Anyone who follows my blog who is a real person and not a spambot…

Reply with a cohesive comment to this post, and I will mark you to NOT be deleted from the database.

Otherwise, I am going through and deleting pretty much thousands of users, 99% of which are spambots.  I’ve tried Captcha and all sorts of things and they don’t seem to be preventing spambots from signing up (though they’re preventing them from commenting)

The best I can do is to make a list of users I know are real, and then delete the rest.  In some cases it’s easy to know which ones are spambots – You’ll have jibberish names and jibberish email addresses like “”, but some are difficult to tell.

(I don’t know where is but any user with an email address from there is getting the chop, that’s for sure.)

So, if you’ve never commented on a blog post before, and DON’T want to be deleted, reply NOW.  If  you have replied before, there is no need to reply to this message.

All the real people who respond will be saved, raptured away and your clothes left behind  The others will be LEFT BEHIND!  Or maybe it’s the other way around, and those left behind are the real users, and the annoying spambots will be raptured away!


Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Go Big or Go Home.

What happened?  I was on top of the world there for a week, climaxing in my appearance at New York City’s “The Tranny Strip”, and then all of a sudden, silence.

Well, I got sick.  Really sick.  Really, really, really sick.

I’m not sure if I overdid things or not, but starting on St Patrick’s Day I attended a birthday party for Bella Vendetta at the Anthony’s Gentelmen’s club, then I had three profitable and confident days dancing at The Satin Doll (Thursday, Friday and Saturday).

The DJ at Satin Doll remarked how at one point when I walked off the stage I oozed confidence, and I was sure that the next day at Tranny Strip I was going to kill it as a feature dancer and special guest.

But it didn’t happen that way.  I left work early on Saturday night, got plenty of sleep, and left for NYC at noon, doing the 200 mile drive in about 4 hours.  This was my first time working The Tranny Strip so my plan was to drive in, dance and make money, and drive home at the end of the night.  And all things considered, it was probably the best plan.

Now of course, lots of people seemed to want to meet me outside of the club while I was “in town”, and there was a lot of questions as to why I wasn’t staying longer, or at least staying overnight.  Well, it was mostly a question of money.  Money is tight and taxes are coming up, and so driving there and taking an hour to find a free parking spot on the street (Yes, they do exist in NYC if you’re patient),and then driving home – was really the best option considering that I had no idea if I was going to make much that night at all.

The other problem was that, on the drive down, I could tell that I was in the beginnings of a cold or flu, and I didn’t feel top of the world lie I really needed to be.  But it was too late to back out of it, so I pressed on.

The night itself was decent.  Income wise, it was not the big bonanza that I had hoped for, but then again, my mood was growing worse and worse knowing I was just getting sicker.  I did about as well as a good night at the Satin Doll, so some respects, I could’ve just stayed at home and made the same amount of money.

Perhaps I would have done better if I hadn’t been on the cusp of getting sick.  I had also told them that I was just going to dance and strip and not do a burlesque show, yet after saying that more than twice, they kept billing my performance as a burlesque show.  So I had to cobble something together on an unknown stage and it went OK.

Funny thing is that I had becme used to the setup at the Satin Doll, where they have two stripper poles on a central stage, where guys surround it, sitting at a ledge called a “tip rail”.  The venue of the Tranny Strip was the opposite of that!  The stage is only slightly higher than the audience, and lets just say it’s not that condusive to milking the audience out of their dollar bills.  And there are no stripper poles on the stage.  There is one in the back near the bar, but I tried a few pole tricks on it and soon realized I was kicking patrons near the bar because it was fairly tight back there.

In fact, the way the venue is made, it’s almost perfect for a few of the performances I have done in the past.    This is one of the things I am learning as a performer, that you can’t be sure of how any venue is going to be set up.  This trip to the Tranny Strip was meant to be like a reconnaissance mission – a little dip of my toe in the water before I jump in all the way at a later date.

You can’t ever be sure what a venue is going to be like until you’re there.   Years back, I did a showgirl performance on an event on a boat, to discover that not only was there no place to get dressed (like they had an extra room somewhere- sorry!), but the ceilings were about 7 feet high meaning my showgirl headdress kept whacking the ceiling.

