Two shoots done- “Black Swan” and “Blossoming Bouquet”- more to come!

So, yes, I’ve gotten two shoots done this week, though the black strappy outfit shoot (Black Swan) happened in two bursts over a week long period while I was working on other sets and getting other outfits ready.

What happened was about a week ago I shot a bunch of pictures, but wasn’t feeling like I was getting the variety of poses that I wanted, so I quit after shooting about 130 pictures.  I decided I’d look at the pictures and see what I could improve when I resumed shooting.  It turned out that my backlight/rim light did not fire in most of the pictures so it was a good thing that I was able to go back and do more.  I also didn’t like the way the skirt was a bit too big and draping weird off the underwire support under it. It’s kind of hard to describe but if you can imagine the tutu/skirt going horizontal and then being too large for the underwire so that it draped down a few inches, it sort of made it cover a little bit more than I wanted it to.   So I was able to trim the skirt and make it a little tighter and stiffer, and tutu-like.  Here’s the changes, subtle but effective.

Yeah, you can barely see the rim light here (its most noticeable in the strands of blonde hair), and I swear in half the pictures I shot in the second batch, it didn’t go off.  Frustrating damn lights, I swear they are only firing like  half the time, and the light sensors that detect when the other lights are flashing- are in weird places where they can easily not catch the flashes from the other strobes.  Anyway blah blah  blah, complain complain.  Bottom line is that when you self shoot your own pictures, compromises are inevitable.
Aha! In this one you can actually see the rim light doing a little bit.  I wanted it to make the black bow and the tutu skirt pop, but it’s barely doing it.  Anyway, at least in the reshoot, I got some nice sex toy shots and some good sitting/squatting poses.  Every pose can’t be a standing pose, that gets dull pretty quickly.

So I’ve got like 300 pictures to slog through, and with the lighting problems (though sometimes when the strobes failed to flash, it gave some dramatic results), it should be enough to yield a good sized shoot.  However, later that night I powered through and downed another 2 RockStar energy drinks and did this little number, which again, was a “simple” shoot that turned into something gargantuan.

You may recall how my recent Valentine’s Day shoot that I did in March (whoops!) had these really cool sleeves that looked like bouquets.  Well, I liked the idea so much I did it again.  But I needed them to match a pre-existing Big Hat I had made.  So, several trips to the craft and dollar stores in the area cleaned out their stocks of white and light pink fake flowers.  About 37 sticks of hot glue later and a lot of burned fingertips, and the result came out quite nicely indeed.

So this shoot has sorta zipped to the front of the line so I could get it out to more or less line up with Easter weekend, though I’ve gone and called it “Blossoming Bouquet” because that works and it’s not using up any of the other words I’m saving for other shoots with somewhat stronger concepts.  You can imagine that I have a piece of paper with infinite combos of names on it, with really amazing combinations like “Pollyanna Cumdump”. “Bloomin’ Harlot” and “Fuckdoll Junction”.  When one comes up with names like that, they end up driving their own concepts, so I’ll just let your imagination run wild with what those shoots might end up looking like.
So I’m about halfway through editing about 160 chosen pictures for this gallery, but there’s a fetish club night tonight and well, it’d be a shame not to actually wear this outfit out to an actual club, so I’m off to that I think.

So once I get these done, they’ll hit the site pretty rapid fire, plus there’s some video I’ve been sitting on and still a shoot I did with Christian out in Vegas that I haven’t worked on yet (it’s huge, so I really have to trim it down to the cream of the crop).  So yeah, stuff’s in the pipeline and the dam is about to burst.  That’s not to mention that my Cherry Pie redux set is all done and I’ve gone and made the alterations to that outfit, so that shoot in on tap for next week.   Like I said somewhere else, I do plan on doing 2-3 shoots a week in the coming few months so I’ll have a big backlog of content to work on once it gets too hot and I just want to shut myself in a tiny, air conditioned room.  Here’s one more for the road…

See you very soon!

Note- The entire set when up Easter evening, at about 156 pictures.  I ended settling on “Blossoming Bouquet”.  As for the other shoot, for some reason, I keep coming back to “Black Swan” and I think I’m just going to stick with that.

 

Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 3 Comments

Be patient, the wheels are turning. It’s Spring!

So, march was a shitty month for me. I got sick a lot (just with whatever cold was going around), and managed to squeeze out one shoot, which was my one-month late Valentine’s Day shoot…. Oops!

I actually wrote a long, agonizing post about it here, which actually took a dark turn.  Then I went through a couple of days of shit at the very end of the momth.  Just bad vibes.  I don’t really want to talk about it too much but when faced with this problem I did the right thing, but the whole experience  was the sort of thing that made me want to reconsider this whole career.    I actually announced on facebook that I was quitting it all, and that no, it wasn’t an April Fool’s Day joke.

Then a few friends helped me out and convinced me not to, and so I deleted a whole bunch of posts (including the one here about March), and then like a sign from above, the next day we got the first day of Spring where the sun came out and it actually felt like Spring.

The last 3 or 4 days have been a whirlwind of working on sets, and preparing outfits for a marathon shooting next 2 months.  You see, April and May are the perfect baby bear months for me working in my studio. It’s not so cold that you have to run the heat all day to get it to 60, and it’s not so hot that you’re melting under the lights.

But I haven’t thrown together all this progress onto a blog post yet.  I’m not sure how many people read this blog, but I know it’s a tiny fraction of like my twitter followers, or my tumblr, facebook or instagram. So I have been posting daily on instagram with behind the scenes stuff,  so I implore all of you to follow me there as it’s easier to update that than this blog.  There IS a wordpress app for my phones but it seems very problematic, and I can’t seem to update this from my phone unless i move pix to my laptop first. Anyway here’s my instagram

https://www.instagram.com/taraemory/

It’s a little tricky to get my finished photos censored and posted to it, but when I do, it automatically goes to my twitter, facebook and tumblr, so at the moment it’s my easiest way to get the word out.

