Burnt out. But that’s ok, I’m going on vacation…

So I don’t think there will be a website update for this month.  And my message to my fans is “Tough luck, I’m burnt out”.

I’ve been doing this website for 15 years and I’m tired of it.  I’m not in a good place right now.  I seem to be surrounded by unfinished and unfinishable projects.  Most of my energies have gone to working at the Satin Doll 3 nights a week, mostly because there’s a very real threat that it won’t be in business in about a month.  It would simply be one thing if they were considering getting rid of the TS dancers because of all the problems I’ve described before, but there’s an interested buyer in the property, and long story short, if we can’t make it work, the owners will sell.  And seeing as the rats are fleeing the sinking ship, I’m guessing we got about another month and then it’s all done.

However things are not all gloom and doom.  There’s some good of fashioned nightmares to add to that.  I inexplicably decided to start working on part of my house a month ago, without really figuring out how I was going to wrap things up.  So now I’m at this point where I completely lost interest in finishing replacing the floors in what was my second bathroom.  Then on top of that it looks like I won’t have anything bigger than a pair of scissors to cut my grass with everything, even my car seems to be breaking around me and I just want to scream (well, I already have had a few screaming fits) and get the fuck out of here and away from all my problems.

It’s hard for me to see it but maybe there are some things that I really should consider victories, though to me, they just seem like not nearly enough.  I have made some incremental progress on a few outfits, but as of yet that hasn’t translated into any new shoots for my site, which is why I’m saying that I don’t think I’m going to get much done on my site this month.  If anything, I really do need a vacation.  I need to recharge my batteries and be around like minded people and rekindled my interest in fetish and costuming and all that.  I mean, working at the Satin Doll pushes certain buttons but I do admit it can be a bit degrading and I’m not relishing the idea of working there much longer anyway.  If it does close, it’s probably just about the right time for me as I’d rather do performing then sleazy lap dancing anyway.

Thankfully, that vacation I’m speaking of is coming tomorrow, though I’m stressed out just getting everything ready for it, and beating myself up for not getting done nearly the amount of stuff I wanted to do as I planned.

Fuck this, I’m off to Fort Lauderdale for Fetish Factory’s XXth Anniversary weekend.  And yeah, I’m not sure what I’m going to wear.  At the very least, I’m packing “Strawberries and Cream”, “Sugar Rush” and a new variation of “Polka Hearts”.  My biggest concern is how the hell I’m going to pack those gigantic hats safely so they don’t get destroyed in my luggage (it looks like I can, though it means bringing a old-style suitcase just for two hats and whatever squishables I can gently pack around them).

I also did make a new sort of bimbo-themed nano-bikini for the pool party which came out nicely.  I can’t tell you how much I  just want to switch off my brain and be a pretty fucktoy this coming weekend.

Sadly, though I don’t have time to do any shoots with any of these outifts before I go.  And even if I did, the editing process is a 2 day slog so it wouldn’t hit the site until after I got back.

UPDATE-  Anyway, what I wrote up to that last paragraph was on Tuesday, I was admittedly feeling strapped for time, so I actually changed my flight to arrive on Thursday instead of Wednesday.  I had actually accidentally booked my flight a day too early and it had become clear that I really needed one more day before leaving, rather than having one more day sitting around doing nothing in Florida.

And I actually feel a lot better because I got to relax and take the rest of Tuesday off.  And that left Wednesday for tying up loose ends and packing, and actually instead it turned out that I got inspired to finally make that tattoo art I’ve been meaning to make.

Allow me to backtrack a bit.  A while back I made an outfit I’m caling “Cherry Bomb”, and I reached a stopping point with the set, which was a giant set of cherries that I’m going to sit on.

 

And the cherries are these big exercise balls that I haven’t quite figured out how I’m going to attach the stems from them or keep from from moving around while I sit on them.  They’re sitting in my studio right now.  But also I really had my heart set of having some ink on my arm when I did the shoot, even if it wasn’t really a real tattoo.
So I had bought some inkjet printer tattoo paper but hadn’t got around to doing the art I really wanted to do, which is nice because I had that extra day today and finally I was fucking inspired to do something.   I did a first version of the artwork which wasn’t working.  I think all the black outlines around the details which really didn’t need black outlines around them was killing it.
So I scrapped it, forced myself to change my style (and looked at real anime and tattoo art for inspiration), and came up with this:
I was so overjoyed with how this loooked compared to the first version I whipped up another page of smaller tattoos, including one for over the breasts.
Feeling pretty good about what I got accomplished in a day (and pretty much all from inception to completion in a day), I printed out my first sheet, only to have the black ink bleed horribly.. Turns out the paper I bought was for color copiers and laser printers.  FUCK!!  I had spent all day on something I really wanted to have ready to go for Florida and now it was all for not, unless.. Shit I thought, there’s a color copier at Staples and they close in 20 minutes and it’s a 15 minute drive.