So the night didn’t go quite as well as I had planned, but I still came out on top, whereas if I had paid for parking and a hotel and all that, I probably would’ve just about broken even.  But I did leave armed with the knowledge that if I’m going to DO New York, I realy ought to GO BIG.  Because (and this may have been my own perception, as when I get sick, the first thing to sour is my mood) I didn’t feel like I was like any of their other dancers there.  The New York tgirls are very attractive in a different way than me, and well, how can I say it without sounding negative..   it’s like they all come out of a factory where they are all trying to look like Kim Kardashian, and well, that’s simply not me.  I did meet a few interesting people, and had some fun, but I sure felt like a fish out of water, or a country girl lost in the city.  I tried about 3 or 4 looks that night, not feeling that any of them were getting me any dances.  At one point I was becoming so negative I actually started to doubt wether being a sex worker was something I really wanted to aspire to.  That’s really not the right state of mind to be in when you’re at a place like this.

I don’t know.  Like I said, I was starting to feel sicker and sicker, and once 2 am rolled around (when the night was supposed to be over), they announced that they would be open till 4 am, but by then I had given all I could, and I got in my car and went home.

By 5:30 AM I was back in my own bed (and let’s be honest, if I had stayed in town, I probably wouldn’t've gotten enough sleep anyway, if I had to check out by 11am), wondering if I had made a mistake by going in the first place.  You see, when I get a bad bad cold, it really affects my thinking, and I had 2 or 3 days after that where I couldn’t stop my brain from going round and round in circles.  It’s Friday now and only today I’m starting to feel normal, though I’m not fully recovered yet.

So, I DO want to do Tranny Strip again, certainly now that I know how to play to my strengths.   Probably I’m best off doing my wacky off the wall burlesque shows there, more as publicity, and don’t try to compete with the Kardashian clones.  I know I have “stage presence” and “star quality”, this club seems like the sort of place where I should just show up in my crazy outfits and be memorable- as more of a publicity stunt than trying to be something that I’m not.

I dunno, I’m still sort of sick so it’s still coloring my perception right now.  Jeez, I only today just took my first bath since Saturday.  I’ve barely eaten all week and my house is a mess and things have gone neglected all week.  I’m only starting to get back to normal but I feel like I lost a lot of momentum.  That seems to be how my luck is, that whenever I get some momentum going, something happens to whack me in the ankles and set be back a few steps.  I wish I could say I “took a week off”, but it’s not like I did anything fun this last week.  Sitting in bed trying to sleep and hoping that NyQuil will just knock me unconcsious for 3 days straight isn’t much of a vacation.   Honestly I would have rather have been in a coma.

I’ll report in a few days when I figure out what I’m doing next.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, burlesque performances, travel, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Headlining the Tranny Strip in NYC 3/22 and possibly 4/26!!

Yes, copy and repost this flyer!

So guys, (and gals too) I’m gearing up for my big debut at the Tranny Strip at Headquarters Gentlemen’s Club in NYC coming up this Sunday.

I got on board the March event a little bit late for them to make me the “headliner”, as they have a bunch of other porn stars as their big names, plus I suppose it would’ve been bad form to look like I was bumping them from the top spot or anything.  This is my first time doing the Tranny Strip, so there are a lot of unknowns involved.

So, the basics are this:

I’m just driving into town, doing this event and driving back, lest something interesting comes up after the club.  But mostly my intent is to strip and lapdance, make some good $ and really that’s pretty much it.  I’m getting a lot of guys sending me emails who want to see me outside of the club or meet me at other bars or whatever and all I can say is that if you want to meet me, just come to the damn club I’m going to be at, okay?  I mean, like seriously, you know where I’m gonna be, just show up.  If I had a nickel for the amount of guys who wanted to see me here or there who chickened out, I’d be rich today.  So no, I’m not going to change my plans for a bunch of maybes or complete strangers.

In addition, I won’t be doing a “burlesque show”, at least not this month.  Mostly because I’m not prepared for it, but also because I’ve never been to this venue, and I hate preparing for things where there’s too many unknowns.  I don’t know the parking situation.  For all I know I have to park miles away and take a cab, and then carrying big feather fans it becomes a disaster.  Plus you never know what the dj will do about your music.  Let’s say you are going a performance to a special edit of a song or something, and you bring in a cd.  Some DJ’s cant do anything with that (which is unacceptable as far as I am concerned).

I recently heard a horror story about a burlesuqe performer who practiced a routine to a song for weeks for an event and the dj wouldn’t accept the cd, instead he downloaded the version of the song off the internet and only when the girl did the performance, realized the guy had edited the song down and she basically missed all her cues.

Also for all I know, the place could have 8 foot high ceilings and I’d soon discover I can’t do something or other with a huge outfit.  I once did a huge event which was on a boat, to discover very quickly there was no such thing as a dressing room and the ceilings were 7 feet high.  Not to say this club is a boat, but you never know what  you’re going to get.  Maybe this club has no stage for all I know.

