Tara goes back “Down the Rabbit Hole”!

So I had planned to shoot “Goldicocks” as my next outfit, but I haven’t quite settled on the set yet.  I then turned my attention to making a few new bits to go with my purple latex catsuit, but that itself started to evolve into a Cheshire Cat outfit, so it went from a simple project to a much more involved one.

Then I was looking around at video and it turns out that ages ago when I shot this “Alice in Wonderland” themed shoot – “Drink Me”, I shot a bunch of video that I had been saving for a fairy-tale themed DVD that never happened.    I’ll probably throw that footage onto a forthcoming DVD, but it seemed like now might be nice to revisit this outfit since it had been a while.   But it was falling apart (the pvc was flaking off) so this is probably going to be the last time it gets used.

However, I did “sluttify” it a bit, by making the front of it open, and adding blue and white lace trim which I already had.  Add some white posterboard squares to my black back wall of my studio, and instant Alice in Wonderland shoot!
Since the first time I did this shoot, my breasts are much larger, and so is my capacity to take very large toys – all improvements!  And as much as I love the concept of “Drink Me” I think you can say in general my skills at posing and lighting have improved a lot as well.

So I’m still editing the set- looks like the gallery will top out around 200 pictures total!  Curiouser and curiouser!  So – what do you think about more trips to Wonderland?
And as something of a bonus, the last third of the photoset has a bit of an up-do instead, for some variety!


Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 2 Comments

Live simulcast camshows coming up!

I took about a week off from scheduled camshows but going to do some this week!

Wednesday October 12th, 7pm and 10 pm EST  (well, let’s just say that I might be camming solidly from 7 to 11pm, but i’ll probably do a costume change sometime in there somewhere)

… and Friday October 14th 5pm / 11pm

See you then!


Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Candystripe Superstar (?), a sequel to “Sugar Rush”

So I think I’ve gone about as far as I want to ever go with the whole pink and white striped theme.  On the other hand, perhaps this is pink and white perfection…
I had planned this shoot a while back when I did “Sex on Wheels” but at that point the set pieces (pink and white setee, chair and vanity) were ready but the outfit wasn’t.

You may notice this is an alteration and development of the old “Sugar Rush” costume.  What happened was the maribou trim hadn’t worn well, so I took it off and added some other trim, added a little hat and a bolero jacket in the same material, and viola!  It’s a new candystripe thing, without most of the Christmas connotaions.
So I haven’t figured out a name for this shoot yet, but as usual, the names usually come while I’m deep in the editing process, which generally takes 3 or 4 days.  “Cansystripe Superstar?”  “Peppermint -something?”.  It’ll come to me.

Thankfully on this shoot I spent a bit of time getting the lighting right, so the touch up I have to do is pretty minimal.  I didn’t take too many pictures, nor so few that I have dip into the rejects just to have enough for a full shoot.  The final count will be somewhere just below 200 shots I think.  After that, will I retire this pink and white wall?  Perhaps.  I do have a number of other walls of my studio that need to be seen more, so maybe we won’t see it for a while, maybe it will get painted over.  I’d like to experiment with some radically different color schemes.   As much as this shoot is the logical progression of the pink and white striped theme, are you all sick of it already?

You’ll also notice my new favorite sex toy makes an appearance here.  I think I’m going to get it in purple too as I’m thinking purple needs to be a color scheme I play around with next.


Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments

Settling down into a live camshow schedule, and well, “more of the same”

So hey, I’ve made making a few tweaks to my site, basically trying to come up with the best way to let my members know when my next live camshow would be.  One thing is that I embedded my twitter feed on to my site (It’d be nice to get the widget going here as well), and the other is that I got a little 2-week ahead calendar graphic that is visible on my main splash page.  Something like this:

I’m not quite sure yet if that’s the best way but we’ll see.  Every time I do a camshow I have a few of my members watching, but it’s nowhere near the total amount of members I have, so I’m not certain yet how to get them all to tune in.  I guess not everyone can just show up to a scheduled show.

A while back, I asked one of my fans what I should be doing for new shoots, since I tended to be slow bringing out my newest and most original ideas.  Well, they said they liked what I did and really just wanted “more of the same”.  And I know that doesn’t sound very inspiring, but it also makes me realize that I really should just be banging out the shoots left and right and going with whatever I come up with.

As I was researching some hentai I found some artwork of pink-haired dolly French maids, so I decided it might be nice to ramp up things with my pre-existing French maid uniform.  Perhaps I got the background too busy, but I decided to release this photo shoot anyway. I think the total amount of pictures in this set will be around 125-150.

I think I can keep dipping back into old outfits and cranking the cartoony sexdoll factor up a few notches and then it becomes something new.  I still have big plans for “Goldicocks” but I really want the set and background and props to be perfect for that one, so I’m taking my time getting the details right.

Hmm, I’m not certain about this maid shoot.  Maybe less would have been more (well, less going on in the background).  Still, I think people would rather see it than not.  I know somewhere on my computer are a few shoots I haven’t released at all because they didn’t come out as good as I expected,  but this one is fine.


