Where was I? Part 4: Oh No! Tara Emory discovers snap filters and nothing will ever be the same!

Ok, so this isn’t really my next “big project” (leave that for part 5), but it’s worth mentioning.

So I have been trying a few other places to show my pictures, and Onlyfans seems to be a good place to put up some exclusive content.   And yes – I know – my memberships for www.tara-ts.com are currently in the crapper.  Right now membership site business models don’t work very well, and my  site needs, hmm.. how shall we say it… some better mobile/tablet connectivity.

That is all being worked on, once I get some other crap out of my way first.  Oh, you can read all about the other crap in the other 4 or 5 installments of the “Where was I?” series.

But in the meantime, I had some fun uploading some selfies to my OnlyFans page. and oh what selfies they are, because I have finally succumbed to the temptation of using those in-camera filters to -ahem- really add to that distorted hentai reality.Actually these are just shots I banged out as I did Chaturbate shows this autumn, and somehow I love them even more than some of the stuff I produce for my website.
Sure, the filters make me look positively ageless, but that’s part of the appeal.  I’m still tweaking the settings, but it seems that if you start off with a brightly colored, amazing outfit and overdone makeup, what the filters do to it really works better, than if you just applied those filters on someone with  no makeup wearing normal clothes.
A lot of this is just trying “looks” for future shoot, as all the other crap in my life seems to creep up when you least expect it.

Oh crap, how’d that picture sneak in? Is that a pile of fucking car parts I need to sift through while I’m cleaning out my studio?  Oh geez, how’d I end up with all that shit?  Better go back inside and just lose myself in Candyland instead.  Excuse me…

Ah yes, much better, but I think I can go a bit dumber.  What do they call this face again?


So even though these pictures are part of my Onlyfans content, I think a collection of them might hit the members site as some sort of update.


There’s plenty of them, but it’s annoying that they work best on a phone-based website and it’s kind of hard to wrap around my head that there’s quite a few people willing to buy this content separately even though for sheer volume of content, my site has Onlyfans beat.

If there is one huge drawback to taking these selfies, it’s that I’m limited by how far away I can reach, unless I get some sort of selfie-stick.  These are sort of a quickie way to let people know that I’m going live on cam.  However, with demise of tumblr as an adult platform (more on that later), I’m not sure where else you will see these pictures, except onlyfans and my site…

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Where was I? Part 3: Renovation Hell.

Yeah, most of my energy this autumn was sucked up by my renovation projects.  I think I probably stated it in a previous post that I had changed homeowners insurance companies and my new company had an impossible litany of things they required to have done, in order to, I guess, keep me on as a customer.  Ha! I thought, I’ll just take my business somewhere else, right?  Alas, no.  Even when I tried that, any new prospective companies asked if the work had been done, ( I guess it was on my permanent file or something).

As it turned out, this was terrible timing.  I own my fixer upper 250 year old house and its nearby garage and shed, but I rent out my studio, which belongs to the same folks I bought the house lot from.   Those people, in turn, wanted me to put in an offer on the studio.  But because of zoning and the economic downturn in general, what they wanted for the studio was just too much, and I came to the conclusion that for whatever a downpayment on it would be, just that in itself would make a halfway decent, brand new studio in my own yard.  And as it turned, out, I was being railroaded into doing thousands of dollars of work on my own property, so I wouldn’t have ever afforded it anyway.

Plus, the banks all laughed at me.  Even they told me it would be a stupid idea to buy the studio.  So I was left with this plan.  Make my repairs to my outbuildings, and then use that for storage for whatever crap I had accumulated in the studio.  And oh, what crap that was!

You see, I fell into the trap of having a big studio space and just filling it full of stuff for future projects.  So now the race was on, as I had to not only clean and throw away tons of stuff, I had to let go of projects, try to “use up” everything I wanted to do something with, and at the same time, spend every goddamn penny on my own buildings, hoping to fuck that it would shut up the insurance company.  Anyway, I think I did ok, but I’m still not really out of the studio yet (more on that later)

So first off, I have a little shed, and it needed to be finished up a bit at least so I can store stuff in it.  Here’s some photos.  Not very exciting stuff, but anyway..