So I’m working on sets, for the “Another Slice of Cherry Pie” shoot and then the dungeon set will be the scene for this outfit I made back in January.

I think this outfit, plus blonde hair, with black ballet boots, wrists suspended from the ceiling, could be hot. Not sure if I can get to this level of kinkiness while shooting by myself.  Might need a little assistance.

So, if you’ve been following my instagram (which you should), you may see that I shot a couple of time lapse movies of me working on the Cherry Pie set.   This set got put on the back burner all winter and I’m hoping to get the shoot out of the way pretty soon.

I know this is going to seem crazy, but I’m actually making a pretty crazy goal here, to do 10 shoots a month.  Now, that doesn’t mean 10 shoots a month posted on my site, or 10 shoots a month all edited.  Just shot. It actually takes days to edit the pictures, that only take 2 to 4  hours to shoot.  I figure if I do 2 -3 shoots a week that’s 20 in the next 2 months, almost enough to pretty much tie me over for the rest of the year while I work on finishing other projects like Uranus.

This means that some of the shoots might be crazy brand new ideas and some might be just new spins on old outfits. Here’s a quick primer on what might be on tap pretty soon, depending on when I finish various set pieces.  Of course I mentioned that black ballerina costume, and Cherry Pie redux…

Little filthy sketch i did yesterday to throw some ideas around for what the final shoot might look like.

Also, there’s that blue and white jumpsuit thing I made for Vegas. I was going to shoot in my blue and white room in my house but then decided the dark woodgrain furniture wasn’t going to look good with the outfit, so I’m working up reupholstering this little settee but that will take some time to do.  Actually, other than the tufted part, this is a relatively straightforward reupholstering job.

Thenthen I’m throwing something together on this set, not sure what that outfit’s going to be, but might be a variation of “Flowering Tara

I’m also rearranging some of the rooms in my house which will make it much easier to shoot in the rooms.  Things got kind of lopsided where like my little pink and white barbie doll sewing room, where I often cam from, was also doing triple duty with my old drafting table taking up space, while another bedroom (the one with the woodgrain walls, where I shot “Fur Closet”, “Ski Chalet” and “Goldicocks” ) was virtually not being used for anything but a spare bedroom, with corners largely empty of anything important.

So I’m shuffling things around here, and will make lots of instagram postings because I’m so surrounded by the craziness of my life that sometimes I don’t see how cool it is and how I should be sharing little bits of it with my fans.  Instgram is where it’s at for me now because I can just post little things here and there and not worry too much about them being anything more than little slices of my weird pornstar life.

I’m going to do a lot this month, then I can have a few months to not worry about any new shoots except working on Uranus.  Gonna get shit done this year, dammit.

 

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Going Upscale: Two new versions of old shoots added, more on the way!

I  just uploaded two new final output versions of two old shoots.  “Kidskin Corset” from 2003 and “An Exhibitionist in Amsterdam”.

It turned out that I had re-edited Kidskin a few years back, but never uploaded them to the site.  They’re at 1800 pixels in the highest dimension.

For Exhibitionist in Amsterdam (2002), I pushed  it to 2000 pixels, which might have been a stretch considering the source material.    Generally any shoots before August 2003′s  “Here Comes the Bride” have been shot on a variety of cameras but mostly on a crappy 1 megapixel Sony mini-DV video camera on still mode, but there are shoots here and there shot on other photographers’ cameras, as was the case in Amsterdam.   Not all of them will upscale well, but some will.

Oh hey!  Look,  here’s an outtake from Amsterdam where I was reviewing the video footage on that very same Sony mini-DV camera!  Yeah, I do get nostalgic for cameras, especially when it’s the cameras that helped start my career, and liberated me from having to have X-rated picutures on film develop at the local CVS!  (oh btw, this picture was a reject, so it’s not even on the site.  Perhaps someday I will comb through all my photosets and find the best of the worst of the rejects, and release that as a photo set).

I do admit that there’s really no rhyme or reason to which old photsets I’m picking to upscale.  Honestly I ought to just pick a gallery of a specific year, and try to bump it all up to current specs.  That being said, I’ve gone and noticed that over the last year or so, I’ve actually started work upscaling a lot of old material, to lose interst in it on the way.

So I was going through things and I had a bunch of work half done that just needed a little more to finish.   There are a few more almost ready to be re-released – “Cold War Thaw” from 2004, Bonbons from 2002 (this will be an attempt to see just how much quality I can coax out of something so small to begin with), and “Pitstop Cutie” from 2003.  Here are some samples so  you can click on them to see the full size verions.   You might then click on the version resized for your screen to see the full version. I’d like feedback from anyone who uses a computer with a 4k or 5k screen, please let me know if the change is noticable.

I do admit, it’s going to be a challenge to coax high resolution out of Bonbons, but if it works, then the majority of the worst resolution shoots will still have a measured bump in quality.

In most cases, as I go through the orignals, I’m choosing many of the same pictures, so the new versions should roughly have the same quantity as the old ones.  Some might get trimmed down to only the best ones, and some might grow in size. I know Kidskin Corset grew by about 10 shots.  As I go through these old sets with new eyes, I often find I like different pictures than I used to.

As before, the best way to tell if there’s an upscaled shoot is go browse through each year’s gallery, and if you see larger buttons that resemble what you’re used to from the last few years, that means it’s upscaled.

An old button for an old gallery

A new, upscaled gallery

Oh, and it looks like I did about half of the shots for “Santa Baby” from 2006.  That’s my problem, I’m easily bored, and I can’t maintain my interest in re-editing shoots for more than a few days, or even an afternoon.  Sadly, you can’t just take the old smaller finals and upscale them-  There is no magic “enhance” button like you see in Hollywood movies.  I gotta work right from the originals and basically re-do everything.