In any event, I’m working to get this one on my site ASAP, as my memberships are sorta way down from a few weeks of relative inactivity and laying low on webcam.  But the next camshow is for Friday September 16th.  Starting at approximately 5pm EST till whenever.  Maybe a few hours, maybe all night depending on how many people are watching or if I want to switch it over to mostly streamate customers.

See you tomorrow!  Oh wait that’s technically today..



Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 12 Comments

Where have I been? Well super busy prepping for Montreal Fetish Weekend.

So, I sorta vanished off the face of the earth there for about a week.  It wasn’t because I stopped doing things – on the contrary – I was so busy sewing things and making outfits that I barely had time to post anything on any social media at all.   I often get like this and it’s sorta like having blinders – and everything else gets tuned out.

Well, I planned to make 5 new outfits for Montreal, but ended up only getting one new outfit ready, and the second one was a further development of an older one.

A third outfit got about as far as having the pieces cut out of it, but I really needed more material to proceed, and I might have to hit some cloth stores in Connecticut in order to finish it.  The fourth and fifth outfits were designed and material was bought, but both were to be constructed out of unconventional materials, so that was sort of uncharted territory for me.

So, what did I get done?  Well, the big one that did make it’s debut, was “Goldicocks”.  Yeah, that’s the name I picked for it.  I think you can pretty much guess what this one will be about.  Here’s some selfies I shot in the hotel room.

I pretty much was working like mad on this one, and it came down the wire so much that even on the Saturday of the event (I drove up to Montreal on Friday, and it’s club nights Friday, Saturday and Sunday) – I was still sewing the bolero jacket and adding bows and trim to this one.  I’ll probably still do some tweaks before the actual shoot, which if you can guess might have some actual plushie action (uh oh!)

Yep, still sewing on the floor of the Montreal hotel...

Outfit #2 doesn’t really have a specific name yet, but you may recognize some of it.  It’s actually a development on the “Sugar Rush” corset.  What happened is that the marabou trim on it didn’t hold up too well, so it needed to be replaced by something else.  And since I still had several yards of that pink and white satin material, it gave me the opportunity to make a lot more bits and pieces and push the whole outfit way further into crazy candy land territory.

So ,there’s more that I’m going to make for this, but what I got done here was make a bolero jacket with sleeves, and a little hat which sits well between the clip on puffs in that over the top pink wig.  At the event I had a few people ask if I was influenced by the Hunger Games.  Hmm, maybe a little bit, but I think a lot of what I do is certainly a progression of what I’ve been doing over he past 10-15 years.  But I suppose all the color and extra frills is also a reflection of what’s available today in wigs as opposed to what you could get 10 years ago.

So, the days leading up to driving up for the event were a bit hectic.  I managed to not pull any all nighters, but I was down to the wire making stuff, and my sewing room looked like this most of the time- just bits of outfits everywhere, pure chaos.  There’s a floor here somewhere, I assure you.

You may notice the other sewing machine in the background.  Well, that’s because at the 11th hour, my main sewing machine decided to have some of the plastic break on it.  Really, it’s when you desperately need something to not break, that’s when it does it.  There a plastic wheel you pull out when you want to disengage most of the mechanism of the needle going up and down, so that you can wind a bobbin instead. (If you’ve ever used a sewing machine you’ll have a rough idea what I’m talking about).

There was no time to replace the part so I ended up jury rigging by tightening it down with lots of lock washers and it managed to work ok for the trip.  But if I was sewing on a corset and like hit a piece of steel boning, that would pretty much break my repair.  Yeah, I’m pretty hard on sewing machines.  But this particular machine has a few key features that they don’t seem to do anymore that I need in order to sew things like PVC.

So what was outfit #3?  Well, it’s working title is “Flamenco” so you can expect lots of ruffles and it’s made out of white sateen with blue polkadots.  The sort of working sketch I settled on came out something like this.

But I only had 2 yards of the material I bought months ago so I wasn’t sure it would be enough to do that many ruffles on the sleeves.   The problem about buying cloth is it’s not like a brand name of thing that you can walk into another store and get the exact same stuff.  And no, you can’t buy cloth over the internet unless you know EXACTLY what you’re getting.  Like I’d buy charoplex over the internet because it’s a brand name of printed oilcloth and I’ve used it before, and I know what I’m getting.  In fact, I’ve used charoplex for several outfits, and it’s one of my favorite materials.

But cloth?  Who know who makes what, and especially if it’s at a discount place, eh, you might have a tough time finding more if you’ve found a bunch before.  In fact, I went back to the store to find more blue on white polkadot sateen, and instead I found 2 yards of red on pink sateen clearly made by the same company.  Well, that’s nice for a different outfit but it’s not going to help my problem..