So I made it to Staples and got my copies, but I went ahead and used the screwed up-bleeding black copies as a test and tried out some of the temporary tattoos on myself.  The results don’t look half bad, and keep in mind these were made from the messed up prints.

So yeah.. I got some amazing stuff done, but right now the priority is Fetish Factorys event this weekend, then the shoots of me as a inked beauty when I get back.

And with some of the new looks I’m doing, this really is a completely different Tara..
See in in Florida and when I get back!

-Tara

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Winter is not quite over with yet, with “Fireside Sweaterdress” and “Ski Chalet”

Even though I’m enjoying the well deserved spring, I don’t think that diminishes the erotic appeal of my two latest shoots.

One is “Fireside Sweaterdress”, which was a leftover from January, that I didn’t know if I wanted to release or not.  I was in a bit of a technical pickle with the shots.  I was trying to have enough light on me, at the same time as having the fire in the fireplace show up.  The pictures (as they came out of the camera) came out too dark, and I trashed the shoot and instead did “My Fur Closet” instead.

But I futzed with the pictures and I made them work. I was really only left with a few options.  Either forget about the shoot (which had some great poses), restage the shoot (a lot of work I didn’t want to do), or try to make them work.  So I chose the third option.  This of course maent that many of them came out pretty grainy, but it also gives them an interesting film-like quality to them.  It also degrades the color pallate to a very few colors, which somehow worked for this shoot.

The end result it ok, and I managed to salvage 100 of them for my update.  I sorta realized I HAD to have an update since I was distracted a LOT this month.  But still, I had another shoot I really wanted to do, in my spare room that has a very “ski lodge-y” look.  And this shoot continues (and improves upon) the blonde bimbo look of “Fireside Sweaterdress”.


Since I know I’m going to renovate this room sometime this summer, the knotty pine panelling is gonna go, so best to do any shoots requiring knotty pine backdrops NOW.   And though yes, spring is here,  Just imagine we went spring skiing, or better yet, summer skiing in one of those Rocky Mountain states where you can go skiing in the summer.

This time, I strived to get the makeup, lighting and everything perfect- even though it’s mostly a nude shoot when you get right down to it.


Oh, and check out that permagape I’m working on.  There’s a secret to it, but I’m not telling what it is!


So the 100 pictures of “Fireside Sweaterdress” just went up.  And “Ski Lodge” or “Ski Chalet” of whatever I’m going to call it, will go up as soon as I can (with any luck, still ^technically^ in April.)  Then it’s onto a bunch of more fantastical shoots.  I’ve been busy spring-cleaning out my studio and getting my next sets and outfits in line.  See you soon!

-Tara

Posted in Furs, New shoot! | 5 Comments

Celebrate my birthday with me at The Satin Doll!


Tonight is my big night!  I’m inviting all my friends and fans to come celebrate my birthday with me at The Satin Doll Gentlemen’s Club 35 Aborn St Providence RI tonight!

And yes, it’s true I dance there most Thursdays through Saturdays, I will be cutting back my schedule to special events like this, so I can concentrate on my career and doing more touring and burlesque shows.  It’s possible I may do one night a week, but I feel that I’ve accomplished what I wanted from my experience at the club, and it’s time for me to seek greener pastures.

Now is not the time to be timid.  I’m going big or going home, and it starts with tonight.  Burlesque show!  Showgirl extravagance.  I’m taking over the club tonight because well, someone’s gotta do it.

 

-Tara

Posted in burlesque performances, stripping | 5 Comments

My new shoot “Tabletop Treasure”

So before whatever the Next Big Shoot is (now that it’s warmed up and my studio is far more useable), I just uploaded a simple lingerie shoot featuring my “Holly Golightly” look.

Here are some samples.

It’s a nice shoot, but even I admit it’s hardly ground breaking.  The real fun is in designing whatever I’m working on that’s going to top outfits and concepts like “Strawberries and Cream” or “Sugar Rush“.  Like I’ve been saying for a while, I want to get into the groove of doing like one amazing new shoot a month, then one down-to-earth lingerie shoot, and then probably another shoot that’s a re-imagined old outfit or updated older concept (like Bimbo Peep).