Don’t worry, between that stage where it looks like something from the architectural firm of Sanford And Sons with that hodgepodge of plywood bits, to the finished shingles, there’s like Tyvek and all that.   The insurance company wasn’t really making me finish my shed, but I was sorta looking for some instant gratification, and well, it does make a cute little Tiny House.

But truth was, I was kicking the can down the road with what truly needed to happen on the garage.  This year was very rough on it, and the roof hadn’t been redone in 40 years and was so rotted, it leaked badly and you couldn’t walk on it.

And yes, this is a 150 year old carriage house that sits on loose fieldstones.  Nothing about it is “up to code” whatsoever.  It is what it is. It also turns out that one wall of it is also the border between me and the neighbors, which means its seriously  grandfathered in regards to the whole you-can’t-do-new-construction-16-feet-from-the-property-line.

Suffice to say, most contractors wouldn’t touch this thing, period, and all the advice I was given said this:  If you knock it down, you can’t put another garage there.  As this is at the end of my driveway, I don’t not want a garage there.  Also, if you did hire someone to repair it, the costs would be somewhere in the untold tens of thousands of dollars to fix it, so the best option was to slowly repair what I could, and just work on it a little bit at a time.

So there was rip off the roof little by little and add in new rafters and planks.  This was where I learned all about a wonderful place called a sawmill, where you can buy 2x6s that are actually 2 x 6!
A rotted corner was knocked out, and replaced with some salvage wood.
Once that whole side was solid (and it’s like stupid solid now-, 2×6 studs but then the outer wall is an inch thick on top of that), the whole wall was sheathed with that OSB stuff, adding another 1/2 inch or so to it.
Then a zillion cedar shingles later  the end result looks pretty sweet.
The roof was a LOT of work to get it super solid, and I replaced about half the wood and added extra rafters and its about as good as it can possibly get.
And yeah, I know, there are professionals who do this, but I know this whole thing would’ve cost me like $30,000 if I had to hire a band of bozos to do it, and no, you couldn’t just do the roof without doing the walls.  the walls needed to be solid enough to have  a solid enough floor above so that you could stand on something to work on the roof.   Instead of spending $30k (which I don’t have, and I doubt any bank would have given me anyway), I only maxed out my credit cards which only really had hundreds of dollars of room left on them.

Actually, I wanted to work on this all year, but the weather this whole summer and fall has been like rain 2 days, sunny one day, and nothing ever dried out.  Everything came to head the 3rd week of December when we actually had a sunny, but cold stretch of days.    By the end, all I could see when I closed my eyes was this:

And all my joints ached and hurt.  People sometimes notice how fit I am and think I go to a gym.  I’m always puzzled by that. Go to a gym?  You’re fucking kidding me. I actually WORK and do things.

So my renovations are mostly done, for now. There were other things on their list but I told them I’m not making holes in my house in the middle of winter.  Plus, I’m really exhausted.  I can only write about it a few weeks later because the fog is lifting now.

Is it perfect? No.  But then again, on an old building like this, it’s like as Kitty Foreman from That 70’s Show said, “Choose Your Battles”  If someone bitches about me not using the proper nails or not having a vapor barrier or proper venting in my roof, well go look at my foundation where you can grab a stone out of it and wiggle it free. It’s not like the whole building is gonna come down.