But the store I got it from in RI has a few satellite stores in Connecticut and maybe I’ll make the road trip out there later and get a few more yards, so that I can go overboard with the ruffles on the sleeves.  I did cut everything out and I had it in the back of my mind that I would be sewing things while in Montreal, but the reality is that once I got there, all I wanted to wrap up was “Goldicocks” and I thought  Aw fuck itscrew flamenco- if I try to finish it now, it’s just gonna be a compromise..

So yeah, that one’s tabled until later.  And then outfit #4 and #5 are really nuts, and they have the working titles of “Neko Skunk” and “Mecha Tara”

“Neko Skunk”  is kinda a dirty anthropomorphic thing, not so much a fursuit fetish thing, but more like splitting the difference between one and just having ears and a tail.  And oh, that tail!

So the tail is pretty ambitious, as I envisioned it as a cockring attached to a metal strap running up the butt crack, connected to a buttplug, and then attaching to a fairly large tail and a strap that connects to a collar around the neck. I know that sound complicated but it makes sense to me.  Well, I have all the purple faux fur and white fur and things to finish it, but the cockering/buttplug/tail involves a small amount of welding, so..  with a couple of days left I decided to not quite finish this one and leave this one home.  I also had some reservations as to wether there was any way I could make this outfit PG-rated enough to wear it to an actual nightclub too.

And the last outfit, Mecha Tara, is going to be mostly made out hot glued styrofoam, carved into the shapes I want it in, though I hadn’t quite worked all that out yet. I got as far as buying a big piece of styrofoam at Home Depot, and a ton of hot glue, and the design, but I knew there was challenges ahead with this one.

But what’s tantalizing about these two future outfits is that they are unlike anything that I’ve done before, and are a further development of the whole “Tara Emory Futanari Fuckdoll” thing.  There’s pushing the cartoony anime boundaries a little further, so we’ll see how they eventually come out.   If they do come out well, I can imagine them being amazing outfits for performances or just being on stage at events.   One thing I had in mind for “Mecha Tara” was the idea that I could make it as huge as I wanted it to be for Montreal Fetish Weekend because I drive to that event, and what I bring is only limited by the space in my car.  So I can really GO BIG at that event.

Of course, now that I’ve done many Fetish Weekends, I can only imagine how terrible it would have been to try to get into a building or walk in a crowded club in something like that.  Add to that the fact that it would mostly be made out of styrofoam (for lightness), probably would make it a sure bet that it would have gotten trashed.

So how was the event? Well, I could have driven up Thursday but I was still too busy making stuff, so I drove up Friday, the day of the first event that night, and drove back Monday.  I wore all the outfits I finished here, and when it came to the Exhibitionist Photo Tour on Sunday, I wore “Coquette Cumpot” which well, wasn’t new, but it’s new to Montreal since I made it since last September.

Yeah, I know. More terrible quality selfies. I pretty much take them just so that in future years, I have a rough idea of what I wore to past fetish events. A billion pictures were taken of me at the events, and I'm sure that eventually they'll surface.

And I think I also brought “Poladot Bimbette” because it was an easy outfit to pack, and looked pretty hot even though it was pretty simple (and easy to wear compared to those corsets.)

In general, I barely had time to party much of socialize a hell of a lot. I was working on finishing “Goldicocks” pretty much up till I wore it out on Saturday night, and then Sunday was pretty free with the photo tour and the party that night.  I did meet a lot of people and make some new friends, but I wasn’t up all night partying quite like a pornstar.  I’ve overdone it before at these events and this year I kept things pretty much in check.   One fun thing is that I drove up in my 2cv.

I kinda wish I got this shot on a more French looking street in the old part of Montreal, but I was on my way back and had to take what I could.

I actually drove  this one up this year because I had an idea that maybe I’d drive it on the photo tour but the way they did it this year wouldn’t have worked out (they took a subway to a part of town that was pretty much pedestrian only).    And I drove it up because it goes really well and it’s fun to drive and actually pretty reliable, if  bit pokey up the mountains in Vermont.  Since it was just me and my stuff and a big teddy bear in the passenger seat, it was enough room.  Also the weather was absolutely gorgeous that weekend.  So I had the top down all the way up.

Can i take the carpool lane?

Since this car has no small amount of road vibrations (i’m constantly working on it to work out the bugs), it can be a bit hard on your right foot.  I perfected a sort of cruise control by having my left foot on the gas and stretching my aching right leg across what passes for a dashboard.  Keep in mind I only so this on highway roads where I don’ thane to make any quick stops or gear changes, though I also got pretty good at switching back to the right foot pretty fast.

Well, if you're going to drive a deathtrap, you might as well go all the way and take a selfie while driving at 100 kph down the highway. Don't worry, this was taken with the front facing camera and only took like a millisecond of not looking at the road

So that was Montreal Fetish Weekend this year.  RIght now it’s Tuesday night and I’m back at home, having spent Monday afternoon and evening driving back and today just cleaning up the house and doing all the chores around here that got ignored when I had to concentrate on making outfits.  I had planned on doing more cam shows before leaving, and maybe a shoot, but of course that all didn’t happen because I got too busy making stuff.