Webcamming is going well on Streamate.  It seems like some of my most popular shows are the ones where I’m just laying naked in bed looking sleepy-eyed and making kissy faces.  But some camshows will be big extravaganzas too.  I figured out that my wifi from my house will reach my studio, and it’s just about strong enough that I can do camshows from there, which opens up a whole play area to use for camshows, like my dungeon equipment and well, porn sets!

And what’s going on with the Satin Doll?  Well, I don’t know.  I had heard some rumors that I reported on, but the word at the club was that none of that was really quite true, so for the moment all I can say that the TS Revue is about as it still is, for about another month.  The club is closing one way or another, and wether it’s sold or it’s going to repoen, it will at the very least be the end of the way things are now.  If it isn’t sold and it simply renovating, then there might be a few TS nights, though I don’t know if it will be more along the lines of a gay bar with some drag shows or what.  It might be that it will cease to be a decent money maker for me (if there aren’t any lap dances or stuff like that), but if it has a decent stage with stripper poles, there is still money to be made in stripping.

However, if it becomes something more akin to Jacques Cabaret, then on one hand it might be a perfect place for me to perform burlesque.  There is also some talk about a new strip club in town might be willing to try a once in a month TS night.  Just as long as they promote it and push it, there IS and audience who will go to it.  You just cant try to do TS nights 7 nights a week and expect the same thing every night.

-Tara

Posted in Behind the Scenes, burlesque performances, New shoot!, stripping | 14 Comments

Webcamming is back!

Well, it took a little while to get the ball rolling, but I’m finally dedicated to getting back on webcam.

A while back I had joined Streamate and Chaturbate but didn’t have the hardware to do it right.  So I’m pleased to announce that I will be doing camshows on Streamate as frequently as I can. (basically I needed a new-er laptop and hadn’t had to budget for that for quite some time)

I’m still in the process of working my way around it, though last Wednesday night I went on and just through people stumbling onto my profile and paying a little here for a few minutes here and there, I almost pretty much paid for the MacBook I had just bought.  Which made me think, “Geez, why didn’t I do this earlier”.  Anyway, better late than never.

So, I have heard that through streamate, I can actually let my own website members can camshows for free, but I have no idea how to do that yet, and it’s going to take some time to learn the ins and outs of how to camshow most effectively.  There are people who have been doing it for years who know a lot of tricks, and when its best to cam, etc.. etc.  I’m hoping it becomes more profitable than the Satin Doll, which I do have some not terribly good news about (which I will leave to another blog post)

So, I’ve got lots of cool ideas for camshows.  First off, I can easily see doing them in costume, and even recreating some of my recent shoots (pirate, strawberries and cream).  I don’t know how much better an elaborately costumes camshow will go over, but the sense I got just from being on Wednesday was “Omg you’re a legend I cant believe you’re on”.

I also have this cool idea where I’d love to do live camshow feeds of my shoots as I am doing them.  I think these would go over really well, and I’d hype them about a week in advance.  Even though I won’t be able to interact with the viewers as much as a regular camshow, these shows of my photo shoots will only happen once in many cases.

Now that spring is finally here, I’m anxious to work back out in my studio on whatever my next big crazy photoshoot will be, and getting back to constantly topping myself with each shoot, and rebranding my career and myself as sort of a living hentai futanari sex doll.  I’ve been getting kinkier and kinkier ideas and I think people are going to go nuts when they see me live in HD with sound and everything.  Also once the leaves and flowers are out, I think people are going to enjoy my outdoor camshows in my backyard!

So Monday evening, April 6th, look for me on streammate.

http://www.streamate.com/cam/Taraemory

-Tara

 

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Webcamming | 3 Comments

Anyone who follows my blog who is a real person and not a spambot…

Reply with a cohesive comment to this post, and I will mark you to NOT be deleted from the database.

Otherwise, I am going through and deleting pretty much thousands of users, 99% of which are spambots.  I’ve tried Captcha and all sorts of things and they don’t seem to be preventing spambots from signing up (though they’re preventing them from commenting)

The best I can do is to make a list of users I know are real, and then delete the rest.  In some cases it’s easy to know which ones are spambots – You’ll have jibberish names and jibberish email addresses like “hd.rtg.hd.ghf.gh@163.com”, but some are difficult to tell.