But what would help is that I know many of you new fans out there have mentioned older shoots that are favorites of yours.  If I knew there was a demand for a particular shoot to get the royal treatment, I’d be happy to have that one move to the top of the list!

So what about it, give me some suggstions!  Right now I’d like to stick to shoots from 2008 and older.  Over the years I slowly upped the resolution on the finals so taking something from 2012 (where my finals were 1500 pix on the largest side) won’t give as dramatic an improvement as ones between the years 2003 and 2008.

I’ll take each one on a case by case basis, but I’d love to hear my fans’ input.  Right now, “Santa Baby” and “Cold War Thaw” are the nearest completion.

-Tara

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Uncategorized, Upscaled galleries | 8 Comments

Better Late than Never, it’s “Valentine’s Day Every Day”!

So hey, I did it! I had a couple of issues that delayed this shoot, but I got through them, and considered that since I had done most of the work, not to abandon it.

I had hot-glued the roses to the corset, but soon discovered that hot glue did not stick well to vinyl.  A few fell off when I wore the early version of this outfit to the Fetish Fleamarket which was a source of irritation.

I had planned on making the sleeves out of pink vinyl covered with roses, but with the glue not sticking, I couldn’t quite wrap my head around how I was going to make them work.  Finally I figured out that swapping out the vinyl for satin made them stick pretty much permanently.

Well I need not have worried how the sleeves came out, because the came out better than expected! I shot like 300-something pictures, and have edited half of the roughly 200 that I’ll release very soon!

So I’m just letting you know that it’s on it’s way!!  I think it’s one of the hottest versions of this pink haired hentai thing I’m doing.

-Tara

Posted in New shoot!, Tara's fetish designs, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Valentine’s Day fiasco, “Mistress of Submission”, Trans All-Star party and the Fetish Flea

Ah, what’s going on, you might ask?  Well.  Lets see, I do have a lot to cover here because I haven’t updated this blog since early February, or was that still January?

First off, I did work super hard on an outfit for a Valentines Shoot, only for it to sorta fell apart the day of trying to finish everything up, so I moved on to other things for the time being.

It started sometime last year with this erotic concept sketch for a future outfit.  I sorta was into sounding at the time, and I’ve had this fascination with having one long barbell going between two pierced nipples, both of which are things that aren’t happening now, though the idea is pretty hot.   In my drawings I think I’ve been comfortable with making those lips, tits and hips bigger, the bimbo influence is really starting to show through.  In a lot of ways, this idea is a development on “Confection” though maybe simplified and streamlined a bit.  “Confection” was one of those shoots where more is less instead of less is more, and it suffered for it.

I’m also really into the idea of gallons of cum oozing out of a gaping hole too.   Side note, it might be nice to finish this drawing into something a bit more polished.

So of course by the time I actually get my ass in gear on this shoot, it’s less than a week before Valentines Day. I press ahead nonetheless. I would have gotten a little bit of an earlier start but these wonderful pink ballet boots arrived from my wishlist (thanks Josie!), around Feb 9th, and I was waiting to get them before I could pick my color scheme, because there are like 45,000 different kinds of pink out there and I needed to know what pinks I was sticking with.

About a billion trips to Michael’s got all those flowers (and more not pictured).  I was going to start from scratch with a corset, but decided to save time by taking this old pink corset,  as seen last time in “Fierce Fuschia” sometime in 2013.  Even though I like to say that I make all my own corsets, there are a few I have that are made by others.  This one I got way back in 2003 (!) made by Versatile Designs.   But made out of pvc, it had reached the end of it’s life.  If you’ve followed my other social media you might have discovered that I have recently complained about how pvc vinyl has a limited shelf life.  In fact there was some at my local store, and even at $2.99 a yard, I wont touch this stuff, unless for a backdrop.
It’s a shame because I’ve been looking for purple pvc everywhere, yet this stuff will separate the minute you try to stretch it.  And even if you use it in a non stretchy way, it will just rub off on your fingers if you touch it.

I’m not sue if it’s exposure to light or exposure to air, though I’m going to guess light. I actually have some of this same pink stuff (most of this I think you could get at Joann’s about 5 years ago) and used it for outfits like Confection and the material I have has done a bit better because it’s stored in a dark place.

But the rule of thumb is that after about 10 years, most pvc vinyl will fall apart.  Though I’ve had much better luck with thicker, heavier materials.   I’ve actually thrown out a lot of cool colors and old outfits because of that.  There’s a green and black fairy outfit I made with big buttterfly wings, that whole outfit is no more!

Anyway, when you saw this corset in “Fierce Fuschia”, it was on its last legs.  So I re-purposed it by making a new heavier (but not shiny) vinyl outer skin for it. and removing that trim too.  I sorta drafted the pattern completely on the fly.

Well, since  I wasn’t able to visit my PO Box to pick up the shoes until Valentines day itself (we got a big snowstorm around the 9th and I waited a few days to go into Boston).  That day itself was a fiasco, as I had like 3 problems with my car happen all at the same time.  First I was out of washer fluid on my car, and even putting some in revealed that whatever was in there, was frozen solid.   So I just had to keep pulling off to the side of the road, grabbing snow and throwing it at my windshield.  And the salt on the roads was EPIC, you couldn’t get a few miles without having to pull off the road and do it again.