But I’m back, I’m not hung over or recovering from a partying binge, and will be back to it Wednesday.  I’ll probably be available on cam Wednesday night!


Posted in Behind the Scenes, Tara's fetish designs, travel | 4 Comments

How these live webcamshows work- the short version.

Are you a member of my website?  If so, log on.

On the main “cover page” that announces whatever my newest shoot is, you’ll probably see a bunch of crap over to the right.  If it looks like this,  than it means I’m online and logged into streamate.com (aka cammodels.com).

Make up a nickname and start chatting with me.  Don’t just hit return-  the only way your nickname will stick is if you hit the “Chat with Me” button.

However, I might not be visible if I’m already doing a show with a streamate member, especially if you’re the first taraemory.com member to log in.  If I am already in a camshow with a streamate member and I don’t have the external feed turned on, you will get a screen like this:

DO NOT CLICK ON “ENTER MY SHOW”  That will take you to the streamate.com website and attempt to get you to start up an account there where if you catch my shows, you will be charged by the minute.  No, just wait until I finish my private show and WAIT UNTIL I acknowledge that I see that you’re online.  Then I will turn on my “external feed” and I’ll be able to take off my clothes, etc..

And basically that’s it.  I’ll ask you if you want me to do a show for you and we’ll go from there.  If it’s an impromptu show, it will be whatever I’m wearing at that moment.  Or it might be a re-creation of one of my shoots, or it might be a live broadcast of a shoot I’m doing.

But I must stress that you have to actually make sure that I know that you are there, so I can turn on the external feed.  I don’t have the external feed on if there aren’t any taraemory.com website members viewing my show.  In that case, I’m just in the guest room there and trying to lure streamate.com members into their shows.

There really is no time limit to how long the shows are, and it just depends on when you catch me.  Maybe it’s the end of the night and I’ve been doing shows on streamate.com and you’ll be lucky enough to catch the cumshot.   But it’s about me pleasing you in the show, and please chat with me , don’t just sit there silently and expect me to masturbate for you for hours upon hours upon hours.  It doesn’t quite work that way.  You gotta interact with me and you know, you’re basically having live intimate time with me, you gotta participate a little too.

If you’re just star struck and looking at me, I probably won’t do a show with you, it’s as simple as that.  At least say “hi”.  If you’re not doing anything on your end, guess what, I’ll get bored too.

Now, during this time, you might hear other streamate members log in and out, so sometimes I’m doing a show for a few people at once.  It can get a little confusing and maybe you do just want to watch me for hours, and in that case if you’re being a voyeur, I’ll probably spring to life as streamate.com members drift into and out of shows with me.

And sometimes you might see something saying that I’m online and if I’m not responsive maybe I’m doing a show for someone else, or doing a gold show on that site, and you can’t view that.  It’s not a perfect system.  Also, if I’m not online, there’s all this garbage that says “I’m not online but some of my friends are” which I will be honest, clutters up the page with what looks like clickbait links.  I’m currently looking at all the pieces of code that they provided me with and if there’s a way I can smooth down the interface I will.

Its far from perfect.  For example, if you’re logged into the show, you can’t see if there is anyone else watching it, so it might get confusing when I’m talking to other people.

There’s also some other weird thing about it.  “Cammodels.com” and “Streamate.com” is the same thing.  I only just figured this out.  I’m not sure, but this site probably has like 10 other names and it’s all the same site.  And the code they gave me to insert into the page has a bunch of ads on it.   If I can remove the code that promotes the whole “Members who like this model also like…” stuff, I will.

But what you don’t want to do, if you’re a taraemory.com members (AKA tara-ts.com!) is go onto streamate.com and pay by the minute when you’re a member of my website.  Or, I suppose,  if you really want to spend your money that way, go ahead. In order to see my live cam feed, you gotta be inside the member’s area of my site.

And like I said elsewhere, this feature is all in it’s infancy, I’ll be smoothing out the bumps in the coming month of September and probably doing  a lot more live shows, and live broadcasts of my shoots as they happen, and special events.

Or, if you email me and you’re a member, we can actually agree to a time when I’m online.  That could work too!

Long story short.  Log in, send me a message, and you’ll be in a show with me when I tell you that I have the external show turned on. Or you’ll be lucky and it will already be turned on.

See you on cam!


Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

So Tara, Yes, By All means Do Explain To Me Again How These Live Camshows Work?

First thing, let me say that I don’t know the best way to get in contact with my members, and how to let them know that I’m planning on doing a live camshow, or in the process of doing a live camshow.  I would think that twitter would be the best way,  but twitter is such a mess I think most announcements get lost under tons of noise.

So, I’m going LIVE camshows on my member’s site.  This is through streamate, but at no additional charge to my website members.   This has the potential to be a game changer on my website, and it reflects the new reality of what it means for me as an adult performer who makes her income off a self-run adult site in the year 2016.