(I don’t know where 163.com is but any user with an email address from there is getting the chop, that’s for sure.)

So, if you’ve never commented on a blog post before, and DON’T want to be deleted, reply NOW.  If  you have replied before, there is no need to reply to this message.

All the real people who respond will be saved, raptured away and your clothes left behind  The others will be LEFT BEHIND!  Or maybe it’s the other way around, and those left behind are the real users, and the annoying spambots will be raptured away!

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 33 Comments

Go Big or Go Home.

What happened?  I was on top of the world there for a week, climaxing in my appearance at New York City’s “The Tranny Strip”, and then all of a sudden, silence.

Well, I got sick.  Really sick.  Really, really, really sick.

I’m not sure if I overdid things or not, but starting on St Patrick’s Day I attended a birthday party for Bella Vendetta at the Anthony’s Gentelmen’s club, then I had three profitable and confident days dancing at The Satin Doll (Thursday, Friday and Saturday).

The DJ at Satin Doll remarked how at one point when I walked off the stage I oozed confidence, and I was sure that the next day at Tranny Strip I was going to kill it as a feature dancer and special guest.

But it didn’t happen that way.  I left work early on Saturday night, got plenty of sleep, and left for NYC at noon, doing the 200 mile drive in about 4 hours.  This was my first time working The Tranny Strip so my plan was to drive in, dance and make money, and drive home at the end of the night.  And all things considered, it was probably the best plan.

Now of course, lots of people seemed to want to meet me outside of the club while I was “in town”, and there was a lot of questions as to why I wasn’t staying longer, or at least staying overnight.  Well, it was mostly a question of money.  Money is tight and taxes are coming up, and so driving there and taking an hour to find a free parking spot on the street (Yes, they do exist in NYC if you’re patient),and then driving home – was really the best option considering that I had no idea if I was going to make much that night at all.

The other problem was that, on the drive down, I could tell that I was in the beginnings of a cold or flu, and I didn’t feel top of the world lie I really needed to be.  But it was too late to back out of it, so I pressed on.

The night itself was decent.  Income wise, it was not the big bonanza that I had hoped for, but then again, my mood was growing worse and worse knowing I was just getting sicker.  I did about as well as a good night at the Satin Doll, so some respects, I could’ve just stayed at home and made the same amount of money.

Perhaps I would have done better if I hadn’t been on the cusp of getting sick.  I had also told them that I was just going to dance and strip and not do a burlesque show, yet after saying that more than twice, they kept billing my performance as a burlesque show.  So I had to cobble something together on an unknown stage and it went OK.

Funny thing is that I had becme used to the setup at the Satin Doll, where they have two stripper poles on a central stage, where guys surround it, sitting at a ledge called a “tip rail”.  The venue of the Tranny Strip was the opposite of that!  The stage is only slightly higher than the audience, and lets just say it’s not that condusive to milking the audience out of their dollar bills.  And there are no stripper poles on the stage.  There is one in the back near the bar, but I tried a few pole tricks on it and soon realized I was kicking patrons near the bar because it was fairly tight back there.

In fact, the way the venue is made, it’s almost perfect for a few of the performances I have done in the past.    This is one of the things I am learning as a performer, that you can’t be sure of how any venue is going to be set up.  This trip to the Tranny Strip was meant to be like a reconnaissance mission – a little dip of my toe in the water before I jump in all the way at a later date.

You can’t ever be sure what a venue is going to be like until you’re there.   Years back, I did a showgirl performance on an event on a boat, to discover that not only was there no place to get dressed (like they had an extra room somewhere- sorry!), but the ceilings were about 7 feet high meaning my showgirl headdress kept whacking the ceiling.

So the night didn’t go quite as well as I had planned, but I still came out on top, whereas if I had paid for parking and a hotel and all that, I probably would’ve just about broken even.  But I did leave armed with the knowledge that if I’m going to DO New York, I realy ought to GO BIG.  Because (and this may have been my own perception, as when I get sick, the first thing to sour is my mood) I didn’t feel like I was like any of their other dancers there.  The New York tgirls are very attractive in a different way than me, and well, how can I say it without sounding negative..   it’s like they all come out of a factory where they are all trying to look like Kim Kardashian, and well, that’s simply not me.  I did meet a few interesting people, and had some fun, but I sure felt like a fish out of water, or a country girl lost in the city.  I tried about 3 or 4 looks that night, not feeling that any of them were getting me any dances.  At one point I was becoming so negative I actually started to doubt wether being a sex worker was something I really wanted to aspire to.  That’s really not the right state of mind to be in when you’re at a place like this.