Anyway-  I’ll be there doing the basic strip club thing.  With any luck the club will see I’m bringing in a crowd of admirers and allow me to do more next month.  So come out and see me, have a drink or two and some intellegent conversation as well.  And yeah, a filthy lap dance or more in the champagne room!


PS,  Just released a 49-picture mini-set called “The Vacation Affairist”, which was one of the leftover shoots I had from a while back. I decided to leave it as it’s own shoot, and not combine it with another one..

Posted in Behind the Scenes, burlesque performances, My life | 2 Comments

The daunting task of redoing most of the older galleries? (oh my)..

Okay, this is going to be a mammoth undertaking!

You know how the movie industry wants you to throw out all your old DVDs and get high def Blu-rays of all the movies you already own?  Well, HAHAHHAHAHAHA!! Prepare to feel treated the same way on my site!

No but really, in all honestly, you, the humble consumer will be the one benefitting the most, while I will most likely have my posture suffering and see my eyeballs burst into flames from countless hours at the computer, as I basically re-process and re-edit nearly all my shoots from 2003 to 2009.

What’s that you say?  Redoing everything?   Why?  Well, It’s like this.  Previous to 2003 my primary digital camera was actually a 1 megapixel still camera built into a Sony mini DV camcorder (one megapixel is like 800 x 1200 originals) .  It gave fine results for the time, but weren’t we all viewing sites on 13 inch CRT monitors and oh my, 640 x 480 final resolution was BIG!

Sometime in 2003 I started to employ real photographers because I was unhappy with the results of my crappy camcorder cam, so there are a few pre-September 2003 shoots that can be re-worked from larger originals.  Beginning with “Here Cums the Bride” in 2003 my original shots came from the blazing 4 megapixels of the first Canon Powershot G-series camera I bought (which had the flip out screen and wireless remote/delay which works very well for self shooting, a technique I still use today).

Back in the mid 00′s I was paying server fees for bandwidth and I do recall having my server cost something like hundreds upon hundreds of dollars a month, so I made a concious effort to keep the file size of the final JPEGS down quite a bit. Also, at the time the final processed edited shots being at 600 x 900 seemed generous for the time.

Fast forward many years later and things have changed considerably.. I still use aCanon Powershot, with originals at 7mp (2304 x 2272 original size).  Of course, during the editing process there is some cropping involved but long story short, – the originals of most of the work I did back then are much bigger than the final versions you see on the site.

Since about 2009 I realized that some people have HUGE monitors and also some people prefer to zoom in on the photos, so as I edited new shoots I’ve been slowly upping the resolution of the final shots to the point where it’s about 1800 pixels on the longest size, which is where I am now.  My intention and focus on the power of the still photograph invites the viewer to get lost in the details.

And nowadays my server has unlimited bandwidth and a much much cheaper flat rate that I pay, so final picture size is really a moot point (assuming theres enough pixel information to start with).  The only point is oh my god what a ton of work to re-do all those shoots.  But that’s what I’d like to do, just slowly.

The only thing is I’m not even sure it’s work that I want to jump back into.  Looking at these old shoots.. Eh… some of them quite frankly suck.   But some of them can be saved and even punched up a couple of levels with some creative cropping and rotating.  Here’s a few examples, and this isn’t even punched up as much as I could.

as opposed to this:
Now of course if your computer monitor is re-sizing these photos to fit, you really won’t see much difference on the more vertical shots.  It’s a bit more effective on the horozontal shots:
to be replaced by this:

One big issue is that I will have to resist the temptation to alter these photos with any photoshop trickery that I didn’t use back in the day. Oh, I could increase my breast size if I wanted to but that would be a tad bit disingenuous. Hopefully I will uncover some lost gems though.

In the process of searching through some of these old sets, I have found bits and pieces that fell by the wayside.  There was this old shoot I did in 2004 called “Green Gingham” that isn’t really my best one, but apparently I did a whole bunch of pix on the back porch and somehow it didn’t fit in with the rest of the shoot.  So there may be some previously  unreleased stuff that finally sees the light of day.

There’s also a good chance that there’s a shoot or two where the buttons to access them got accidentally deleted, though the shoots are still on the website.