Other girls  often ask me advice into getting into the adult business and running a membership-driven personal website.  My joking answer is usually this:  Learn Quantum Mechanics.  Why Quantum Mechanics?  Because learning Quantum Mechanics is probably the only thing that’s going to get you closer to building a time machine, and then getting into that time machine and going back to 2004 when people actually made money off of adult websites.

That’s my joking answer.  But it rings very true in a lot of ways.  I recently stumbled across some paystubs from 2004 and it makes me cry.  From memberships to my site, I made quadruple what I make now, or even more.  It wasn’t quite wipe your ass with $50 bills money, but $5 bills?  Sure!

And its crazy to think of what I was actually offering on my website in 2004 that made such a ridiculous amount of money.  What I had on my site in 2004 represents probably 2 to 5 % of the total content of what my site has now.  There wasn’t even any video, except for some small clips, and the photo sets that were up were like 600 x 900 pixels.

Sure, I was able to update the site more frequently and I was flush with cash.  This was the golden age of internet porn, and I’m not afraid to look back at it wistfully like that.  I don’t quite know if it was a simple matter of people had not seen much of this thing before, or that later on so much of my own work was floating around the internet so that anyone who wanted a Tara fix could just google me and get off.  I don’t quite know.  I do think though, that the fact that I am still able to maintain any profit off a member’s site is a testament to the quality of the work I have done.

I literally cannot think of anyone who was a contemporary of me who is still making money off a member’s site.  Vicki Richter?  Allanah Starr?  Maybe they still have sites, I don’ t know.  And yeah, I know what I’m also saying.  I guess I’m admitting that I’m ollllllllddddd.  Guess what?  I don’t fucking care.  In fact, I was recently complimented on my age in regards to my good looks by someone who was tired of lusting after porn stars the age of their daughter.  Guess what?  Middle aged people need to fantasize over porn too.

But anyway, I’m going off on a tangent.   Have I slowed down?  Sure.  Sort of.  Actually, if people would just pay attention they would see that I have been producing some of the best material of my career, but I’ll get to that in a minute.  But speaking of my site and profitability, some times people ask me if I would ever retire or pull down my site.

Retire? Maybe.  Pull down my site?  Not likely.   Back in those days when all this was new and I was making nice money off this (and again, I’m not talking 6 figures or anything), I was paying for a server whose cost varied with bandwidth and downloads.  Usually that server cost $200 a month, but there were times when I had password hacking/sharing/security problems and my server costs would jump to $800 a month.   This didn’t happen often but it was a problem.  But back in those days when in a week I was making my rent on a 2 bedroom apt in Boston that I lived in by myself, that wasn’t as big of an issue.  Fast forward a few years and server costs came down, and right now I have a stable priced server that only costs me $15 a month to rent.  Add to that the annual charges for things like .com’s etc, and that only adds like maybe $100 to the costs every year.

The only way I would ever pull or delete my site is if it couldn’t earn a profit in light of these miniscule operating costs.  Even if I stopped producing new shoots and content, I would still be upgrading old shoots and finessing the interface and re-editing video because I consider everything that I have ever done in my career to be “product” that I effectively sell on my site.  I don’t have any qualms in saying that that product is for the most part photographs, and if you can’t get off on photo and only video does it for you, that’s simply a matter of taste and what you are jaded to not be affected by.

I know that the biggest complaint that I get about my site is that there isn’t enough video.  And I am working on that, and there are multiple solutions that I’m going to get to in a second (assuming that anyone actually reads this blog, I mean, look at all these words, when are we going to get to porn, dammit?).   So I hate it when I get a piece of “fan mail” like this.

Hi Tara

I’m sorry to say that I’m extremely unsatisfied with your website.  There are hardly any videos and the ones that are there are from 2009..  This is just horrible.  Can you please just cancel my subscription and give me my money back?  That would be awesome.

Name witheld.

Oh yay.  Someone pulling that “the customer is always right” bullshit on me.  Let me tell you, I don’t give an ounce for that.  And people don’t have to write to me to cancel their membership, I think CCBill will just do it.  Sure, I refunded his money but I snapped at him and basically told him to fuck off and die.  Yeah, I know, really kills the fantasy when I do that.  But really, did you have to go there and say “This is just horrible”?  Really?  Didja?  Because that’s basically saying all the effort I go to in making outfits (weeks often), shooting and editing pictures (it basically takes 3-4 days just to edit a shoot) is all for nothing.  And implying that most of the videos there are from 2009 is just B.S.  Sure, there are a lot of crappily shot videos on there from 2009 when I cammed a lot, but theyr’e all tiny and short,   I only started putting videos on my site in 2008 and well over 50% of the total amount of videos are newer than 2010 and yes, there has been a bit of a slowdown (it takes time to edit them and compose music), but that’s where the live camshows come in.

Which is what I’m supposed to be taking about and -I swear, at some point in this blog post I will get to it-

All the videos I have shot since 2010 have been shot in HD and I’m still in the process of upscaling them and it just takes a while to do.  And as a person producing “product”, I consider stuff that I shot 5 years ago to be just as viable as something I shot last week.