I don’t know.  Like I said, I was starting to feel sicker and sicker, and once 2 am rolled around (when the night was supposed to be over), they announced that they would be open till 4 am, but by then I had given all I could, and I got in my car and went home.

By 5:30 AM I was back in my own bed (and let’s be honest, if I had stayed in town, I probably wouldn’t've gotten enough sleep anyway, if I had to check out by 11am), wondering if I had made a mistake by going in the first place.  You see, when I get a bad bad cold, it really affects my thinking, and I had 2 or 3 days after that where I couldn’t stop my brain from going round and round in circles.  It’s Friday now and only today I’m starting to feel normal, though I’m not fully recovered yet.

So, I DO want to do Tranny Strip again, certainly now that I know how to play to my strengths.   Probably I’m best off doing my wacky off the wall burlesque shows there, more as publicity, and don’t try to compete with the Kardashian clones.  I know I have “stage presence” and “star quality”, this club seems like the sort of place where I should just show up in my crazy outfits and be memorable- as more of a publicity stunt than trying to be something that I’m not.

I dunno, I’m still sort of sick so it’s still coloring my perception right now.  Jeez, I only today just took my first bath since Saturday.  I’ve barely eaten all week and my house is a mess and things have gone neglected all week.  I’m only starting to get back to normal but I feel like I lost a lot of momentum.  That seems to be how my luck is, that whenever I get some momentum going, something happens to whack me in the ankles and set be back a few steps.  I wish I could say I “took a week off”, but it’s not like I did anything fun this last week.  Sitting in bed trying to sleep and hoping that NyQuil will just knock me unconcsious for 3 days straight isn’t much of a vacation.   Honestly I would have rather have been in a coma.

I’ll report in a few days when I figure out what I’m doing next.

-Tara

Posted in Behind the Scenes, burlesque performances, travel, Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Headlining the Tranny Strip in NYC 3/22 and possibly 4/26!!

Yes, copy and repost this flyer!

So guys, (and gals too) I’m gearing up for my big debut at the Tranny Strip at Headquarters Gentlemen’s Club in NYC coming up this Sunday.

I got on board the March event a little bit late for them to make me the “headliner”, as they have a bunch of other porn stars as their big names, plus I suppose it would’ve been bad form to look like I was bumping them from the top spot or anything.  This is my first time doing the Tranny Strip, so there are a lot of unknowns involved.

So, the basics are this:

I’m just driving into town, doing this event and driving back, lest something interesting comes up after the club.  But mostly my intent is to strip and lapdance, make some good $ and really that’s pretty much it.  I’m getting a lot of guys sending me emails who want to see me outside of the club or meet me at other bars or whatever and all I can say is that if you want to meet me, just come to the damn club I’m going to be at, okay?  I mean, like seriously, you know where I’m gonna be, just show up.  If I had a nickel for the amount of guys who wanted to see me here or there who chickened out, I’d be rich today.  So no, I’m not going to change my plans for a bunch of maybes or complete strangers.

In addition, I won’t be doing a “burlesque show”, at least not this month.  Mostly because I’m not prepared for it, but also because I’ve never been to this venue, and I hate preparing for things where there’s too many unknowns.  I don’t know the parking situation.  For all I know I have to park miles away and take a cab, and then carrying big feather fans it becomes a disaster.  Plus you never know what the dj will do about your music.  Let’s say you are going a performance to a special edit of a song or something, and you bring in a cd.  Some DJ’s cant do anything with that (which is unacceptable as far as I am concerned).

I recently heard a horror story about a burlesuqe performer who practiced a routine to a song for weeks for an event and the dj wouldn’t accept the cd, instead he downloaded the version of the song off the internet and only when the girl did the performance, realized the guy had edited the song down and she basically missed all her cues.

Also for all I know, the place could have 8 foot high ceilings and I’d soon discover I can’t do something or other with a huge outfit.  I once did a huge event which was on a boat, to discover very quickly there was no such thing as a dressing room and the ceilings were 7 feet high.  Not to say this club is a boat, but you never know what  you’re going to get.  Maybe this club has no stage for all I know.

Anyway-  I’ll be there doing the basic strip club thing.  With any luck the club will see I’m bringing in a crowd of admirers and allow me to do more next month.  So come out and see me, have a drink or two and some intellegent conversation as well.  And yeah, a filthy lap dance or more in the champagne room!