Secondly, my exhaust decided to fall off, and in the worst way possible.  The good way is if it’s dragging behind you, so at the most you just keep driving, make a lot of sparks and ignore gawkwers looking at your pile of shit car..  The Bad Way is that it falls down pointing forward.   Catch that on a pothole or a manhole cover and you basically lose the rest of it in a horrible tangled mess of rusty metal and ill begotten lack of car maintenance.  If you wonder why things get so bad is because it’s winter.  It’s the worst time to crawl under a car and fix anything when there’s snow on the ground.  Or there’s too much snow to get the car into the garage.  Or it’s just cold.  And being cold, I’m less productive in the studio, so I’m making less money so I can’t just spend the hundreds of dollars to have someone else fix it (have you noticed everywhere has a $90/hour labor charge? Fuck, I’m in the wrong business).  And heat costs a bit in the winter, long story short, winter sucks, I’m broker than usual during that season, and I just pray that I make it through without needing a major car repair, or my boiler quitting, or whatever.  Every Damn Winter seems to be a nail biter.

So, back to Valentine’s Day.   So I had some ideas on how to get the exhaust to stay together again (a joint just slipped out).  A tool kit was not present, so tools were bought, which were inadequate to make things tight.  So went to a dry cleaner and got like a bunch of wire coat hangers and put it back together with those.  Seriously, they’re muffler hangers, not coat hangers.

Oh, and the alternator light wouldn’t go out all the way home. But I got my shoes!

So I knew this shoot wasn’t going to be ready by the 14th. I had also done a lot of work on another couple of sets for a bunch more shoots, so I was trying to see if I could bang off two shoots in one night, you know, save on the heat in the studio and only do my makeup once!

But alas!  Things were coming up!  First there was the Fetish Fleamarket in Warwick, RI,  on the weekend of the 18th, and then the Trans All Star Party in Providence on Sunday night the 19th.   The dance party was doing a BDSM theme, so one of my outfits was really just something I threw together in the dominatrix vein.  But I still wanted to finish the Valentines shoot too.

So I worked on the outfit a bit more.

 

Yeah, I sew on the floor. I never got used to sewing at a table. And yeah, my sewing room always looks like a bomb went off, and it's not unusual to see about 3 or 4 unfinished outfits in a pile somewhere. I still manage to clean it up and cam from here though.

And to trim it off I used these fake roses, in red and pink, though I would have preferred it to be dark pink and light pink, but at this time, I couldn’t really fret about deviations in my intended color scheme!
The basic idea is that the puffy sleeves are going to look like bouquets, but I haven’t quite figured out how to do that.  I just hot glued these roses to the corset, and it didn’t take them long to fall off, and require some tedious, time consuming hand sewing to secure them.
But the idea was coming along good enough, though I was now more and more squeezed for getting this done before the Flea, even if I was already a few days late for Valentine’s day. So, it was onto the set building!
I had this idea of me being on a heart shaped pillow or heart shaped chair somehow, and though I have done similar stuff in the past, nothing I had that already existed was good enough to use, so I started from scratch.  This is when all that foam you’re hoarding comes in handy.

So I spent hours (mind you, this is the day I intended on shooting two shoots) working on this heart shaped pillow, only to come to the conclusion that it looked like crap. Or to me more precise, it sorta looks like the Grinch’s shriveled up lopsided heart.

I thought maybe i could make it tufted, but I soon discovered there was no way to get thread through it (I had no foot long needle and no heavy duty thread).  So I tried putting holes in it with nuts and bolts.
And in each instance, getting a nut and bolt through stuffing, then 2 inch thick dense foam was -at best- something you needed 3 hands to do.  One hand for the nut, one for the bolt, and one to squeeze the pillow together from 6 inches thick to 2 inches thick.

I cried.  I yelled.  I cursed.  I may have also somewhere on social media declared defeat, and that I was done with this.  Like done with ALL of this.   Because whatever I did to this pillow it was looking worse and worse. The more time I spent on it, the worse things got.

Instead, I killed it. I attacked it with utility knife and just gleefully destroyed it.

And started from scratch with a simpler idea.  Now I had blown precious hours on this hopeless tangent, so I knew I wasn’t going to shoot today, but I’d still try.  My improved heart pillow, though foam covered with vinyl stapled to a homosote back, won’t really work like a pillow, but as long as you don’t see the back it’s fine.

But the damage was done.  Even though I threw together a set pretty quickly, it was approaching midnight.  Then I thought, fuck it.  I can still do the other shoot I had planned.  That outfit and set was all ready to go anyway.  Plus I sorta needed to do that shoot since the idea was to make an ad for the Sunday night party, which needed something dominatrix-ish.

I’ve been around professional dominatrixes a lot over the last 15 or so years, and there’s always a story that goes around, about how some stripper, or some ahem, hooker puts on some shiny black thing, and then declares that she’s a domme, and well, all the real doms know she’s just a hooker or a stripper and has no idea about kink whatsoever.  You know exactly the sort of girl I mean.  Sort of a “porn version” of kink, maybe a little bit of a nod to a certain cheesy franchise of movies that make most real kinksters roll their eyes?


Well, that’s the angle I was going for in “Mistress of Submission”.  Sort of like “ooh! handcuffs, what are we going to do with these!”.  And the name, “Mistress of Submission”, means just that. That this airhead blonde bimbo has no fucking clue about kink at all!

Yeah, those aren't like anywhere near authentic handcuffs!

So, I don’t know why I was tearing my eyeballs out trying to either do two shoots or none, when I could easily have done one and had it come out pretty damn good.   I don’t think this is the last we will see of this set, as I can rearrange the equipment around so expect to see a few more variations on this theme in some future shoots.

But in any event, I got my ad out for the Trans All Star Party, and at least that was before the event!

But I have to say, the shoot came out good, considering that it was a B-shoot, and not an A-shoot.  I think the analogy is like in a Star Trek DS9 episode, they always had an A-plot and a B-plot, and well, in this case, the B-plot was way more interesting.  In any event,  I wrapped up that shoot, then took a friend to the airport, and he let me borrow his far for the next week, which was good, as I needed reliable transportation to get to and from the Fetish Flea, which was the next day!