Now I don’t know if this guy has belonged to my site before, it seems like he hasn’t.  What kills me is that he was a member for one day and either burned through everything in a day, or didn’t look very deep.  Certainly he didn’t stick around long enough to catch a live camshow, which is a real shame because there is something very special in it’s infancy there.  I consider everything that I have ever done to be viable product – It’s like when you buy an Audrey Hepburn or Marilyn Monroe calendar, you get pictures from over their whole careers, not just 12 pictures of their gravestones.

Now I know, it’s probably a bit vain of me to compare myself to those legends, but if I’m going to talk about 2004-2010 as the Golden Age of Personal Membership sites, why not?   My career and my income sources are changing, like I said, mostly because you become a victim of your own success.  Which means that if I want people to support my art and join my website, I have to be very frank and direct and basically guilt them into supporting me.

I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten fan mail from someone who basically admits that they got my videos off a pirate site or my pictures off a site rip or something like that.  And you know, it’s also possible that this dissatisfied customer was one of those assholes who joins my site, steals every picture using site rip software and then cancels their membership, complaining that they weren’t satisfied. And sometimes they go and turn around and hawk their stolen wares on a site where they can literally make money off the advertising space.  So yeah, can you actually understand why I’m pissed about this?  This has been happening since I’ve started and to be honest, if I think about it too much it just makes me want to stop producing anything. I mean, why fucking bother?  If the fans are going to rip me off.

Again, this leads to the exciting world of LIVE camshows, which is actually the subject of this blog post and it would seem to be, a point I am taking a while to get to.  But yeah, fan mail from people stealing from me?  That sucks. And I have to say, if this guy is joining my website for the first time, there’s a LOT of content on there, certainly more than someone who has just been starting in the business.

So what all this means is that the economics of a paysite has changed.  I know a lot of fellow adult actors who had profitable sites that now even if they update it 3 times a week and spew content like you wouldn’t believe, they STILL aren’t making enough off their sites to keep them from working shitty full time job elsewhere.  I am not at that point yet, and if I did go that route, I know that a full time job in retail or something awful would suck up so much of my energy that I wouldn’t have any left to produce new outfits or shoots.

Which brings me, FINALLY, to live camshows.

For the last year or two, I have been camming through streamate.com.  I also cammed through chaturbate.com but the business model is different there and for various reasons I like streamate better.   Now on streamate I earn money from doing one on one shows with (mostly) guys and I get paid per minute.  Now you may have remembered that I am only two weeks out of recovering from having Lyme Disease basically ruin my summer, right on the heels of my surgery in the spring sorta keeping me out of commission.

The Lyme Disease basically killed my drive and income for a while and I’ve been frantically playing catch up this month and things are happening fast.  While I’ve gotten two new shoots out, Polkadot Bimbette and Trophy Blonde, I am working on the next batch of amazing new outfits, which I am making for Montreal Fetish Weekend, coming up in a week in Canada.  Now you may be thinking,  “Tara, you were 2 months behind on your mortgage a few weeks ago, how can you possibly afford to go to Montreal?  And isn’t this not a priority?”

Well, it is a priority because it will spur me into making a bunch more outfits that will produce amazing shoots that will show you all the direction my craft is headed.  And yes, it means you might have to wait until September to see the results of it.

But the reason that I can afford it is that I have been webcamming like mad on streamate, and that first week I rebounded, I made more that week camming than I had in the entire month of July.  The money is there to be made on webcam, all you have to do is put the time into it.  And just in the past 2 weeks of pretty solid camming, I have really gotten better at the art of huge dildo insertion and basically getting guys off, which let’s be honest, that’s what you’re here for.  Even the stills are pretty hot.  I’m on my way to an epic gape and the whole anime/candy doll pink/blue hair and bows thing is really doing well for me on streamate. 

Things are taking off and I’m building an entirely new fan base on streamate, of people who are willing to pay per minute for this.  This means that I divide my time and are planning that half of my income comes from my memberships, and half comes from the camming site.  And if one of them isn’t making as much as the other, I just work extra hard to make up the different in whichever one is more profitable at the moment.

The beauty is, that I can do both at the same time.  Streamate has a feature that allows me to have my live feed be visible on my member’s area, and this means that if I’m on cam for 5 hours and I’m broadcasting on my site at the same time, for your $19 or 25/month membership wank to the live me for 5 hours and if you had paid by the minute that would have cost you like $1000.  So if you catch me on cam a few times a month, or even just one time a month, thats a fucking good value.

And that’s why I’m doing this-  because live camshows will fullfill that need for something immediate and raw and well, one on one.  But it is not without it’s drawbacks.  For one, I am not recording these camshows, other than taking a few stills and a few clips from them (usually the cumshots).  I simply can’t clog up my computers and website with hours of unedited video which when compared to what I produce for my DVDs, I consider not my best work.   It’s simple, either you catch me one night, or you catch me another night.