So last night the first thing did to prepare for this was I actually split off the 2012 and 2013 shoots off into their own galleries, and I’m cleaning up the code and scouring the site for bad links and html errors.  Until I have more 2015 shoots, I will keep them with the 2014 shoots, so that page of “recent galleries” doesn’t look to sparse.

and I still got a bit of margin/centering issues here I gotta clean up.  I might dress up the background a bit more and fancy it up a bit more.
Anyway, back to the upscaling project- how will you know when all this work is done?  I’m not sure.  Right now I’ve been randomly selecting shoots as I feel like it and I even replaced a few of the low-res shots with new versions in the higher quality.  If  you go to “Cherry Pie” (from 2003 I think) there’s a few shots that are mysteriously larger for no apparentl reason.

Even then, I could've gone bigger!

I think instead of uploading these in dribs and drabs I’m going to try to wait until I have a whole years’ worth of a gallery of photos done up in the higher resolution, and then upload that all in one go. I will likely change the gallery buttons (to something larger and nicer, without the white hazy borders) for each year that’s been changed.  And the number of pictures in each gallery might also change as I pick completely different shots and work up ones I might have overlooked the first time.  Once I get to the 2006/2007 galleries, the change in size will be the most noticable because the originals were even higher quality then.  When and if I get around to the 2010 ones, I’m not sure the upscaling will be that noticeable, because at some point around then, the finals went from 950 to 1200 to 1300 to 1600 in a few spurts.

The 2006 set polka hearts was one of the first done with the 7mp camera, so I have more information to work with.  The original final was only 950 px high, now is 1800 pixels high.


The easiest way to tell the new ones is that they will have the newer "Tara Emory" logo

So yeah.  It should breathe some life into these old shoots, which before were just too tiny by today’s standards to really offer that much value to new customers.  And once I’m done, with any luck all of you who belonged to my site in the past will have to re-join!  Moohoohoohahaha!  (okay, so it’s not really a diabolical plan, it’s just good business..)

Now I suppose I shouldn’t even mention how I shot most of my videos since 2011 on HD  but have been editing and releasing it on standard def.. Oh no Tara, looks like I know what I will be doing there for another year…


PS. Interestingly enough, looking at these old shoots I notice just how flat chested I was, how curvy my body shape isn’t, and how much I don’t yet seem to know about doing my makeup.  I have come a long long way in 10 years.  And looking at some of these old outfits I know I will be reminded of how I should do some new shoots in them as well (like I did with Ho Peep).  I can easily see doing a new set of “Polka hearts” and even “Cum Scout”..  So what do you all think?  Is it worth it to upscale these old shoots?  Or just leave them be and concentrate on the new stuff?  In an ideal world I will do both. Sadly, I can’t just batch process the size part from the old finals, I have to work from the originals, which means photoshopping out all the pimples, razor burns and boob job scars like I always do..

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

What’s a famous star like you doing in a dump like this?

I get asked this often while at the Satin Doll.  Not that it’s a dump- I actually like the decor of the place, and I find it’s cozy, and sleazy in a boudoir-ish way (though IMHO they could push that further).

Still, I find that when I work there, about once a week I get someone who recognizes me, or who has come just to see me.  Yeah, I like that.

But sometimes (and this is the most amusing) I get guys who meet me, and we chat a bit.  I introduce myself as Tara.  Either after some time in conversation, or after I divulge that I’m “..Tara Emory, check me out on the internet..”, they’re stunned to meet me (having heard of me and thinking I’m far too big to be in that place, and even moreso, some guys completely do not believe it’s me, forcing me to actually whip out my phone and show them things like behind-the-scenes shots of my photosets and outfits.

Famously years back (and this was like maybe 2005) I was accused of impersonating myself when I randomly stopped at Jacques Cabaret in Boston.  I believe the guy I met was like “You know who you look like? You look like Tara Emory”.  To which I replied “Well, that’s because I am Tara Emory”, and well, they didn’t believe me.

Apparently people either think I’m famous, or they haven’t heard of me at all.  There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground though. It’s very strange.  And yes, I will admit that the narcissist in me gets her ego stroked when I am recognized.  If I’m having a shitty week where no one recognizes me,  it affects everything, and I’ve been through some rough patches the last few years where I’ve felt like I was washed up or god, time to pack it all up and fade away or whatever.

But anyway, back to the Satin Doll.  What am I doing in a sleazy place like this? Aren’t I better than this?  Well for everything there is a reason.

What I’m doing is getting back to the basics of feeling sexy, and (pardon the pun) stripping down my act to the bare bones before I go and add all the crazy costumes and props.  Its a sound strategy, I hope.

You see, back a few years back I decided burlesque performances was the logical conclusion of my live appearances in my signature outfits.  I recall going to substandard fetish events in amazing outfits and being the best dressed there, even  blowing away whatever performances were going on at the venue.  It seemed like a better thing to do was to save that amazingness for a show.  So I did shows in LA, Montreal, Jamacia, etc. etc.  I had great ideas and how shall we put it- very animated and kinetic props.