On very little sleep, I attended the Flea. And I wish I had more pictures to show you, but they had a pretty strict no photos policy, where they went so far as to give you little red dot stickers to put over your phone camera lens, and if they saw your phone out without a sticker, they’d seize it.  However, some friends were staying in the hotel, so I did snap some pictures of how the Valentines day outfit was coming out.  It wasn’t my intention to use that red rose bra, that was a last minute addition to this variation as I a: didn’t finish the sleeves, and b: they had a pretty strict policy on boobage and pasties.

I'm pretty sure you were allowed to take selfies in your room, note the red dot sticker moved out of the way

So I had a blast at the flea, but having gotten so little sleep the night before, and also dancing the next night, I forego partying all night and got a little shut eye.  But in general, the flea was what the doctor ordered, some badly needed ego stroking.  Lots of people recognized me and I think I can say that I’ve been in this scene long enough to have earned my place.

btw this thing looks fantastic under a fur coat

So I cruised the vendor floor that Sunday, then popped back home to change for the Trans All Star Party.  And I did pretty well that night, considering that by this point I was sorta just phoning it in.  There was some brief after party, but I did the sensible thing and went home to sleep around 4 am.  Do I have any pictures from that night?  A few I think. Okay, maybe one, and it’s not great.


But I made decent enough money that I could relax a little the following week.  And I slept for about 3 days straight after that weekend.   Then it got really warm, and I distracted by a few other things.  And I thought about going back into the Valentines shoot, though by this point I guess I could say it’s 11 1/2  months early for next year.  There was even an idea of calling it “Discount Valentine”, but I seem to can’t find any candy for sale.

I’m still going to do this shoot, in fact I might backdate it and sorta slot it in before “Mistress of Submission”.

Oh, but what happened to that shoot I did in Vegas in the Louis Vuitton corset?  Well, there was more to that.  In fact, I did a POV scene with Christian XXX in the same outfit.   When Christian shoots his POV scenes, he tends to shoot a small amount of pictures with it, but not really enough for a whole set.  So I did my own ones to bring the total count to a amount that I’d be happy with.

It took Christian a few extra weeks for him to get the pictures to me, so I might be wrapping up editing that shoot as the next offering, then I’ll go back in and finish “Discount Valentine” (I still like that name, even if I don’t have half melted chocolates everywhere).

So, February was a mixed bag.  A lot of half finished stuff.  A lot of drama.  A few breakdowns (and not just car breakdowns).  A bunch more half finished stuff.  And then a really good dancing/stripping night capping off a great fetish play weekend.  And about a week of sleeping.

Then we got some unseasonably warm days (up to 73 degrees in Boston!) and I used that opportunity to try to get my car back on the road, and also some back patio live camming.

All I can say is that I can’t wait for Spring!  When that happens my productivity goes way up, as I don’t have the constant feeling of being too cold keeping me down.   I had a lot of lows earlier this month.  Winter sucks, that’s all there is to say.  There’s nothing quite as depressing as it getting colder every day, and once it starts going the other way, my mood and my activity increases dramatically.

I do have to say, I’m am enjoying some of these selfies I’ve been taking with my new phone.  Which brings me to my next issue..

So, I’ve been updating things regularly on my facebook and tumblr, but not so much on this blog.  Why is that so?  Well, because I’m having a bitch of a time getting pictures off this phone and onto something I can do anything with.  All my computers are macs, this phone is an android.

Connecting the phone to the mac with a USB and using any image capturing app?, No go.  Using “Android File Manager” Nope, doesn’t work for some reason.  However I played with the settings on the phone, I couldn’t get anything to work.  My old iphones, no problem.   And then there’s a wordpress app that supposedly I can update this blog from my phone?  Sure.  but for some reason I couldn’t upload any photos from it either.

In the end, I had to upload from the phone to dropbox, then download from dropbox to my mac, but only one of my macs because dropbox tends to only like one of my macs!  This is almost as stupid of rigimarole I have to go through in order to get my (shot for website) pictures onto instagram. I basically have to email my pictures to myself, after of course, finding any that are PG rated).  Whatever happened to the good old days of computing when you just put files in folders and if you plugged things into your usb, your computer treated them as flash drives?

I swear, the more technology supposedly advances, the more ways engineers find to make things not work with each other.

But in the end I just have to give myself credit for at least posting a really hot shoot.

I’ve got plenty of things to finish up, all those shoots, a few that have sets built, and some artwork commisions as well.  Anyway, by the time I write this, it’s now March, but let’s just call it February 29th, February 30th, and February 31st.

-Tara

 

 

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Furs, My life, New shoot!, stripping, Tara's drawings, Tara's fetish designs, Uncategorized, Webcamming | 4 Comments

Fuck Winter, and trying to figure out what I should do next.

So, winter has thrown a few wrenches into my plans.  As I had mentioned before, my Vegas trip wasn’t quite as wonderful as it could have been, and though I have a bunch of content, I’m the first person to admit I’m not super thrilled by much of it.  I know when my stuff isn’t up to snuff, and it’s taking quite a bit of self-convincing to get myself editing the other shoot.  There’s only so much you can do with hotel room shoots, and when I can’t control every aspect of a shoot, the results are never quite as good.  Plus, I think it’s pretty apparent that the stress of the trip is evident on the pictures themselves.

In short, I want to move on to whatever’s next.  And what’s next, is something of a mess.

Before I went off to Vegas, I had made a big push to work on some sets for like 4 shoots, which I had hoped to get done in rapid-fire succession.  But of those 4, “Glory Hole-elujah” was the only one that got done, and the other 3 are still in progress.

Trouble is, I had a double (triple?) whammy of misfortune after Vegas.  The trip wasn’t super profitable, plus I came home to a incresingly shitty political climate, which hey, affects anyone of my political leanings.  And though I did get away for a weeked to recharge, once I got back from that, I fell pretty sick with whatever the flu or cold that’s been going around.  And when you’re self employed, you just can’t pay yourself sick days.  Nope, you’re basically screwed if you can’t do the work and make the money to survive.  And though the website sorta keeps crusing along, a slowdown in website activity does affect memberships and people sticking around.