But like I said, this is in its infancy.  I’ve only started to see the potential of what this can be like, and I want my live camshows to be events, something to be hyped up and a destination and a reason for people to join my site when otherwise they might not.  I’ve got the outfits and the sets and everything ready to go so that once it gets a little colder outside, I can basically be on live cam almost every night of the week.

Now, how does it work?  Well, when I am on streamate, there are two different modes I can be on, “party chat” and “classic chat”.  If I am on “classic chat”, I can then turn on the external show that is visible on my site.  If there are any viewers from my site, they appear in green on my screen, and then I usually ask them if they want to do a one on one show with me.  That’s basically how it works.  At the same time that I’m doing that, streamate members can join in and pay the rate.

Now, if I’m online on streamate and there are no viewers from my site, I will turn off the external show which allows me to chat up streamate members in a guest area where I only take off my top.   If I notice that someone logs on from my site, it might take me a few minutes to wrap up the private show I am doing with someone else.

BOTTOM LINE IS THIS:  If you log on to my site and you notice that I am online on streamate, just make up a name and if I’m not already super busy, I’ll message you back and as long as I’m not already in a show with someone, we can start our own show.  You have to be a little patient because sometimes it’s very busy on streamate, and at this time, I haven’t solidified a schedule yet, so that my website members know when to log on.

But I have been finding that there are times that I log on a lot, and I do so because they are busy times on streamate.  Monday afternoons through early evening (EST), Wednesday early evenings, Friday evenings running pretty late into Saturday morning (I swear I get guys who come back from clubbing who didn’t pick anyone up so they go jack off online).  Saturday it’s possible that I can be on at any time during the day, as well as Sunday.

Right now it’s 1pm on a Saturday and this is me right now, just lazily turning on the cam for streamate, and I’ll also have it on for my site members.  If I get a lot of bites, it’ll keep me on for a few hours just ramming a huge dildo in my ass..  Then I might go do a few things and come back and do more that evening.

Once I settle into a schedule it’s just a matter of how I let my website members know I’m going to be on.  And sometimes the camshow is just going to be me rolling out of bed and touching up last night’s makeup, and sometimes the camshow is going to be something epic, with me recreating one of my classic shoots.   It’s just that I’m getting this up and running at the same time that I’m making outfits for Montreal and doing at least one shoot before I go, and looking at what video I have on my computer that I haven’t released yet (quite a lot).

Really, stuff is happening really fast, and at a pace that’s more than just one person to handle. I am really only just one person, and there are only so many hours in the day, and in those waning days of summer, the nice weather beckons me to enjoy the outdoors and seriously, I’m doing the best I can, so when someone tells me that my website is “horrible”, sure it pisses me off.  You should come back in like a month and you’ll see a lot of changes assuming that I can get this live stuff working smoothly.

So that’s how it stand right now.  I’ve been on cam a lot and most of that time, I turn on the “external feed” so that my member’s can view it too.  It’s growing into something that has a lot of potential.  Plus, I’m trying to get shoots and outfits done and looking at the untold hours of video I have yet to post on my site.  There will probably be a big opening of the floodgates in a few weeks.  September is when things generally pick up for my business anyway.  This is where I am,  this is how my career is at the moment.  Literally any time I am online I’ll try to be all dolled up and ready to cam.  Generally this is weekday evenings and I’ll try to tweet whenever I am on.  Until I figure out a better way of letting people know when I’ll be on.    I’ll actually be online a lot this coming week as I’m sewing outfits and I can actually sew and have the live cam on at the same time.

Right now the trouble is just building up the momentum to get more of my members to tune into my website at the right time so that they can take advantage of me being on live cam.

Okay, so this explanation ran long.  I’ll be writing an abbreviated version as well.

See you on cam this week!


Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Next shoot – “Polkadot Bimbette”

Here’s a tease of my newest work.  It’s actually a completely new version of an outfit I made years ago, but also echoing a classic pink with black polkadot look that I’ve  been rocking since I started in this business.

But this time the bows are bigger, the stockings are striped, and the blonde bimbo factor has been jacked up to – not 11- but sweet 16!

It was a rather simple shoot to do, but the vibe was there and I was quite excited during the whole shoot.  I actually learned my lesson from the last shoot and just concentrated on shooting and not broadcasting the shoot, and it paid off.  I was able to devote my undivided attention to the job at hand.

So this shoot is another big one.  There were over 400 originals and I have to trim them down to the best 200 or so.  I don’t have a final count yet, but it will be in that range.

This shoot marks the debut of my newest and now most favorite dildo.  On amazon I got this HUGE but soft and thankfully non-toxic pink jelly-like dildo.  Often times a lot of sex toys are downright toxic but dildo companies are starting to wise up and smartly market ones that don’t have phthalates in them.  Phthalates are chemicals that are used to soften and increase flexibility of pvc plastics.  I have quite a few big black sex toys that have them, and began to notice that my ass hurt more than usual after using them.  A dead giveaway also is if you put them in your mouth and they have a horrible taste that doesn’t go away.  In any event, I’ll be getting more like this pink one in the future and ditching a lot of those horrible black ones.