In Jamacia, here you can see my practicing my lack of eye contact with the audience..

And not to say that each performance was a train wreck but I felt that I was certainly putting the cart before the horse, trying to make a production out of mostly my outfits and my concepts and my reputation, while seeming pretty shaky on stage.  I had ambitious plans but in most cases I felt the excecution left a lot to be desired.

Look at the audience Tara!!!!!!

At first I assumed this was because I was too old, or not athletic enough and I couldn’t help being insulted just a tad bit when I’d meet a 21 year old kid who was “doing burlesque for 10 months” and declared herself an “expert”.   Okay, fine, so I can’t do backflips and I’m no contortionist.  But I knew I had something if only I could perfect it.

So yeah, this, but better- is the goal.

And then this gig came up at the Satin Doll.  I’ve always dreamed of pole dancing and stripping and lap dancing, and even though it took some oh, how shall we say it – setting my dignity off to the side- in order to give complete strangers lap dances, it appealed to a certain dark and dirty part of my psyche.  But in the back of my mind I knew I could perfect my stage dancing skills and stage presence most of all.

And my first night was a terrific ego boost.  I realized I WAS in good physical condition, and that I DID have great stage presence, and I have things about my personality that draw people in and bring them right to the stage.  The pole dancing has done wonders to my physique and while I won’t pretend that I have the flexibility that a teenage girl would have, I’m nowhere as bad as I thought I was.  Also, once I found the right music to dance to, it made all the difference in the world.

Plus, my lap dancing skills have improved and damn, I’ve got my cooing in your ear and pornstar squeals own pat.  I can’t wait for those inevitable (ahem, hardcore)porn videos that I will likely do later this year because yeah, I got it, I still got it, and even better, I probably have got more of it now more than I did before, because in so many ways, I have been perfecting this for 15 years.  With porn, people assume you’re washed up when you hit 21, but I’m here to tell you there are skills of seduction that you can only learn over time and with experience.  That might make me officially a “cougar”, hey, whatever.  When I was growing up the women I was attracted to the most were in their late 30′s and 40′s and rather commanding and in charge of their lives and careers, not annoying bubbly 19 year old airheads concerned with their phones and thinking everything will come to them just because they are pretty.

Ah, well, my strange relationship with “bimbofication” is a topic for a whole other blog post, but I’ll stick to the subject for now.

To put it more simply, I’ve been taking a crash course on the basics of sexy dance, and also making a little bit of money off it at the same time, which really came in handy in a jam.  I’m still not quite out of that financial jam yet, but I’m getting on top of it.

Oh, and yeah, BEWBS.  I can’t underplay how much my new TITS have also helped my confidence.  They are wonderful and I’m so glad I have done them.  I didn’t raise quite enough that I needed for them, so I had to finance the rest, but you could also say that these BOOBYLONS have paid for themselves.

Life is always better in DD's. Well in my business it can only help.

All this means that I’m actively looking to re-expand my burlesque career and general career as a transsexual model and personality.  The hard part is finding the time from shoots and this gig to find out where to shop my act around to.  I am literally a one person show, and I have never had a manager or someone else to help me (well, I have had offers, but usually from unqualified persons).

I will be very actively exploring all avenues.   Right now my spring appearances include the Tranny Strip NYC on March 22nd, and some other venues that are up in the air a bit.

Yes, copy and repost this flyer!

I’m also debating as to – in the search for more venues – wether I embrace the drag club culture and wether they would find me a draw.  It’s a double edged sword because as a transwoman wanting to be accepted as a sexy female, most of the time drag isn’t sexy.  But at the same time I understand that a lot of my fan base has overlap, and also since I have an emphasis on showgirlishness (if that’s a word) and outfits, it might not be a bad route to explore.  Plus there are far, far more gay and drag clubs out there than TS stripclubs or burlesque clubs open to TS performers.

Because you know this will go over well in that scene.

So I have a lot of options open and I’m just going to go for them all and see what works!  So I’m very open to suggestions as to venues in all parts of the country, and I’ll start making some calls and sending some emails!


Posted in Behind the Scenes, My life | 7 Comments

Let’s Rub Noses…

..  like the eskimoses!

Ah, yes it’s a silly name, but that’s what I ended up sticking with for my new outdoor winter-y fur bikini shoot I wrapped up recently.
So of all the shoots in the pipeline, I decided to get this one out of the door first, you know- while winter is still relevant, I guess, right?