-Tara

PS,  Just released a 49-picture mini-set called “The Vacation Affairist”, which was one of the leftover shoots I had from a while back. I decided to leave it as it’s own shoot, and not combine it with another one..

Posted in Behind the Scenes, burlesque performances, My life | 2 Comments

The daunting task of redoing most of the older galleries? (oh my)..

Okay, this is going to be a mammoth undertaking!

You know how the movie industry wants you to throw out all your old DVDs and get high def Blu-rays of all the movies you already own?  Well, HAHAHHAHAHAHA!! Prepare to feel treated the same way on my site!

No but really, in all honestly, you, the humble consumer will be the one benefitting the most, while I will most likely have my posture suffering and see my eyeballs burst into flames from countless hours at the computer, as I basically re-process and re-edit nearly all my shoots from 2003 to 2009.

What’s that you say?  Redoing everything?   Why?  Well, It’s like this.  Previous to 2003 my primary digital camera was actually a 1 megapixel still camera built into a Sony mini DV camcorder (one megapixel is like 800 x 1200 originals) .  It gave fine results for the time, but weren’t we all viewing sites on 13 inch CRT monitors and oh my, 640 x 480 final resolution was BIG!

Sometime in 2003 I started to employ real photographers because I was unhappy with the results of my crappy camcorder cam, so there are a few pre-September 2003 shoots that can be re-worked from larger originals.  Beginning with “Here Cums the Bride” in 2003 my original shots came from the blazing 4 megapixels of the first Canon Powershot G-series camera I bought (which had the flip out screen and wireless remote/delay which works very well for self shooting, a technique I still use today).

Back in the mid 00′s I was paying server fees for bandwidth and I do recall having my server cost something like hundreds upon hundreds of dollars a month, so I made a concious effort to keep the file size of the final JPEGS down quite a bit. Also, at the time the final processed edited shots being at 600 x 900 seemed generous for the time.

Fast forward many years later and things have changed considerably.. I still use aCanon Powershot, with originals at 7mp (2304 x 2272 original size).  Of course, during the editing process there is some cropping involved but long story short, – the originals of most of the work I did back then are much bigger than the final versions you see on the site.

Since about 2009 I realized that some people have HUGE monitors and also some people prefer to zoom in on the photos, so as I edited new shoots I’ve been slowly upping the resolution of the final shots to the point where it’s about 1800 pixels on the longest size, which is where I am now.  My intention and focus on the power of the still photograph invites the viewer to get lost in the details.

And nowadays my server has unlimited bandwidth and a much much cheaper flat rate that I pay, so final picture size is really a moot point (assuming theres enough pixel information to start with).  The only point is oh my god what a ton of work to re-do all those shoots.  But that’s what I’d like to do, just slowly.

The only thing is I’m not even sure it’s work that I want to jump back into.  Looking at these old shoots.. Eh… some of them quite frankly suck.   But some of them can be saved and even punched up a couple of levels with some creative cropping and rotating.  Here’s a few examples, and this isn’t even punched up as much as I could.

as opposed to this:
Now of course if your computer monitor is re-sizing these photos to fit, you really won’t see much difference on the more vertical shots.  It’s a bit more effective on the horozontal shots:
to be replaced by this:

One big issue is that I will have to resist the temptation to alter these photos with any photoshop trickery that I didn’t use back in the day. Oh, I could increase my breast size if I wanted to but that would be a tad bit disingenuous. Hopefully I will uncover some lost gems though.

In the process of searching through some of these old sets, I have found bits and pieces that fell by the wayside.  There was this old shoot I did in 2004 called “Green Gingham” that isn’t really my best one, but apparently I did a whole bunch of pix on the back porch and somehow it didn’t fit in with the rest of the shoot.  So there may be some previously  unreleased stuff that finally sees the light of day.

There’s also a good chance that there’s a shoot or two where the buttons to access them got accidentally deleted, though the shoots are still on the website.

So last night the first thing did to prepare for this was I actually split off the 2012 and 2013 shoots off into their own galleries, and I’m cleaning up the code and scouring the site for bad links and html errors.  Until I have more 2015 shoots, I will keep them with the 2014 shoots, so that page of “recent galleries” doesn’t look to sparse.

and I still got a bit of margin/centering issues here I gotta clean up.  I might dress up the background a bit more and fancy it up a bit more.
Anyway, back to the upscaling project- how will you know when all this work is done?  I’m not sure.  Right now I’ve been randomly selecting shoots as I feel like it and I even replaced a few of the low-res shots with new versions in the higher quality.  If  you go to “Cherry Pie” (from 2003 I think) there’s a few shots that are mysteriously larger for no apparentl reason.