Yeah…. I know y’all out there think I’m some delicate flower because half of the time, I tend to look like this…

…but yeah…. I’m a bit more hardcore New Englander that you think.    Add to this that I’m barely supporting myself off my art, and well, this was the situation I had to resolve before getting on with whatever the next thing is…

Which is??… Stay tuned for part 4…

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Where was I? Part 2: Video updates

So “Polkadot Perfection” hit the site in November, (October? I don’t recall), and that’s when the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan with the whole I’m-losing-my-studio-and-have-to-get-tons-of-crap-done situation.   I had lots of video shoots in the can, so between November and well, today, January 6th, I had something like 6 new videos hit the site.  “Scarlet Fever”, “Dripping Latex Doll”, “Flamingo Fuckdoll”, “Bitch Skool”, and “Trophy Blonde” were all videos that are new.  Some of them were shot 8 months ago, and some shot in like September.

Actually, despite “Trophy Blonde:The photoshoot” coming out a year or so ago, the video shoot was a re-mount using all the props I had while I still had them all.

And because I’m lazy and don’t want to drag up pictures from these video shoots, here’s some seizure-inducing gifs instead…

But back to the cleanup.  As my followers may or may not know,  I’m going to lose my studio by the end of the year.  So I needed to get any video work I wanted to do, and that’s why this rather large backlog got built up.  In the process of cleaning, I had to let go of quite a lot of props from past shoot, including this thing, whatever this thing actually is.  It’ not really a bomb or a torpedo, but that didn’t stop it from playing one in a porno.

The idea behind “Bitch Skool” is that I had this nice laminate floor in an office room I built in my studio, so it was nice to use up that area too, and turn it into a school room. Once the shoot and the video were done, the room itself came down, and the desk itself also went into the scrap metal pile

I did however, rescue that yellow 50’s tanker desk, but I had to get it apart to put in storage.  The reason for keeping all the building materials is that I was under something of a deadline to to some work on a garage and a shed at my  house.  As it turns out, the garage and shed needed to be finished anyway so that I’d have storage space for my lots and lots of stuff.  So a lot of November and December was spent doing siding and roofing, and all this climaxed a few weeks before Christmas, and I will say it was exhausting work.  But I will leave those details for Part 3 of this update series.

But now I’m fresh out of videos, and I had hoped to make more before my January 1st deadline.  But as it is, it turns out I pretty much have access to my studio until.. well.. until the owners sell it to someone else, and I can’t imagine that will be any time soon.  That day might come in a week, or in 6 months.  But for now, let’s move along to show you what has really been taking up all my time and energy this fall..

-Tara

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Where was I? Part 1: Polkadot Perfection

Hey all.  It’s been a rough couple of months.  I’m not sure where to start, but seeing as I haven’t made a blog post since mid-October, I guess I’ll start with what I have gotten done since then, instead of lamenting about whatever I would have liked to have gotten done  by now.

First off, somehow it escaped my blog that I had a new shoot, “Polkadot Perfection”.

This outfit is rather standard fare for me.  Yadda yadda, we’ve seen this sort of stuff before, but then again, a lot of my fans are like “MORE!” and even if that’s more of the same, well, it is a good shoot.
The set for “Polkadot Perfection” was thrown together with whatever I had, and some red polkdots for the background (which I had to spray paint red too).    So now that I’m done, the red dots can go in the bin, and then someone took back their inversion table (that thingy on the left which ended up too complicated to even use in a shoot, unless I was like getting dominated or something).

The St Andrews cross, however, would live on a little longer for the next big project…

-Tara

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Nothing natural about me, I’m “Artificially Flavored”!

 

AcCan’t get enough Red Dye #5 and Yellow Dye #3 in your diet?  Than rot- I mean, – sink your teeth into my new shoot, “Artificially Flavored”!


Actually  this outfit has been done for about a year but I hadn’t put all the set pieces together to make a background I liked enough to go with it.