I had some issues with the lighting of this shoot, but for the most part it came out pretty good.  I even got a few pictures with the igloo I started to build on my back patio.  Actually I got really sick of not having a patio so I shovelled out my backyard firepit, and it started to turn into the foundation of what would’ve been a 15-foot diameter igloo.

I got about as far as making the archway for the door, and thankfully for all of us, I think my sanity won over, and I did not waste any more time making the stupid thing.  I don’t think I want to see any more snow, ever again.

So thankfully a lot of the snow has melted (well, I melted it away doing a smoking hot shoot), and also this time, no unwanted tresspassers!  The final tally came out to be about 150 shots.

What’s up next?  Likely that black/blonde hotel/fireplace shoot I was working on before, and YES, a video update! (which I know you’re clamoring for)

And yes, I’m starting to put together my spring schedule of personal appearances!  I’m tryingto figure out where the best place is to advertise that.  I’m not sure how many people I reach with this blog vs like twitter and tumblr, so I need to do some research on that.

busy busy busy..



Posted in Behind the Scenes, Furs, New shoot! | 4 Comments

A little bit of this, a little bit of that…

Sometimes photo shoots come out well.  Sometimes they’re a disaster.  And sometimes they’re just not up to par with what I’m used to.  And sometimes, photo shoots are lost in the ether of cyberspace.

Right now I’m going back into a few old shoots and I made an attempt to do a new shoot out in the snow, but I was so.. ahem…  rudely interrupted that I’m going to have to resume that shoot in a few days.

First off, back in September when I went to Montreal Fetish Weekend, I had some spare time in my hotel room and decided to do a quick shoot in the natural light.  Originally I wasn’t happy at all with the shoot, but I’ve managed to salvage a mini-set of 49 pictures out of all this, and I guess it’s better to release it than to not release it.
Natural light is usually a very tricky thing, and I had to play around with the colors to get everything to look better balanced and warm.  When you have a mix of indoor lights and outdoor lights, man, that’s a mess of yellow and blue at the same time.

Speaking of bad lighting, at the same time in January that I did my “Fur Closet” shoot. I had banged off a set in front of my fireplace, getting all cozy with a cup of hot cocoa.  I was wearing a low neck sweater dress which one of my fans was clamoring for a sweaterdress shoot now!
I was having a very tricky time with having the studio lights low enough so that I could see the flames of the fire behind me.  I was not happy with the results, but looking back at the shoot, I bumped up the brightness, and though the pictures are pretty grainy, there are some good poses, so I might take the best of this shoot and add it to the Montreal hotel room shoot.

I mean, it’s OK, once you play around with the pictures.  Truth be told, I’ve been sitting on these photos for over a month I should’ve just processed these shots back during the dry spell between”Fur Closet” and “Bimbo Peep”.

Once upon a time in Jamaica, I was at the Hedonism II resort for the Miss Fetish Queen of the Universe pageant.  The event organizers had a few guys taking photo shoots all over the resort, and we were told we’d get the photos to use for our own use.  I did a wonderful, yet not particularly X-rated latex shoot with the beautiful Alexia Jordon, Denver dominatrix and lated Barbie-doll inspiration for me.

I recall after the event contacting the photographer and yes, it was allright for me to use the shots.  He then sent me to a dropbox or something like that. However, he didn’t really give me much that I could use because instead ot just sending me the 200 or so pictures of me, in high resolution, instead he sent me every single photo he shot during the week, in an almost completely useless resolution of like 600 x 800 pixels.

Some time later I tried to get back to him but alas, he had some big falling out with the entire fetish scene and he dropped off the face of the earth.  I don’t know, found Jesus or something.  In any event, there’s this GREAT shoot of us that I can hardly use.  I recently went back into it to see if I could up the resolution but I know what I really need is the original resolution to start from.
I’m  not sure what I’m going to do.  It’s entirely possible that the event promoters have the original size photos, maybe I’ll pester them to let me use them.  The event itself was like over 2 years ago so I’m guessing the timeliness of the photos (in relation to the event) is kind of moot right now.  It’s not my best stuff, but if I had the originals to work from I know I could get a pretty hot set out of them.
Lastly, I decided to try to make lemons out of lemonade and do a furkini shoot outside in the snow.  I set up a little nook on my  back patio with my back to the rest of the world, and got busy with the self timer.

However, this winter I had been giving away firewood to some guys in the neighborhood, who always let me know when they wanted to get more.  Well, they decided to just  show up unannounced in my backyard while I was doing this shoot.  Of all the days they had to pick, of course they picked this day.

