon the pun) stripping down my act to the bare bones before I go and add all the crazy costumes and props. Its a sound strategy, I hope.
You see, back a few years back I decided burlesque performances was the logical conclusion of my live appearances in my signature outfits. I recall going to substandard fetish events in amazing outfits and being the best dressed there, even blowing away whatever performances were going on at the venue. It seemed like a better thing to do was to save that amazingness for a show. So I did shows in LA, Montreal, Jamacia, etc. etc. I had great ideas and how shall we put it- very animated and kinetic props.
In Jamacia, here you can see my practicing my lack of eye contact with the audience..
And not to say that each performance was a train wreck but I felt that I was certainly putting the cart before the horse, trying to make a production out of mostly my outfits and my concepts and my reputation, while seeming pretty shaky on stage. I had ambitious plans but in most cases I felt the excecution left a lot to be desired.
Look at the audience Tara!!!!!!
At first I assumed this was because I was too old, or not athletic enough and I couldn’t help being insulted just a tad bit when I’d meet a 21 year old kid who was “doing burlesque for 10 months” and declared herself an “expert”. Okay, fine, so I can’t do backflips and I’m no contortionist. But I knew I had something if only I could perfect it.
So yeah, this, but better- is the goal.
And then this gig came up at the Satin Doll. I’ve always dreamed of pole dancing and stripping and lap dancing, and even though it took some oh, how shall we say it – setting my dignity off to the side- in order to give complete strangers lap dances, it appealed to a certain dark and dirty part of my psyche. But in the back of my mind I knew I could perfect my stage dancing skills and stage presence most of all.
And my first night was a terrific ego boost. I realized I WAS in good physical condition, and that I DID have great stage presence, and I have things about my personality that draw people in and bring them right to the stage. The pole dancing has done wonders to my physique and while I won’t pretend that I have the flexibility that a teenage girl would have, I’m nowhere as bad as I thought I was. Also, once I found the right music to dance to, it made all the difference in the world.
Plus, my lap dancing skills have improved and damn, I’ve got my cooing in your ear and pornstar squeals own pat. I can’t wait for those inevitable (ahem, hardcore)porn videos that I will likely do later this year because yeah, I got it, I still got it, and even better, I probably have got more of it now more than I did before, because in so many ways, I have been perfecting this for 15 years. With porn, people assume you’re washed up when you hit 21, but I’m here to tell you there are skills of seduction that you can only learn over time and with experience. That might make me officially a “cougar”, hey, whatever. When I was growing up the women I was attracted to the most were in their late 30′s and 40′s and rather commanding and in charge of their lives and careers, not annoying bubbly 19 year old airheads concerned with their phones and thinking everything will come to them just because they are pretty.
Ah, well, my strange relationship with “bimbofication” is a topic for a whole other blog post, but I’ll stick to the subject for now.
To put it more simply, I’ve been taking a crash course on the basics of sexy dance, and also making a little bit of money off it at the same time, which really came in handy in a jam. I’m still not quite out of that financial jam yet, but I’m getting on top of it.
Oh, and yeah, BEWBS. I can’t underplay how much my new TITS have also helped my confidence. They are wonderful and I’m so glad I have done them. I didn’t raise quite enough that I needed for them, so I had to finance the rest, but you could also say that these BOOBYLONS have paid for themselves.
Life is always better in DD's. Well in my business it can only help.
All this means that I’m actively looking to re-expand my burlesque career and general career as a transsexual model and personality. The hard part is finding the time from shoots and this gig to find out where to shop my act around to. I am literally a one person show, and I have never had a manager or someone else to help me (well, I have had offers, but usually from unqualified persons).
I will be very actively exploring all avenues. Right now my spring appearances include the Tranny Strip NYC on March 22nd, and some other venues that are up in the air a bit.
Yes, copy and repost this flyer!
I’m also debating as to – in the search for more venues – wether I embrace the drag club culture and wether they would find me a draw. It’s a double edged sword because as a transwoman wanting to be accepted as a sexy female, most of the time drag isn’t sexy. But at the same time I understand that a lot of my fan base has overlap, and also since I have an emphasis on showgirlishness (if that’s a word) and outfits, it might not be a bad route to explore. Plus there are far, far more gay and drag clubs out there than TS stripclubs or burlesque clubs open to TS performers.
Because you know this will go over well in that scene.
So I have a lot of options open and I’m just going to go for them all and see what works! So I’m very open to suggestions as to venues in all parts of the country, and I’ll start making some calls and sending some emails!