However, I do think I have to give myself some credit.  I ran into a couple of my peers in the trans porn website business, and was shocked to learn that there are some in my business that haven’t updated their member’s website in months or even YEARS!   I don’t really know how these people keep paying their bills because you’d certainly think it’s not from website membership revenues!  So maybe in the grand scheme of things, I’m not really doing that badly.

So, the weekend that I was sick, that was supposed to be the weekend that I was going to plant my ass down in front of the webcam and at least put in 6 or 7 hours of solid camming, and get myself a cushion of checks in the mail on the way to me.  The nice thing about working on a site like streamate is that if you need to make the money, you just have to work at it and it can be made, though I’m still learning when the busy times are.

Well, I wasn’t able to cam the weekend I was sick, but I bounced back a little this week.  However, some unpaid bills came up, and partly as a result of being sick (where your brain just gets focussed on not dying), I basically ran out of heating oil in the studio, rendering all that work done there on sets moot,  unless we got some sort of heat wave (like, in the 40′s or 50s)

So I’m like fuck, I gotta pay my homeowners insurance, or my car insurance, or get an oil delivery, or pay a credit card bill, and guess what?  I can only pick one of these, not all four.  And you can’t NOT pay your homeowners insurance, that’s really not a think you can just lapse on.  But without heat in the studio, All that month of effort on sets and whatever is just sorta going to waste.

I was going to try to do a “Valentine’s Camshow Tarathon”, sort of like the one I did for Christmas, which if you remember, wasn’t that much of a success, but then again, I’m like scrambling to do anything that can bring some money in even if at best, it’s some checks that I won’t see for a week or two.

But then I got some ideas for outfits that are sort of Valentines-y, but can’t shoot without heat.  So I put the word out on Facebook that there’s only one thing I want for Valentines Day, not lingerie, not chocolates, not shoes, not Amazon gift cards, none of that.  I  just need to get a friggin’ oil delivery for the studio so I can continue production on those shoots I had spent a month building sets for.

And I want to thank everyone who gave to my paypal  (tara_mistress@yahoo.com).  I got more than enough for an oil delivery, and probably that oil delivery will last me the rest of the winter, so THANK YOU EVERYONE, once I get the oil delivered, I can basically almost not skip a beat!  Sure, I’ll be doing some shoots in my house, but it was so frustrating to have all this set work done and then whoops!  no heat!  (and just so you know, my studio space is far too large of a room to heat with space heaters, in fact, I usually have to use a combination of the furnace in there, with some space heaters in places so that I can do anything out there in the winter).

So, I’m going to continue with some of these ideas for shoots I want to do, though none of them will probably hit the site before Valentine’s Day.  Not that I think anyone really cares if my “Valentines” themed shoot hits my site on like February 20th or anything.. I seriously doubt that there is a single fan of mine that woud look at something with hearts on it and sees is the week after and proclaims that all the context is lost becuase it’s late!  Who fucking cares?  I seriously doubt any fap-worthiness diminishes if it’s not super duper punctual.

Thank you for everyone’s help.  It’s snowing pretty bad out there today, but hopefully I’ll have the heat going in the studio tomorrow, and I’ll be back in progress.  And with any luck, things will warm up again by the end of the month so that some of this damn snow will melt too.

With a little bit more luck, maybe I’ll find some unreleased content or something to throw  up on the site in the meantime.  I have a couple of unreleased shoots from the last few years I’m not sure if I can make something out of.  I think the most important thing is that I can’t keep stressing myself out about this.  The worst thing is stress, because when I’m stressed, I can’t relax enough to take decent pictures that have a good erotic energy to them and that feeds into things spiralling downward and then the whole system starts to crash, and none of that is any good.

-Tara

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Upcoming photosets, “Squeaky Clean” and ???

So the first of a couple of shoots I did in Vegas just went up on my site.  Sorry I’m only now getting around to posting it, I’ve been sick as hell all February.  Just the bad cold that’s been going around.  For a couple days I was in a horrible twisted nightmare of a fever dream like laying awake in a pool of sweat smelling like ibuprofren, you mind going round in roundin circles, praying for death.  Whenever I have a cold or flu, it always seems to hit my brain first, then moved to other parts of the body once that fog clears.  I still have a little bit of a cough but I missed a weekend I wanted to be available on cam a lot,  and I’m scrambling to catch up.

But before that happened, I had gotten a new shoot out, just playing in my hotel suite bathtub, called “Squeaky Clean”.

It’s not a super special shoot, but if you’ve been missing some simple nude work, it gets the job done, and you people probably would rather see it than not.   Actually the last time I was in Vegas I tried a shoot in a hotel room which I’ve never released, since I don’t feel it’s up to snuff.  Another shoot I did was something simple during the day, wearing my Louis Vuitton corset.

I’m still editing these pictures, I don’t think it’s really my best look, but

So yeah, I’ve been pretty depressed about getting sick and just the way the whole world seems to be falling apart, and not feeling that AVN was the best it could have been, and not really liking much of the work I did down there.  I look at myself and I look tired.   If I can’t control the situation and lighting of my shoots (What I did in Vegas i had to make do with what light I had), I never really get results I’m happy with.

But it’s winter right now and I’m sorta in danger of losing my studio building and having to deal with all the stuff that’s in it.  I don’t have like an eviction deadline, but I’m not doing well enough financially in my business to  realistically be thinking about buying it, so that’s making me very depressed too.  If I work in my studio I just think of broken dreams (like that movie I was making) and dashed hopes.

Somehow I hope everything will work out, but I’m basically hanging on by a thread, when I know if I just had a little time I could get other money streams going in my life.  I can’t even imagine getting back into the job market.  All I can do right now is just try to cam and keep my site updated as much as possible and make as much money as I can there.