So I’m editing the set now, and it will go up on the site in a few days.  Gotta keep the momentum going!



Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 15 Comments

It’s up, it’s called “Trophy Blonde”, and it’s the biggest shoot I’ve ever done.

Well, it’s up on my members area!  How did I arrive at “Trophy Blonde”,  you may ask.  Ok, I don’t actually hear anyone asking, but I’ll tell you anyway.

I was stuck on a name for this one.  The old version was called “Majorette”, but in that one I was twirling a baton and it looked like I was in a stadium.  I did not fill out the outfit yet, and the “stadium” was cleverly faked, but pretty fake when you think about it.  I also think the green of the grass and lavender/blue of the sky sorta ruined the color palette of the outfit.
So I couldn’t call it “Majorette 2″and this time I’m less a drum majorette and just a member of the marching band.  Though the association with football games and collegiate sports is still pretty strong.

So the new version was a bit different, when I tried to come up with synonyms for “member of a marching band”, things sorta came up blank.  Then I looked at the pictures, and started jotting down words that I associated with what I saw.  Champion,  School, College,  After the Big Game,  After Band Practice,  Trophy,  Class.  Brass.

Hey, that instument is brass, right?

For a while I was thinking “ooh, Brass & Class works”, but that totally changed the meaning of class, taking it away from a classroom setting.  Then I thought a bit about that “classroom setting”.  I was going for that 50′s school sports trophy case look and my high school had one, but as a pornographer I will admit that if you’re ever doing anything schoolgirl-ish, you always want to steer it away from a high school and more towards college setting,  you know, for obvious reasons.

Actually once opon a time I wanted to do a high school themed porn, and a running joke in it would be that my character was so dumb, she repeated her senior year 4 times.  Then everyone who hit on her would do that math in their head, oh yeah, she’s 22.  But in any event that idea never came to fruition, as many seemingly clever porn movie concepts don’t.

So I threw out all the variations of “Brass after Class” etc, and worked on anything starting with trophy. Trophy Case,  Trophy Slut,  Trophy Girl,  Trophy Tart.  Trophy Bimbo.  Trophy Blonde.

Wait,  Trophy Blonde?  How could I miss that?  Although it throws away the whole “school” and “marching band” premise, it does reference the trophies, and well, the whole entire font of “Trophy Blonde” suggests a collegeiate setting.  Perfect.  That wasn’t so hard, was it?

So I shot this last Thursday and took something like 500 shots.  When I picked the ones I liked I ended up with 290 final pictures, which I think is the single largest (in quantity of pictures) shoot I’ve ever had on my site.  I took a quick scan of all the galleries of my site, and rarely do I ever release shoots that have over 200 pix to them, let alone approaching 300.

And it’s also the biggest shoot I’ve ever released in terms of pixel resolution.  Even though I’ve been using the same camera for 10 years now (yeah I know, but its a long story and there’s a reason), I had very different ideas about what was a “big” picture back then.  Something like 600 x 900 pixels seemed big in 2006.  Today that’s tiny.

So over the years the pixel dimensions of the longest side of a photo has slowly been creeping up to 1700, 1800, 1900 and now what the hell, why not 2000 pixels?

Of course, you won’t notice this is you view my pictures sized to fit your screen.  But those of you with those retina screens might appreciate it. Of course, this points out how stupidly tiny those old shoots are, so I’m very likely going to be re-editing all those photos from the originals, in the higher resolution and also looking at them with a different critical eye.  On an old shoot like “Majorette”, would the me of today even pick the same photos?  I might pick from just the cream of the crop, and I might also pick more pictures, now with the photoshop skills to fix an old photo that in the past, I might have chucked.  So everything’s going to change in these “updated” galleries, for the better.    You can zoom in and get lost in my classic pictures all over again..  Now, will I go back into the shoots that are 1700- 1900 pixels and re-do them at 2000?  Not sure.  Let me go back to the first shoots I shot with a good camera and see how I feel after I do a bunch of them.

So anyway, it’s “Trophy Blonde”.   I’ve been working hard the whole week pretty solid.  I was going to do a camshow monday night.  I’m gonna just move that to Wednesday, August 10, and do it at 6pm.  I’ll promote it as heavily as I can in the coming days, but I need a break from being in front of the camera.  I’m fired up and I want to start making my next huge, mega shoot, as I’ve got lots of ideas coming up.

See you this coming Wednesday.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 3 Comments

Something’s coming, I don’t know what it’s going to be called, but it’s gonna be great.

Here’s the first of what’s to come on my members site.

So this is a new version of “Majorette”, an outfit I made like 10 years ago.  I certainly fill it out better than I did then.  I’ll figure out a name for it, but right now the priority is just editing the photos. I shot like over 400 pictures, so I have to narrow them down to 200.  I’m about halfway there, which isn’t that bad considering that I only shot these pictures yesterday.   So the full set will be up on the site by the end of the weekend?  Probably.


Posted in Behind the Scenes, New shoot! | 2 Comments