  For a change I used natural lighting (as opposed to strobes/flashes) because I had a lamp in the background that I wanted to show up as lit.  Usually when you use strobes they lind out any other hot lights you have on the set.  Anyway, the results were sorta of mixed, with some graininess to the photos I’m not too happy with.  Mostly they’re ok though.
Originally this shoot had 182 pictures that I shot with my regular cameras, but an experiment I also self-shot a bunch on my iphone with some pretty heavy fog/beautifying filters.  Granted, yes, they are blurry and a bit lower resolution, but have an amazing atmosphere and sense of spontaneity to them.  That bring the full total for this set up to a whopping 219 pictures.
As usual, and even moreso since the clock is ticking on my studio space (I have it till the end of the year, after which I only have my house to shoot in), I’m very busy cranking out a big backlog of content.  But “Artificially Flavored” is a shoot that I shot in my house, which goes to show you that, as it’s been said – “All you need to shoot porn is a warm room”.

Which means studio or no studio, I’ll manage either way.

Enjoy this new set.  The next one will be up in about a week!

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 6 Comments

“Steam Doll”, plus some new videos

Heya.  Things have been going a little slow here at my studio, but cooler temperatures have arrived and it’s finally the ideal time to crank out a bunch of content.

A while back I mentioned somewhere on social media that I wanted to do a sequel to “National Pornographic” and so this is the result.  “Steam Doll”.  Actually, I had some different plans that used more of the original outfit bits (the full corset and puffy white sleeves), but for some reason I went with this new open bra and garter belt set as a different enough version.  If there’s one thing people notice about my shoots is that if I shoot in the same outfit, I do like to change it up a bit.

So the main different bit is that hat of course, which I can admit was something I  bought at Savers (!) and hot glued some gears on it.  Yep, it’s not really that much more difficult than that.  Actually, now that Halloween is approaching, it does remind me that there are things available in stores that might be harder to find at the rest of the year, so time to stock up for future concepts!

So I just posted the full set up on my site, which came out to 182 pictures.  And since I was thinking of making another variation on this, I might see if there’s another steampunk-y sort of thing I can do while this set is up.

Also included in this update, are the videos for “Diamond Disco” and “Red Domina”.  I have several more videos in the can that I haven’t edited yet, but will be doing soon.  And I also have another shoot planned for this week, so I will be getting back to more frequent updates!

-Tara

 

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

“Flamingo Fuckdoll” and “Bitch Skool”

“Once more, into the breach!”  Well more like “Once more, into the pink and white striped background! ”      Okay, well with added green polkadots that is.
This costume is a new spin on the old “Pinwheel Pasties” outfit from waaaay back in 2012  This variation adds pink and white stripes, a collar, more pinwheels and just an overall amplification on the pink over-the-top hentai look.

Yeah, I know, it’s a look that I’ve done a zillion times before, but this is a nice spin on it and moving from the direction from reality to fantasy (the best way I can describe the main difference between the ’12 and ’18 version).

This shoot went up today, Aug 18th and there is also some video shot that’s being edited right now (It will be a upcoming update with videos of “Red Domina” and “Scarlet Fever”).  Not every shoot will be like this,  so if it’s not your taste, just wait a little while, maybe the next one is to your liking..
So I think I might have mentioned that I had been trying to get ahead of the game, as I’m not sure if I am going to lose my available studio space before securing/building a new space.  The best thing for me to do now is to crank out as much content.  Hence an early sneak peek at my back-to-school shoot “Bitch Skool”.

Okay okay, so it does have pink hair and some hentai overtones, but it’s still very different from “Flamingo Fuckdoll”.
I think this shoot came out excellent and it will come out either in the end of August or the beginning of September.  There may or may not be another shoot that comes out this week before it.  Depends on how I feel, but at the very least it is nice to be ahead of schedule for once.
See you soon and keep watch for my next video update which will contain videos of (at least) “Red Domina” “Scarlet Fever” and “Flamingo Fuckdoll”.

 

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Workin’ Hard. “Dripping Latex Doll” and “Scarlet Fever”

So, I’m trying not to think too hard about my current predicament with my studio, come what may.  Perhaps I can pull a Hail Mary in my career and manage to buy it, or perhaps it’s far easier and better overall to just build my own backyard garage/studio that I can build perfectly to suit me.  Either way right now the best and most important thing I can do and should do is throw myself into my work.   So that means that every potential shoot I want to do out in my studio, I should do NOW as if I’m going to lose the utility of the building in a matter of weeks or months.  So here’s the first result.