Even then, I could've gone bigger!

I think instead of uploading these in dribs and drabs I’m going to try to wait until I have a whole years’ worth of a gallery of photos done up in the higher resolution, and then upload that all in one go. I will likely change the gallery buttons (to something larger and nicer, without the white hazy borders) for each year that’s been changed.  And the number of pictures in each gallery might also change as I pick completely different shots and work up ones I might have overlooked the first time.  Once I get to the 2006/2007 galleries, the change in size will be the most noticable because the originals were even higher quality then.  When and if I get around to the 2010 ones, I’m not sure the upscaling will be that noticeable, because at some point around then, the finals went from 950 to 1200 to 1300 to 1600 in a few spurts.

The 2006 set polka hearts was one of the first done with the 7mp camera, so I have more information to work with.  The original final was only 950 px high, now is 1800 pixels high.

vs:

The easiest way to tell the new ones is that they will have the newer "Tara Emory" logo

So yeah.  It should breathe some life into these old shoots, which before were just too tiny by today’s standards to really offer that much value to new customers.  And once I’m done, with any luck all of you who belonged to my site in the past will have to re-join!  Moohoohoohahaha!  (okay, so it’s not really a diabolical plan, it’s just good business..)

Now I suppose I shouldn’t even mention how I shot most of my videos since 2011 on HD  but have been editing and releasing it on standard def.. Oh no Tara, looks like I know what I will be doing there for another year…

-Tara

PS. Interestingly enough, looking at these old shoots I notice just how flat chested I was, how curvy my body shape isn’t, and how much I don’t yet seem to know about doing my makeup.  I have come a long long way in 10 years.  And looking at some of these old outfits I know I will be reminded of how I should do some new shoots in them as well (like I did with Ho Peep).  I can easily see doing a new set of “Polka hearts” and even “Cum Scout”..  So what do you all think?  Is it worth it to upscale these old shoots?  Or just leave them be and concentrate on the new stuff?  In an ideal world I will do both. Sadly, I can’t just batch process the size part from the old finals, I have to work from the originals, which means photoshopping out all the pimples, razor burns and boob job scars like I always do..

Posted in Behind the Scenes, Uncategorized | 5 Comments

What’s a famous star like you doing in a dump like this?

I get asked this often while at the Satin Doll.  Not that it’s a dump- I actually like the decor of the place, and I find it’s cozy, and sleazy in a boudoir-ish way (though IMHO they could push that further).

Still, I find that when I work there, about once a week I get someone who recognizes me, or who has come just to see me.  Yeah, I like that.

But sometimes (and this is the most amusing) I get guys who meet me, and we chat a bit.  I introduce myself as Tara.  Either after some time in conversation, or after I divulge that I’m “..Tara Emory, check me out on the internet..”, they’re stunned to meet me (having heard of me and thinking I’m far too big to be in that place, and even moreso, some guys completely do not believe it’s me, forcing me to actually whip out my phone and show them things like behind-the-scenes shots of my photosets and outfits.

Famously years back (and this was like maybe 2005) I was accused of impersonating myself when I randomly stopped at Jacques Cabaret in Boston.  I believe the guy I met was like “You know who you look like? You look like Tara Emory”.  To which I replied “Well, that’s because I am Tara Emory”, and well, they didn’t believe me.

Apparently people either think I’m famous, or they haven’t heard of me at all.  There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground though. It’s very strange.  And yes, I will admit that the narcissist in me gets her ego stroked when I am recognized.  If I’m having a shitty week where no one recognizes me,  it affects everything, and I’ve been through some rough patches the last few years where I’ve felt like I was washed up or god, time to pack it all up and fade away or whatever.

But anyway, back to the Satin Doll.  What am I doing in a sleazy place like this? Aren’t I better than this?  Well for everything there is a reason.

What I’m doing is getting back to the basics of feeling sexy, and (pardon the pun) stripping down my act to the bare bones before I go and add all the crazy costumes and props.  Its a sound strategy, I hope.