I only managed to get about 50 pictures shot when I noticed voices behind me, about 100 feet away.  Actually they didn’t even see me (I probably blended in with the snow), but in any event I scurried into the house and grumbled a bit and sent a few texts out asking to please let me know if you’re going to show up and grab wood, but not explaining why.

In any event the sun was going down and I was running out of decent sunlight.  I seem to always succeed at whenever I do an outdoor shoot on a sunny day (when I’m using a reflector to bounce it back at me), without fail, the clouds come out of nowhere and ruin my lighting.

So yeah, the fur shoot, I’ll just have to pick that up and finish it in a few days, though to be honest, I’m thinking a whole totally different angle anyway, so I’m not sure what I will do.

The bottom line is that there is always stuff in the pipeline, wether it’s something new, something old, or something from the cutting room floor.  And somewhere out there, in London England, on some guy’s shelf, is a roll of undeveloped film from 2003 of a really hot bellhop shoot I did over there.  Alas. I don’t think that shoot will ever see the light of day.  Also at Bondcon in 2004 I think I did a sweater shoot for a sweater fetish guy, and I never ever saw it..

Ah, alas, sigh.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, Furs, New shoot! | 8 Comments

Signs of Spring with “Bimbo Peep”

I’m back!!!

I just did a new shoot in my old “Little Ho Peep” outfit from oh, geez, 10 years ago.  Sometime a few years back I had made some tweaks to the outfit to make it pop a bit more, and I wore it out during the Montreal Fetish Weekend exhibitionist tour.  But I had yet to do a new shoot with it.

The old shoot done in 2003 (!)  was one of the last shoots that I did on a 1 megapixel camera, and though I had supplemented it with some later shots, the outfit wasn’t quite there yet, and neither was the background.

and this time I decided to leave the sheep unmolested..

So with some nice tweaks, and though I would have loved to have  made a background this time, I needed a new shoot fast so I just shot in my blue and white library room, which works ok.  Maybe the next time I do the shoot I go for some more dramatic lighting and a more appropriate set, but trust me, I know you’re all aching for something new, and I hope this fits the bill.

Anyway, with the skirt shortened a bit (when it was too long it actually dragged the whole outfit down), the whole outfit pops a lot more.  Of course, with my glorious new titty fun bags, that’s not the only thing popping.. I also added bows to the garters, and this time have some better matching shoes and stockings.  Some flowers to the bonnet and some jewelry and the rejuvenation of “Little Ho Peep”, has become “BimBo Peep”, with my new plastic and bimbo-ish attitude.

I shot like – geez-  over 300 pictures, so I’m going to have to whittle it down to the best 200 or so, so it might take a few days to get them up on the site.   I’ll also be at the Satin Doll the next few weekends (weather permitting), so please please come down and see me!  I need the encouragment to stay sexy and in a state of complete fuckdolleryism.  I also have some New York stripping dates coming up soon! (to be announced).

I’m going to to try to do a few more indoor shoots this weekend, now that I feel like I’m on a roll.


It’s nice to feel sexy again!


Posted in Behind the Scenes, Bimbofication | 7 Comments

Snowcarceration soon lifting…

So as you may know, I’ve been in a pretty deep blue funk this winter. It’s been record breaking in terms of how much snow we’ve had in how short a time and it just saps the soul right out of ya.

And I feel my energy normally spent on doing shoots has been sucked away and spent shoveling walkways, driveways, roofs, etc. over and over.  Though today I just realized that I had somewhere left my shovel out there and its buried under a few inches of new snow.

Which might just be my sign to give up on shovelling.  I’m not getting another shovel, to find the original shovel.   It’s like what I call the  “Scissors Package Paradigm”  (which is copyright and tradmark Tara Emory 2010).  You need a pair of scissors. You buy a pair of scissors, but you need a pair to cut the packaging to get a pair out.  Thenceforth nothing happens.

Well, nothing any more for the snow.

So other than my car problems (which sorted themselves out by Monday) I’ve managed to take the week to get back in touch with some artwork I had made a an 11 year old, and was able to distill the creative process down to a simpler essence.  I took the last few days to go back to a happy place (yeah, my childhood was actually pretty happy )and now I’m feeling like I can get creative again.

Because it’s been hard to feel sexy or like I wanted to put any effort into being pretty or doing anything as if there was some future coming up.   I’m  happy to report that today i had a pretty lengthy masturbation session which didn’t just involve me being in bed, this involved a little bit of narcissim and self attraction.

Normally that would qualiy as T.M.I but it’s actually good news because it means I feel like this long drought of creativity is coming to an end.