We’ve actually seen this catsuit before, but I’ve dressed it up with some pink latex polkadots and really ramped up the candyland bimbo look and all that.  This catsuit started out life over 10 years ago as something that arrived off a wish list, and it I haven’t thanked whoever it was that got it for me, it was only because the paper trail to figure out who got it for me was extremely hard to follow.  Whomever you are/were I do thank you if that thanks was 10 years too late!

I ended up calling this shoot “Dripping Latex Doll” not just because of the wet look of the latex, but also because I was sweating a lot under those hot lights.  Thankfully you can’t tell from the photos, but I won’t forget that it was hot.

So that outfit actually had been done for a while, but sadly during the shoot I tore a bad gash in the leg of the catsuit.  The latex wasn’t deteriorated or anything, it was just one of those situations where the sweat of my body actually made the latex stick to my skin more than float on top of it.  I should have used a proper lube between my skin and the latex, but I didn’t and that meant that while kneeling for some shots, I stressed it out and ripped it.

The tear in the leg happened  about 1/3 of the way through the shoot, but it didn’t wreck the whole shoot. I just did my best to hide it and in the pictures where it was visible, a little photoshop fixed that up.  You’d never know there was a tear in it if I hadn’t told you.

However, I wanted to wear the outfit out to some club later that night so I managed a quick repair job.. It won’t quite be the same, but it’s fine enough for me.  Considering that adding the pink stripes and polkadots gave a new lease on life to a decade old catsuit, I can’t complain.  While I was out, I did give the people at the gas station something to gawk at.  People were like “Where are YOU going off to???”. To which I replied “A kinky party!”

“Dripping Latex Doll”  went up the last week of July, and as I said, I’m throwing myself into my work.   I’m trying to bang out as much content as I can, while I can, and if I’m lucky that might even mean some weird things might happen like I get my Christmas shoot in the can months before it need to be released.

It actually takes a lot less time to shoot a photoshoot than it does to edit the pictures.  So if I get sets and outfits all ready to go, I can make like maybe 5 to 10 shoots a week if I’m just really efficient about it and don’t get bogged down in worrying about editing them yet.

Technically you’d think that would also mean that I shouldn’t be making any brand new outfits from scratch.  For some reason, that didn’t happen with this next shoot, which I ended up calling “Scarlet Fever”,  And I’m really happy with the results, even if I hadn’t really wanted to make a brand new outfit and brand new hat (probably my 7th or 8th HUGE hat that I so far made).

I had set up some furniture out in the studio in front of my pink/maroon damask wall (its looks like wallpaper but it’s actually a stencil) and found myself unhappy trying to make any existing outfits match it.

I do have this pink and yellow outfit I haven’t done a shoot with, but felt that it wasn’t right for the background.  Something like this needs a background that’s more whimsical and less Victorian, don’t you agree?

Since yellow/pink didn’t feel right, I just made a new outfit from scratch, although much of the raw material I had kicking around for a while.  Most of the flowers I had bought previously, and this pink satin with red polkadots had been waiting around in my pile of fabric for the perfect outfit to come along.

 

So everything kind of came together because if you can probably tell, I’m not the sort of person who would settle for a few random mis-matched pieces of lingerie and make a shoot out of it without paying any attention to the colors in the background or the colors I was wearing.

In fact, the only thing that was out of place on this shoot was that in reality, the oriental rug was mostly blue.  Actually it’s the same rug I used in “Harlequin Romance”

You’d never guess from looking at the pictures, but I just tweaked out all the blue of the rug and pushed it over to a less obtrusive greeny/brown.  If you saw the originals with a blue rug you’d probably agree that that clashed horribly.