I don’t know, I’m really worried about the future.

-Tara

 

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AVN and well, whatever …

Hey, I’m back from the Adult Entertainment Expo / AVN awards in Vegas..

It was okay..  I did this last year and took notes as to what i would do better if I  did it the next year.  Well I must’ve forgotten my notes because I made the same mistakes and more!

Geez, where to start?   Well of course I had a flurry of activity before leaving though I managed to get ” Glory Hole-elujah!” done but there were supposed to have gotten more shoots done before leaving.

While I could’ve just thrown a bunch of random outfits in a bag, an event is always a good opportunity to make a whole bunch of new costumes.   So I worked on two, with this blue and white thing as a potential for an outfit in case I attended the awards

And then on  the last day before leaving, I whipped this one up, made partially out of a recycled prom dress and well, yards and yards of inch wide black elastic, I guess.  It didn’t come out half bad considering I whipped it up in hours and sorta winged it (winged it?  wang it?  wung it?)
And I shoved a whole bunch of other outfits in my bags and headed off to Vegas in rather a hurry.

So I get there and my troubles really began.  You see, I hadn’t used uber on my iphone in nearly a year, because well, I hadn’t traveled in nearly a year and I never use uber at home since I always have my own car.  Lo and behold I touch down in Vegas and uber is forcing me to upgrade to the newest version of their app, which doesn’t work on my iphone – period, which is stupid because it worked perfectly fine a year ago!! (You’d think it would be in their interests to allow an older version of the uber app to still work, but apparently that’s not important to them).

For the past few months a friend was supposed to gift me  their iphone 5 to replace my 4 but it never happened and instead another friend gave me a Samsung android phone instead, so I had brought it along just to familiarize myself with an android phone, but I had no idea I’d have to press it into service sooner than expected.

So I get to Vegas and I’m now forced to take taxis everywhere which sucks because 1:  they’re far more expensive than ubers, and 2: youre basically shit out of luck if you’re in a place where taxis don’t frequent.  And it turns out that I was in such a hurry to leave that I basically forgot a zillion things, most of which I could have gotten at a stupid ol’ dollar store.  So the first day in Vegas was spent just scurrying around getting those things.  And at one point I took a $15 taxi ride out to Home Depot (a mile and a half away) to get spray glue, because that’s the best thing to stick pasties on with, only to have to walk all the way back to the hotel because there was no way to hail a cab out there.

Oh and I recall someone once suggested not to waste my time getting my nails done before leaving, and just “do it in Vegas”.. Well, turned out I could never get an open slot at a nail salon there, and my time in Vegas was worth more than getting my nails done, so I never got a freakin’ manicure either!

In hindsight, I should have just rented a car, it would’ve cost me far less and given me the freedom to go anywhere I needed to go.  But of course, that didn’t dawn on me until it was nearly time to leave.

On Thursday after running all over town (who knew that you can’t buy stockings at Victoria’s Secret any more) I shot a scene with Kelli Lox and Christian XXX that we will see more of once I get the photos sent to me, so that’ll be another post.  For now, I can include a few behind the scenes selfies.

By the end of the day I got so frustrated with the phone situation, I basically paid some little hole-in-the-wall-shady-cel-phone-place-staffed-entirely-by-Asians to unlock the Samsung phone (it was on T-mobile and I’m AT&T) so by Friday I was able to use uber properly, and finally get my ass down to the convention floor.

I  started out wearing this little number until someone at the con warned me that pasties were not covering my boobs enough, even though I was walking across the hotel lobby and in the queue to get in just fine with them all out for the world to see.  Yeah, they wait until I get IN and NOW they tell me?  Of course, half the porn stars sitting at booths at the show are showing just as much as me, so I don’t know if it was just a problem someone had with me, but in any event I snapped a few shots of them, just in case I was warned again, i could just thumb through my phone and say “but did you tell HER to cover up?  double standards?”
So I got to the show sorta later than I wanted to (about 2 pm) and pretty much saw everything I wanted to see in about an hour.   I wasn’t even allowed to bring in a suitcase (last year they allowed it), so I had to check that at the hotel, and go back to it to change outfits, since they told me my tits couldn’t be out like that.  So I changed, into my Louis Vuitton counterfeit bag corset, which for me is pretty tepid.  And finally I saw something that piqued my interest.

There was one booth there, that had this thing that you walked into.  Its hard to describe it, but imagine something about the size of a TARDIS (well, the outside of one), and  you step in and it’s like maybe 200 camera and lights.  Then they take your picture and they can 3-d print a little statue of you! www.me-mento3d.com

So I see this and the guy running the booth, I guess knew who I was (because I actually got quite a few people recognizing me at the show), and was like “Tara, you gotta do this!  We can make you a statue and we can work out some sort of deal where you sell them to your fans”  (or something along those lines).  And I’m like “ooh, this is the coolest thing I’ve seen so far, but you haven’t exactly caught me at my best!”

So I do the math.  It’s 4 pm.   The convention floor is open till 8.  The uber ride back to the hotel is 10 mintues each way, half hour max.    Zip back, change into whatever is the most fabulous outfit I have, and get back here still in time to see whatever I missed.  I can totally swing it.  I had actually been pretty miserable on this trip up to this point, it was nice to get a mission.  Finally!  I had a mission!  I’d zip back change and get turned into an action figure!!

So that’s what I did.  I had brought along my “Fan Dancer” outfit but now with my new  boobs filling it out even nicer, and with pink hair too, I think it was a good choice for a little statue of me.  I have not heard back from them yet about it, but as soon as i do I’ll have an update on it, and how you can get a little Tara Emory statue!