Wether this means I will do some sort of shoot tomorrow or something related to other project, remains to be seen.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, My life | 5 Comments

And it keeps on getting worse and worse.

I don’t even know where to start of what to say.  I’m having a disasterous life  hour by hour.  What happened today was on top of what happened 2 days ago where – my ride to pick up my car which had just had it’s suspension fixed- well  THAT car broke a balljoint and is stranded in a parking lot next door to my house. (because I don’t even have a shovelled out spot in my driveway to put it in).  It’s even weirder that the car that broke down is the same kind of car as mine (both volvo bricks).  One breaks at the exact time another gets fixed.

But seriously, I swear I’m going to kill someone before this winter is over.  Just what happened today seems typical of a day here, and gives you an idea of why I haven’t had a scrap of energy or gumption to feel sexy or figure out how to do a shoot (and anyone who suggests that I do a shoot “out in the snow”, and eat it,  I never want to see snow for the REST OF MY LIFE).

So earlier today I made an effort to see if i should try to get the snow off the roof of my studio.. Rain is coming tonight, and that might make the snow heavy enough for a roof collapse.  I’m assuming since this warehouse building has been up since the 40′s or 50′s it’s probably seem some epic snowdrifts on the roof, so I HOPE to GOD that it hold up.

So after that I went to get the balljoint at Auto Crap or Auto Zone, while I’m in the parking lot I hear my back tire, (which i JUST had replaced a week or two ago) is leaking badly.  I guess I’m fortunate to discover this at a car parts store because I get fix a flat, which  helps, but its still leaking.. I manage to get a few miles to a gas station with an air hose, and go down to the tire shop in town where i bought the tire.  Sadly they’re closed on weekends so I have to wait till monday (because maybe they’ll replace it for free – it’s a mom and pop tire shop, and I do a lot of business there)

My spare is on of those limited use ones with rubber about as thick as balloon rubber, so driving on that is a bad idea.

So i decided to grab a tire off the broken ball joint volvo, stranded in the parking lot next door. The only spot I could put my car in that was level was 2 spots over from the other volvo, with a GIANT HUMINGOUS Ford Excursion of Exclusion of whatever the fuck huge thing it is. It literally takes up the enire space, and I think the width of it overlaps the white lines of the parking spot.  They are that big.  It’s no secret that I HATE trucks and suv’s and I tend to give people in hummer h2′s the finger, just because they exist. but that’s just me.

So I’m changing the tire in the tight space, and I keep bumping my head on the mirror of the Exclusion, because the mirror itself is like a foot long. So I just folded it back, partially in anger, mostly so I don’t keep bumping into it. (and I really did zero damage to it, after it was done I would’ve folded it back)

And I guess the owner was in the Dunkin Donuts and he came out furious that I had “punched his truck”.

Some needledicked kid and I just let him have it. Even accusing him of having a tiny penis! – you know, “Who the fuck needs a car that BIG?” etc etc.. I literally almost got into a fight in the parking lot.

I am so fucking done with this winter, and its ripple effects. The fact I cant even change a tire in my own driveway, etc etc… So done.

Its too bad he didn’t come out and offer to move his truck before I folded the mirror back, because then I would’ve been “please. thank you!” and maybe just made a comment on “geez, your truck is huge!”. but nooooooo, he had to come out all beligerent like I had vandalized his precious fucking truck. which was just enough to set me off.

I am not coping with this winter very well.  For a while there I banged on my car window and screamed and well, made a scene in the parking lot but I don’t fucking care any more.

So this is like every day, and it keeps piling on top of everything else.  Just in the course of a couple of hours, getting a (unfixable with fix a flat) flat tire in the same day as making a failed attempt to get snow off the roof of the studio.  I had to dig something out of the snow, and you dig in the virgin snow a few feet down,and then you step and you foot falls down another 18 inches and you realize how much goddamn snow there is EVERYWHERE.

And tomorrow I’m going to have to replace a fucking balljoint on the other car (because it’s my family’s car and they’re poor, so they always get me to fix things.  And technically I was the one driving the other volvo when the balljoint fell apart – strangely enough, just when we were backing out of the parking space), in the same parking lot.

If we’re lucky we’ll get a window of sunshine and warm temps after the rain blows through.

but with my luck, I’ll probably total my car on the freezing rain on the roads because i feel this responsibility to go into work at the satin doll because maybe I’ll make a few bucks to pay for all these endless problems. I have no doubt that no one will show  up tonight at work, and that I won’t make a nickel.

Fuck my life.



Posted in My life | 5 Comments