Once I got them all done I was unsure of the title for it, as I like to come up with names that instantly remind me of which outfit it was.  I do this because often I use the same patterns for various outfits, and in this case, I believe the corset is the same pattern I used for “Daisy Dick” and “Strawberries and Cream”.  When I think of those names, I know exactly what outfit I’m taking about.  So I could have called this “Red Polkadots” but I’ve done sooooo many outfits with polkadots it would be hard to remember which one.

“Scarlet Fever” was a suggestion from a fan and at first I wasn’t enamored by the name (as yep, it’s a hideous disease with a rash”, I kind of warmed to it eventually,    And I guess this outfit is red spots all over my body so that’s sort of the same thing, right?   In any event, the name stuck and now I can’t think of calling this shoot anything else.  Certainly if I just called it “Slutty Cumdump” I would never know which outfit I was referring to.

That’s sort of the thing about my names for photoshoots.  I actually have a big list of awesome names that immediately conjure up completely different ideas, so many of those names are being saved for future shoots.

Both these shoots came out on my site a good 10 days apart, and I’m trying to stick to a update schedule of 3 updates per month, and sometimes one of those will be an update of videos.   Getting this out in time actually puts me on schedule, and now it’s on to the next batch.  Actually now that I’m caught up, I’m thinking already of my autumn shoots and now it’s time to get ahead of the game!

Because really the best thing for me to do is get ahead and overproduce content in case I don’t have a studio a few months down the road.

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Out of the woods, back in the woods…

Where do I start?  I’m not doing well? I’m doing fine?  I’m energized to do things, but damn I’m tired?  Uhhhh….  I guess I’ll start off in some sort of chronological order here.

So I edited a bunch of video and got that up around July 3rd.  It was a nice flurry of activity which (in my studio which isn’t easy to keep cool in the summer) when we get cool nights I need to take advantage of them.  Sure, there’s an AC unit I can run, but it’s barely adequate and makes a huge electric bill.

This is something of a problem.. If you go on cam in a room that you have to run AC to counteract the hot lights, you better at least make enough money to offset the increase in your electric bill.. But i digress..

But yeah, I got a lot done that week because I’m under a lot of stress.  Again, I don’t know where to start. I might be losing my studio space.  I rent the space at a really low price, but the owners want to sell the building and want me to make an offer.  Trouble is, I’m not nearly as confident about my business plan as I was, say 10 years ago when I moved in and had grandiose plans to take over the trans porn world.

Now, I’m far more cautious.  Maybe I can’t buy this stupid building (it’s a 30′ x 70′ warehouse) after all.  Maybe buying it will just put me more into debt.  I’m doing a rounds to the banks now and see what they say. Maybe somehow I find investors in my business?  I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing, to be honest.

I probably should make a separate post about my studio woes.  I can’t even organize my brain well enough to come up with a plan to be honest.  Because you see, I’m being squeezed on both sides.

I’m not sure how much I told people about this, but i’m in a double world of hurt with my house.  You see, I switched insurance companies last year in the effort to save like $150 a year or something stupid like that.  I was completely fine with the old company but my agent moved me to another company and they sent someone round back in October to like, I guess check on  how many bathrooms I had and all that junk.  Then a few months later, they made a litany of crap that they wanted me to do to the house to improve it’s condition, or else.. or else I don’t know, they’ll drop me, I guess?

Anyway, that short list was something like hire a roofing company to assess the condition of the roofing shingles, which are like 20 years old and a few fell off, and well, you all know that there isn’t a roofing company in existence that isn’t going to tell me that I need a new roof, KACHING!   And then there was a  bunch of siding work they want me to do, which is fine as I planned on doing that anyway.  Most of what they want me to do are things I already planned to do, but I had hoped to get another few years out of the roof, at which point I would be more than happy to hammer on another layer of roofing shingles.  The house is 250 years old and the rafters are 4 feet apart and the boards spanning the rafters sometimes have spaces between them, so the job really needs to be done by hand and not by a team of bozos with nail guns.