The rest of the night was spent meeting some new faces in the trans porn and running into a few familiar faces, Natalie Mars, Isabella Sorrenti, Kelli Lox (we did a scene together with Christian but that will be another post), Tyra Scott, I saw Kylie Maria for a fleeting moment, and actually had a nice sit down with Gia Darling and we reminisced about the golden age on internet porn when making money off the internet was a helluva lot easier!

I’m always bumping into Morgan Bailey, Michelle Austin, Eddie Wood and I know there’s some names I’m forgetting, and if I didn’t include you I’m sorry.  I kinda didn’t have as much free time as I wanted to have.

So let’s see.  Backtracking a little bit, I shot a scene with Christian and Kelly Lox on Thursday afternoon, and a scene with just Christian on Saturday.  There had been a possibility of getting a paid gig on this trip, but it didn’t happen.  Because of that, I opted not to go to the awards show (it’s kinda pricey), and instead just hung about the convention and the circular bar at the Hard Rock during that time.

And yes, I was STILL working on outfits right up until the day of.  Yeah, I might have left a small mess on the floor…
And I think I can say that this one had maybe a teeny weeny bit of Vegas-period Elvis Presley in it, though it was completely unintentional.  But it was a happy accident, or maybe my brain was subliminally working on a different level.  I had wanted to add a white fur collar, but no fur was available (and I wasn’t going to cannibalize a coat for that), but it works fine with a fur coat over it.
And well, the last night was spent  at the TGirl night at the Las Vegas Lounge, and since I was flying out the next morning, there was no good reason to get super trashed or off on some Hangover movie style tangent.   I’m a little too sensible when it comes to things like that, I never ever party when I have to be all packed up and out of the room the next morning.

All in all, it was a pretty successful trip, though I feel I spent/wasted a lot of time finishing things that I was working on up until leaving, preventing me from maybe enjoying things that much.  Of course, it’s always on the last night that you’re in town that you meet a nice person who could have easily taken you all around town for your whole trip had you met them the minute you landed..  And had I gotten the paid shoot I would have been happy to have spent a little to go to the awards, but that’s fine, I created my own entertainment, and hey, I’m sorta circling around the perimeter of the whole porn business anyway, maybe next year I’ll finally do it right.

-Tara

PS   I’m leaving the shoots I did there for another post, as well as what’s happened since, because it’s been a rough few weeks since, oh…  January 20th or so… But I think you can guess what that’s about..

 

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Glory, Glory Hole-Elujah!

My my, I’ve been a naughty slut, haven’t I?  Serviceing all those hung guys in that filthy bathroom stall in the rest area off US Rt 69…

I’m such a cum dumpster at heart!

What a trashy tramp!

All those guys!  Good thing they used protection when they fucked me!  I’m such a filthy slut!!

I never said I wasn’t going to slurp it up, anyway?


So tra la la.   This shoot came out pretty good.. Very dirty.   I may have gone a bit far in some places, like maybe a tad bit overboard with the cum-filled condoms, but this is an erotic vignette after all.  I’m really pushing the hentai angle, so hey, might as well push it all the way.

Enjoy the new set, it just went up on the site tonight.  The other sets and shoot are still in progress.  I might have to switch gears over the next couple of days for my preperation for AVN, which basically snuck up on me quicker than I realized.  Oh well, at the very least, I’ll just throw a bunch of outfits in my bags and work with that.  Whether I go to the awards or not is still up in the air, but I’m going to try to be prepared if I can manage to go, becuase I know there’s a red carpet and a great opporunity for pubilcity.  But I got like 2 days left to make things unless I end up bringing outfits ot finish.  Uh oh, I have a feeling it’s going to be one of those sort of trips..

 

-Tara

 

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The Tara Emory 3.0 Graphics Package is Up! (mostly)

My big site Graphics Package Overhaul is finally up and running, for the most part. Now my site is finally Tara Emory 3.0!  For the splash page, I kept a similar theme, but from my newer shoot “Pastel Pet

Come check out the new www.taraemory.com (aka www.tara-ts.com) 

You see, the “portal”, or “free area” of my site hadn’t been updated for a while, and it really needed an upgrade.    Hopefully it better represents the goodies within, and how versatile a fantasy merchant I am.


I had been working on sets lately, but was just full of ideas for the site, and I wanted to get it out the door.  I had been working these graphics over the last 6 months, so I wanted to release them before I changed my mind (again) at how to sell myself.  So instead of picking a theme and running with it, I went with about 3 themes, and just decided to run with it.  From Steampunk to Candyland to my Garden to..  well..  Stuff like this.

Yeah I know, some of it sounds ridiculous, ” A slice of Americana Pie”  And yes, someone once called me “The Martha Stewart of Tranny Porn”  .

You know, because there’s the product called “Tara Emory”, and well, then there’s me, Tara.   Maybe what I wrote tells  you all more about myself than I thought..

So check it out, and tell me if you like it.

I think a lot of it sound nuts, but it’s so well written, I was like I can’t cut this, this is great!  But I’ve removed the bio page that was there (it was getting on 10 years old!)  and if you click on the links, you’ll be taken on a little tour.  I have to say, I’ve been enjoying this whole laying down text captions down on photos.  Maybe I’ll do a whole shoot where I caption it, like the old porn magazines did..

The big parts I haven’t redone yet are the Store section and the Social Media hub.  I did incorporate my twitter feed in this part of the site, and even though it’s the same video from before, it is formatted bigger and you can find the buttons.

The Social Media page will sort of be a sort of Grand Central Station for contacting me, whether its for customer support, or booking me for an event.

But for now I’ve got the first part up.  I really have gone domestic, haven’t I?  But I think that’s what people want to see more of, and I’m opening up a lot to all of you!

In any event, it’s going to be a super busy month, with AVN coming up and another shoot with Christian XXX.  My new shoots coming up and my new career image!  It’s nice to feel invested in my career again!

-Tara

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