You see, back a few years back I decided burlesque performances was the logical conclusion of my live appearances in my signature outfits.  I recall going to substandard fetish events in amazing outfits and being the best dressed there, even  blowing away whatever performances were going on at the venue.  It seemed like a better thing to do was to save that amazingness for a show.  So I did shows in LA, Montreal, Jamacia, etc. etc.  I had great ideas and how shall we put it- very animated and kinetic props.

In Jamacia, here you can see my practicing my lack of eye contact with the audience..

And not to say that each performance was a train wreck but I felt that I was certainly putting the cart before the horse, trying to make a production out of mostly my outfits and my concepts and my reputation, while seeming pretty shaky on stage.  I had ambitious plans but in most cases I felt the excecution left a lot to be desired.

Look at the audience Tara!!!!!!

At first I assumed this was because I was too old, or not athletic enough and I couldn’t help being insulted just a tad bit when I’d meet a 21 year old kid who was “doing burlesque for 10 months” and declared herself an “expert”.   Okay, fine, so I can’t do backflips and I’m no contortionist.  But I knew I had something if only I could perfect it.

So yeah, this, but better- is the goal.

And then this gig came up at the Satin Doll.  I’ve always dreamed of pole dancing and stripping and lap dancing, and even though it took some oh, how shall we say it – setting my dignity off to the side- in order to give complete strangers lap dances, it appealed to a certain dark and dirty part of my psyche.  But in the back of my mind I knew I could perfect my stage dancing skills and stage presence most of all.

And my first night was a terrific ego boost.  I realized I WAS in good physical condition, and that I DID have great stage presence, and I have things about my personality that draw people in and bring them right to the stage.  The pole dancing has done wonders to my physique and while I won’t pretend that I have the flexibility that a teenage girl would have, I’m nowhere as bad as I thought I was.  Also, once I found the right music to dance to, it made all the difference in the world.

Plus, my lap dancing skills have improved and damn, I’ve got my cooing in your ear and pornstar squeals own pat.  I can’t wait for those inevitable (ahem, hardcore)porn videos that I will likely do later this year because yeah, I got it, I still got it, and even better, I probably have got more of it now more than I did before, because in so many ways, I have been perfecting this for 15 years.  With porn, people assume you’re washed up when you hit 21, but I’m here to tell you there are skills of seduction that you can only learn over time and with experience.  That might make me officially a “cougar”, hey, whatever.  When I was growing up the women I was attracted to the most were in their late 30′s and 40′s and rather commanding and in charge of their lives and careers, not annoying bubbly 19 year old airheads concerned with their phones and thinking everything will come to them just because they are pretty.

Ah, well, my strange relationship with “bimbofication” is a topic for a whole other blog post, but I’ll stick to the subject for now.

To put it more simply, I’ve been taking a crash course on the basics of sexy dance, and also making a little bit of money off it at the same time, which really came in handy in a jam.  I’m still not quite out of that financial jam yet, but I’m getting on top of it.

Oh, and yeah, BEWBS.  I can’t underplay how much my new TITS have also helped my confidence.  They are wonderful and I’m so glad I have done them.  I didn’t raise quite enough that I needed for them, so I had to finance the rest, but you could also say that these BOOBYLONS have paid for themselves.

Life is always better in DD's. Well in my business it can only help.

All this means that I’m actively looking to re-expand my burlesque career and general career as a transsexual model and personality.  The hard part is finding the time from shoots and this gig to find out where to shop my act around to.  I am literally a one person show, and I have never had a manager or someone else to help me (well, I have had offers, but usually from unqualified persons).

I will be very actively exploring all avenues.   Right now my spring appearances include the Tranny Strip NYC on March 22nd, and some other venues that are up in the air a bit.

Yes, copy and repost this flyer!

I’m also debating as to – in the search for more venues – wether I embrace the drag club culture and wether they would find me a draw.  It’s a double edged sword because as a transwoman wanting to be accepted as a sexy female, most of the time drag isn’t sexy.  But at the same time I understand that a lot of my fan base has overlap, and also since I have an emphasis on showgirlishness (if that’s a word) and outfits, it might not be a bad route to explore.  Plus there are far, far more gay and drag clubs out there than TS stripclubs or burlesque clubs open to TS performers.

Because you know this will go over well in that scene.

So I have a lot of options open and I’m just going to go for them all and see what works!  So I’m very open to suggestions as to venues in all parts of the country, and I’ll start making some calls and sending some emails!

-Tara

Posted in Behind the Scenes, My life | 8 Comments