I’m sure if I paid for all this work to be done, it would cost tens of thousands of dollars and yay, I’m sure glad I switched companies just to save me $150 a year.  YAAAAAYYYYYY.  Fuck my life.

And then on top of that, at the worst possible moment, the guy who own the studio I rent, is like “Well I’m getting older and we’d like to sell the building ASAP” at precisely the same time that I’m under financial hardship as to potential tens of thousands of dollars of work the insurance assholes are making me do… so I don’t know how I’m going to not snap under the pressure here.

Sooo…. I’m either going to snap and run into the insurance company with an AK-47 and go crazy… or I’m going to politely tell them to fuck off, or maybe I’ll regain my composure and tell them that I can do “A” and “C”, but “B” ain’t gonna happen.    They sent me two letters basically asking the same stuff, and one had a June deadline and another an August one, so I’m going to default to the August one.

In any event, all this stress was weighing heavily on my shoulders when I went off to the woods in Vermont for a regional Burning Man-type event (a “burn”) called Firefly.  This was 5 days out in the woods with a bunch of hippies and trance music and LED and crazy art out in the woods.  I myself used this as a way to express myself through my own crazy costumes and presentation as sort of a walking statuesque work of art.  Here’s a couple of selfies.  They’re not the best selfies, as the first two days were hot and humid beyond belief and the discomfort comes through in the photos.

After the first two nights,  some thunderstorms blew through and the weather was much much nicer.   I had a great experience but it’s mostly a personal thing that I’m not really sure how much I want to share on social media anyway.  I was able to at least forget about my troubles for a little while.  My only regret is that I didn’t get many photos in the Valkyrie outfit which I’m told was pretty impressive and yes, very painful to wear.  Actually maybe that’s my subbie fetish, some sort of masochistic pleasure gotten from wearing painful outfits and painful shoes?  There was definitely some sort of endorphin rush

But I’m sort of in the middle of it, so it’s completely impossible to describe my fetish to people, perhaps it’s better from the perspective of the people observing me?

So I got back from that, and I’m all like, -OK Tara, the best thing you can possibly do now, if you want to have any chance to save your studio, is to spend every waking minute out in the studio working on shoots, or unfinished projects out there.  Maybe even get my website output back up to the levels that I had years ago before my  productivity seems to have slowed down.   If nothing else that at least uses up the space and I can sign off on props and or backgrounds that I’ve been holding on to forever.

So I came back all energized, but also really tired.  Like reaaaaaaaallllly tired.  Back at Firefly, I did probably walk around the event in the woods, yes, on trails, in yes- wait for it- 5″ or 6″ heels.  And yes, I’m very very very very very good at that. In fact, I seem to have ankles of steel now, and I have this feeling that if I was about to twist my ankle, I could just flip my body upright just from my strong ankle muscles alone. Here’s a sampling of some of the footwear I brought, because nothing will kill the harmony of an outfit like having to wear like hiking boots or Birkenstocks with it.

Yeah, 7- 10 miles a day of walking meant that I was nearly dead for the first couple of days back home, and when I finally got some energy back, for some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to be in the woods more.  And I have a great little nook in the woods on the edge of my property (actually partially the studio lot which is adjacent to my house lot).  So even though I should have been doing shoots and outfits and all that, I found myself clearing land.  And that land was covered with poison ivy.

And even though I wore long sleeves and pants and gloves and all that, somehow, I’m now, you guessed it – covered in poison ivy as well.  Which scuttles my plans for new shoots at least for another couple of days until the rash subsides.

So I’m not in a great place right now. Sure, I was able to find some lingerie that covered up the rash and managed to make myself feel pretty last night for some late night chaturbate camshow action, but I tell ya, it’s tough to get into the feeling pretty mood when your skin is all scaly.  Maybe, I can do a latex catsuit shoot or something. That might be a happy medium.

And i have this terrible habit that when I get my mind on one project- even if it’s the project that I shouldn’t be doing- shifting focus onto something else is like trying to turn or stop  a steam locomotive.  Yep.  Not gonna happen.

I don’t know why I feel compelled to clear land and build stone walls and do a bunch of stuff that really has no bearing on the work that the insurance company wants me to do.. I guess I’m just procrastinating, or dreading doing the actual work.  Or worried that when I peel off the 70 year old cedar shingles on the side of the house, that I’ll uncover a horrifying amount of carpenter ants or something I would have been happier being ignorant about.

So I’m energized, but maybe for all the wrong things.  And my skin is currently a mess, so i can’t even do a proper shoot in that “Nympho Nymph” outfit that you see me in the woods in  (that’s actually also the reason for clearing some of my woods, so that I can do some awesome shoots out there).  I’m stressed out because of my house and squeezed between a rock and a hard place with buying or having to give up my studio space.  And maybe on top of this, for all I know, I might actually have a re-occurence of Lyme disease or something (you know, there’s always a zillion deer ticks outside).

What I really could use is some sort of boost in my career, be it from more attention from fans, or increased memberships, or just a feeling that it’s all going somewhere and getting better and better and not worse and worse. Trust me, it’s very tough not to feel old in this business and this is coming from someone who was probably too old for porn on the day i started my own site 15-odd years ago.  Still trying to figure out what the next phase to all this is. I mean, people should be hiring me to emcee their trans friendly fetish events or something, goddamn it.  Trouble is, I gotta pound the pavement to make things happen, and there’s only one person here on Team Tara, and my plate is already unbelievably full.

Anyway I don’t know what I’m going to do. I sorta feel like my dreams are slipping away from me, and here and there I feel like I have the energy to make that final Hail Mary pass and see if it goes anywhere.  Something needs to happen, and that something might have to come from outside somehow.  I don’ t know what I’m going to do because my natural inclination is to just shut down.  And seeing as how tired I am, that sort of ends up what’s happening.

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

“Red Domina” and 4 new videos.


Hey new stuff!  I called this set “Red Domina” although I’m not all that dominant looking in the photos.
Its a pretty hot shoot, though I guess I did have a red and black color scheme on my mind from the abandoned Molotov Cocktease shoot that didn’t happen (and probably won’t)

So I am going through a lot of stressful crap with the possibility of losing my studio space.  I’m not sure if I really want to go into too many details right now, though I did mention it on my tumblr blog.  Put simply, I might only have my studio for another couple of months, or who knows, it could still end up being years.   So regardless of what happens, the best thing for me to do is to get as many shoots done as possible and stock up on content.

This is going allright, though a summer heat wave finally hit and sucked a lot of energy out of me.  My studio building is a little too big to cool properly, which means I can’t really use it in the hottest days of the summer.  If it ends up that I do lose my studio, my other option is to build a smaller studio, something that suits my needs a bit better (and easier to cool)

With this push to get photo and video shoots done, there’s also a new video update up on my site!   Videos for “Jizzoline Queen”, “Let them Eat cock”, “Chastity Circus” and “Harlequin Romance” just went up.  I also shot for “Diamond Disco” but that didn’t make the update.  Also, I will be shooting video for “Red Domina” as well.  The way I usually do things is that I shoot the photos in one session, and then maybe a few days or even a week or a month later, while the set is still up and the costume is still handy, I go back in and shoot the video.  Sometimes this means that a set is up for months and months afterwards.

Once I’m satisfied that I’ve got enough video, then I break down the set and put things away, and it’s on to the next projects.  Sometimes though, I don’t get any video, which in the case of  “Tentacle Grape”, everything was super janky and falling apart that once I was finished with the photos, I decided that I’d just remount a whole different tentacle shoot if I wanted to revisit that theme.

So enjoy the new updates. I’ll make a separate post about my studio woes, as it’s a little too complicated to go into here in depth right now.

-Tara

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments